Fertility therapist or general? - Fertility Network UK

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Fertility therapist or general?

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13

Hey everyone,

I was just wondering for those of you who have sought therapy during your IVF treatment, did you go with a therapist that specialises in fertility or with a generally trained therapist?

Not sure where to look, and my work insurance doesn’t cover anything fertility related including therapy (which is bonkers when it covers all other types of mental health therapy).

I’m central London based, so if you have any recommendations then please can you privately message me?

Thanks xx

19 Replies

Hi,

If you are with a fertility clinic a lot offer therapy during treatment which is free.

I have got therapy both through my work place and talking therapies at various different points of the TTC journey.

Currently work offered therapy which is free for well being and it’s not based on fertility but it has helped taking through things. Sometimes this journey can be very lonely with friends and family who are great but you still feel like your stepping on eggshells at times. So I have found it helpful just talking to someone.

X

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to BluMonkey

My clinic offers counselling too but I just want something totally separate from the clinic really. I would like to talk to someone about how I’m feeling, as through all of this I think I’ve developed social anxiety or at least I’ve become very afraid and a closed off person. I was hoping some professional help may help me through that xx

BluMonkey profile image
BluMonkey in reply to XOXO13

Most boroughs offer talking therapies. You go through an initial consultation with them and they then tell you what you are eligible for.

I completely understand where you are coming from. We have just gone through another MC and have been trying to come to terms with things. I feel like I don’t wanna see anyone at the moment.

However look at how strong we are to be going through this and not giving up hope. You have to remind yourself of all the strength you have x

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to BluMonkey

I’ll look into that, thank you.

I’m so sorry to hear you’re having another miscarriage, it’s totally unfair and just so heartbreaking.

You sound like such a positive and thoughtful person. I really hope things work out for you ♥️ Xx

BluMonkey profile image
BluMonkey in reply to XOXO13

Good luck with it all, as long as there is hope there is something to hold onto. Don’t lose faith x

Hi I have been talking to a general counselor but her background is working as a nurse in an IVF clinic. I've found it really helpful that she already knows the process and terminology so has a good understanding of what I'm saying.

I tried a general therapist through my work first and they really didn't help at all.

It probably depends what you want to discuss with them but for me I feel like I trust what they're saying more when they have knowledge of the process. X

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to E-MD

I’m glad you found her beneficial for you. I tried a therapist after my miscarriage last year and I gave it a good go but just didn’t feel I benefited from it, which is why I thought someone who understands IVF or has a background close to may be helpful.

Definitely worth exploring. There’s so many out there that it’s hard to know where to really start! Xx

If you can get a fertility therapist then I would recommend this. If you can pay then there are therapists available especially in London. I don’t have any recs I’m afraid but if you Google then you will find a selection.

If non paying then I did 2 things. Got some therapy through my clinic. As many as I could before they told me I couldn’t have any more! Then I badgered my GP for fertility specific counselling. I became a bit of a thorn in their side as it’s hard to find on the NHS. However having been to a group therapy session (before Covid obvs) which was a disaster we agreed on individual CBT sessions. My counsellor agreed to focus mainly on IVF as it was the anxiety from that that was infiltrating absolutely everything else in my life. Then I got pregnant and miscarried and she referred me to Petals who are a baby loss charity. Now I speak to my counsellor about once every 3 weeks and only about IVF related stuff and it’s helped enormously. Give your GP a go and see how you go. Good luck xx

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to hifer

Thank you!

I tried a general therapist last year and just didn’t find it as beneficial as it maybe could have been, or maybe I was just in a different mindset then and more closed off to the idea of therapy.

I’ve searched local therapists and there are so many, it’s difficult to know who to go with. I did reach out to a clinic yesterday and they’ve popped me on their wait list for a week for a face-to-face and I’ll continue looking today.

I saw in another post that you made the decision to leave work behind to focus on IVF too? I’ve been thinking the same as I struggle to juggle the intensity of both, but nervous to make the leap in case it’s the wrong thing to do. Do you mind me asking how you felt once you made the decision to leave work? Xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to XOXO13

Re searching for a therapist, often you will be allowed a quick chat with a therapist to see if you think you might be right for each other so you don’t have to really commit until then. I do all of my sessions on zoom so it makes it easier and you don’t have to travel anywhere!

Re work, no I don’t mind you asking at all! I’m in awe of people who can juggle both! My job was so stressful and wasn’t accommodating really of all the appointments so I almost didn’t feel like I had a lot of choice. Sometimes I was at the clinic every day. It was a massive relief to be able to focus solely on IVF. For me it was a full time job. Unfortunately Covid then hit so I’ve been out of work for 2 years in May which isn’t ideal but it is what it is and would do the same thing again. Some people have very flexible jobs or can take a sabbatical or have flexible hours/ flexible boss which means they can do IVF and work but I didn’t have any of those things so felt the best thing to do was leave. If I’d stayed I probs really would have gone mad 🤯😂. The stress of juggling was getting too much. It’s a big decision and I wish you all the best.xx

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to hifer

Thank you so much... I think I’d benefit from some support so hoping I’ll find the right therapist.

I’m sorry your job wasn’t very accommodating - it saddens me really that not all places of business can support a person through this journey, especially if they’ve been dedicated and hard working throughout the time with a company. I really think all businesses should have IVF polices in place to support those going through the journey. I was fortunate enough to take a month unpaid leave this time, but if they had said no I would have been signed off anyway which would have cost the company more money. But given my last transfer didn’t work for me and I have to go again, I just don’t think they’ll allow me more time off so I’m just writing down all of my options. I am also in awe of people who are able to juggle both, as I find it stressful and more so that offices are encouraging people back into the office - given I’ve developed some sort of social anxiety, I’m struggling a lot with that impending fear! Xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to XOXO13

I understand. A lot of people are struggling with the concept of having to go back into an office. For obvious reasons! It’s been so long and you also feel so vulnerable going through IVF so it’s difficult. You don’t want to be around lots of people. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Writing lists of pros and cons and making an informed decision. Good luck xx

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to hifer

Thank you 💙 xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to XOXO13

bica.net/ have at you looked at this site? Good place to start for a counsellor xx

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to hifer

I did yeah, not many are doing F2F at the moment and I really would prefer that as I didn’t find therapy by phone very helpful. I’m being picky I know! Xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to XOXO13

I do mine by zoom. I was sceptical at first but I can honestly say it’s easier. You don’t have to travel anywhere and it’s so convenient and it’s very similar to face to face. I agree counselling via the phone doesn’t really work but zoom/ Skype is brill 👍. It will also really open up your options xx

Hi hun. I have seen a fertility hypnotherapist who is a clinical psychologist too. She is utterly amazing- a beautiful soul and has really helped me on my journey. PM me for details 😘

KateBrian profile image
KateBrianAdministrator

You can find a trained fertility counsellor through the British Infertility Counselling Association. They have a list of all the accredited fertility counsellors in the UK - most do online and telephone counselling. See here - bica.net/find-a-counsellor

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13 in reply to KateBrian

Thank you xx

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