I haven't posted in a while but I've just received news of a BFN today — this is my 3rd BFN with IVF. For this last round, they collected 19 eggs, and transferred 3 day 3 embryos. They weren't top quality. My AMH and FSH are, I'm told, ok for my age. I've always been able to have an ok amount of eggs fertilized but have difficulty making blastocysts. My husband's sperm seems to have no apparently big issues, but after a DNA fragmentation test, it did reveal that his sperm had some fragmentation. I also have immune issues — high NK cells. I'm with a very well regarded U.K. clinic boasting one of the highest success rates in the country. But I've now spent over 30K on IVF and can't afford to continue here so am thinking of Greece (I've heard good things about Serum IVF in Athens).
I'll be 42 this month. I'm so mentally and physically exhausted after almost a year of this. My current clinic, as well as Serum IVF's consultant, tell me that I should still try with my own eggs. But I'm not sure how many more rounds of this I can endure. It's just so exhausting. I feel like my life is put on hold. I'm not sure if my boss at work would be understanding of me going to Greece for 2 weeks for IVF treatment. I feel like I'm sacrificing my life in the small chance I get a BFP.
Sorry for the rant. I wondered if anyone had any recommendations of clinics abroad (if so, please DM me!). And also, what your thoughts are on a 42 year old trying a 4th or 5th time with her own eggs? I've been taking supplements from "It Starts With the Egg" and eating protein-heavy meals with lots of berries, veg, etc. I'm also doing acupuncture. But I wonder if these things will make enough of a difference for me. Any advice would be gratefully received.
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Janie79
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As you are considering to change clinics, have you thought on natural/modified IVF ?This method focus more on the quality than on the quantity of the egg.
My friend had few transfers ended on negative until she changed to this. It is also cheaper.
She had low AMH so she produced 2 follicles and one fertilised. She is 43 and got pregnant.
Sorry to hear about the disappointment. With your numbers of eggs and embryos o think you have a decent change and could continue to try. However you need to think, as you mentioned, how much more emotional and financial investment you are able to make. I’m sure you would do anything is possible, however not always see. So be kind and honest to yourself while making a decision. Good luck!
Thank you. Yeah, it's so difficult to move on (either to DE or adoption) because the doctors I speak to keep telling me that it's worth trying again with my OE as I'm still producing a decent number. But I guess it's all about quality...
If you are having difficulty making 5 day blastocysts, then there is definitely a quality issue somewhere. Either sperm or egg or both. Doing endless cycles with day 3 embryos that won't make it till day 5 is probably not the greatest option considering time and money constraints. I agree with trying IVF with lower stims and aim for quality rather than quantity of eggs. If you are open to DE, I would start researching that route in your place. If you feel you need to give yourself one more round with own eggs to put your mind at rest, then definitely try one more time. If you can take time off, overseas clinics are cheaper and some even do packages where you can try with your own eggs and with DE at the same time. This way if you get nothing from your own batch, you have the option to use DE embryos. These decisions are highly individual and depend on your mindset, priorities, financial abilities etc.
Thanks for your reply Marisa32 . The only thing with DE is, I'm planning on going to a clinic in Greece next time for an OE cycle and if that doesn't work, go with DE. But I'm East Asian and I wonder if they'll have a physical match for me in Greece...it might be difficult. Hmmm...
Ahh I see. Yeah that may be difficult to find in Europe. I know they have plenty here in the US, not sure how it works but maybe you could purchase eggs from an egg bank here and have them shipped? Hopefully your eggs come through, you never know.
Having had three rounds with my own eggs and being utterly exhausted and skint , I personally couldn't take any more. We were making embryos, some were ok, some didn't make it to day 5. I know DE is soo difficult to get your head round, but I needed guarantees, not hope. So far it's worked, early days, but I feel as happy as if it was my own. I'm up to 35k, and I just needed life to start. I think I switched to DE at 42. Good luck whatever you decide, plenty women have had success at 41, so you're not out the game by any means! Xx
Hi Janie, I am in a similar situation: 42.5 years old, 3 failed cycles within the last 10 months, substandard sperm (DNA fragmentation, low motility) and poor egg quality. We thought the 3rd cycle would be the last one, but we had shockingly bad outcome (no day 5 blastocyst) and didn't feel it was a complete cycle, so we are considering 1) mild/natural IVF which focuses on egg quality for older women; 2) an IVF 'holiday' in southern Europe. If there wasn't Covid, IVF abroad would be a no brainer. But given the current uncertainties and risks, we're putting that thought on hold.I am also with an expensive central London clinic who takes pride in their very high success rate. My consultant was arrogant and condescending. He refused to change things when obviously I was not responding to the protocol. Definitely changing clinic if there is another round.
In the month leading up to my 3rd egg collection, I took almost everything from It Starts with the Egg. I also tried to add protein to my diet. I am East Asian too. I guess it is cultural/upbringing thing that I eat a large amount vegetables/tofu and very little meat, which doesn't help with the protein situation.
My current priority is to allow my body to recover from the recent failed cycle and do some research. And enjoy trying naturally ;p
That sounds like a good plan LRed . I wish you the very best of luck as well. It's the worst when you get an arrogant consultant, isn't it? Especially as I think there is a certain amount of "art" in IVF and no two clinics' approach are the same. I think I've learnt a lot about letting go of control throughout all of this, and going with the flow - or at least trying to anyway. It's so tough. And a lonely process. I think all we can really do is be kind to our bodies and minds, try the best we can, and then if all else fails, go for Plan B or C and move on with our lives.
I am sorry to know about your failed IVF, it's so frustrating. If you trust your docs, you might try undergoing IVF with own eggs. Myself I know ladies who got pregnant naturally or via IVF OE at the age of 40+, and I also know ladies at the age of 30 who underwent IVF DE. It's not so easy to decide. Depending on your situation, you might want to combine IVF with PGS NGS to increase your chances. Although time factor also plays a huge role here. In my opinion, your doc's role is to explain you all possibilities along with chances of success, time and money you will need so that you can decide what route you would like to go. This post eggdonationfriends.com/ivf-... will also covers pros and cons of infertility treatment for women at 40+. Good luck!
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*Sensitive post. 3rd and final round of IVF, aged 42. Just received first positive pregnancy test ever and i am delighted but so scared. 
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