Pregnancy after IVF, infertility and miscarriage

[strawberriesandcream]

Hello all

Since getting my positive result I am really suffering with anxiety and fear of this being taken away from me again.

Can anyone recommend any podcasts or books or general advice for how they handled things?

I have looked online and there doesn’t seem to much that is totally relevant.

Thanks ❤️❤️❤️

[Stewalau]

Hello there, congratulations on your positive pregnancy result. I am in a very similar position and feel very anxious and paranoid like you. I listen to The Finally Pregnant Podcast as it really resonated with me. Hope you find it useful. Good luck.

[minnesota_girl in reply to Stewalau]

I'm going to look at that podcast thanks for the recommendation ☺️

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Stewalau]

Thanks that’s brilliant - just started listening!

[Zebedee1971]

Honestly I don't think anything really can help. You just need to hope for the best and wait it out: try to keep busy, but take care of yourself too. Not the best advice I know, but the only one I have. For me, having scans every 2 weeks was a godsend- gave me something to focus on and eased anxiety for a few days at a time. If you get to 20 weeks, the anxiety eases off a bit, once you can feel movement. Before that it really is just a waiting game. I'm 24 weeks and still don't completely feel out of the woods. Good luck x

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Zebedee1971]

Thanks for the reply. It’s so tough isn’t it. I agree on the keeping busy part, it’s so hard this lockdown isn’t it - wish I could be doing more! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xx

[minnesota_girl]

Hi strawberry, I understand I feel completely the same. I know it sounds cheesy but I'm a writer so I'm doing some mindfulness exercises and also some writing (both a journal and poetry) to help me work through and listen to how I feel. I've been afraid to do that as it makes it real and then I get scared it will be taken away, but I find each day of writing helps me.

I was also thinking of speaking to someone via the clinic in terms of a therapist. I feel that mindfulness is core here, and acceptance that what will be will be, and we don't determine the result. If it doesn't work it won't be our fault.

But it's super hard. I didn't expect it would be after getting the BFP but it's hard to even admit to myself I'm pregnant in this message. 💕💕

[strawberriesandcream in reply to minnesota_girl]

Have sent you a message ❤️

[Bluemxg]

There is a monthly support group as well run by Fertility Network UK with monthly zoom meet ups, the next one is tommorrow. Details here fertilitynetworkuk.org/even... I've found this useful as makes you realise we often have similar worries and fears after a tough fertility journey once you are pregnant.

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Bluemxg]

Thanks so much, I have emailed so hopefully can join tomorrow. Thank you 😊

[Lou9]

There is an amazing book called Pregnancy After Loss by a woman called Zoe Clark-Coates. The author Zoe also runs a charity called Saying Goodbye. She has a great Instagram page @zoeadelle. Unfortunately I didn’t know about her when I fell pregnant with my daughter after previous loss and IVF. X

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Lou9]

Thanks for the recommendation - have just ordered it 👍🏻 Read the intro and sounds like what I need!

[Lou9 in reply to strawberriesandcream]

Great! I bought it for my friend and she said it was really helpful. There’s a nice activity in the book where you colour in part of a love heart for every week of your pregnancy that passes. Hope it helps with your anxiety xx

[ashbb]

I feel similar, you're not alone. I'm 12 weeks today but not had my scan yet. I keep thinking when can i just relax and enjoy this? I have weekly therapy which helps...

Thanks for posting. Going to try some of the other recommendations too. X

Ps. Congratulations!

[strawberriesandcream in reply to ashbb]

Thanks. And to you as well 😘

[L2213]

You definitely aren’t alone. I feel similar and have had a couple of incidences of bleeding which raises anxiety levels each time. The mindful ivf app has first trimester meditations which I’ve found very helpful. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy xxx

[strawberriesandcream in reply to L2213]

Thank you, I’ve been doing those each day and been great so far xxx

[Sparklylife]

Congratulations 🥰 Happy for you and hope you do manage to relax a bit, but it can be very difficult at times 😇

Wishing you all the best!! Xx

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Sparklylife]

Thank you. All the suggestions on here have really helped so I’m getting some good coping strategies in place xxx

[Hope4another]

I totally understand how you feel. I spoke to the clinic counsellor before this cycle and she suggested writing down what made me anxious and then a number for it on a scale of 1-10 and then finding something else to focus on. Activities like puzzles, scrabble or knitting can be really helpful for occupying your brain and hands. X

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Hope4another]

That’s a good idea - I could do with some activities actually - even more so with this never ending lockdown! Thanks

[Tryingtostaycalm]

I don’t have any advice but I wanted to let you know that I feel exactly the same. I think pregnancy after fertility challenges is so hard. I’m constantly afraid of going to the loo incase I see blood 😥.. trying to take each day as it comes which is easier said that done.x

[strawberriesandcream in reply to Tryingtostaycalm]

sorry to hear you’re feeling the same. There are some brilliant ideas on this thread that I’ve started doing so hopefully they will help you too. I feel the same about checking for bleeding...like you say we need to be focus on each day and then those days will turn into weeks xx

[DanABC20]

Congratulations hun, I personally listened to calm app with piano music, I kept repeatedly saying “I am pregnant, it will be ok, it will be healthy, baby will be joining our family this summer” I found when I was in the bath it really just got my breathing under control, and my head on the right space. It helped me. I don’t think the anxiety ever goes away. Big hugs. 😘

[strawberriesandcream in reply to DanABC20]

I defo think there is something about saying it out loud to help you accept it and trust that things will be ok. Thanks for the advice 😘

[DanABC20 in reply to strawberriesandcream]

Big hugs. Hope you manage to ease your anxiety. Hopefully you will feel better once you’ve had your scan 😘