This week was finally my BFP, and although it’s been a long road and there’s a really long way to go, we are delighted. I wasn’t going to share, but I saw someone asking for over 40s success stories, so hope this helps!
I did have a massive advantage this time, it was our 5th IVF after MC, but second with donor eggs and with great results. In 3 years, I have gone from having a full on panic attack and running from the room when the consultant clumsily first mentioned doner eggs, to embracing the amazing gift someone has donated to an anonymous egg bank for us. I am usually very considered and hold it together, but something about donated eggs pushed all my buttons when it was first mentioned, I was 100% against it. It was a long personal process to re-frame my own thinking.
There were a few epiphany moments with my SO though that I wanted to share. Because while I was worrying about the future 20 years out, not knowing one side of a family medical history, what and when to tell a child, how would my side of the family feel not being genetically connected etc he was seeing the bigger picture.
I asked my wonderful SO how he felt about donated eggs. His exact (and only) words on donation and mixing his genes with an anonymous doner? “So long as I get to have a baby with you, I don’t care if we get it off the street!”
When we started down that road, I asked again, what’s your biggest concern “that it works and we have a baby”.
This week, when I’d done all my positive tests, and we’d shared a victory hug, I asked again, does the fact the egg was donated matter to you today?
“It hadn’t even entered my head” 💕 👶🏻 🤞🏼
Written by
McrLass
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Such an amazing story. I am so so happy for you and your OH. Honestly is great to hear such happy news after the struggles to get to this point. Wishing you the best of luck with the next stage of your journey.
Thankyou, it’s still sinking in, there’ll be many more tests accumulating in the bathroom, especially as no visitors during lockdown 😉. Never get tired of seeing 2 lines. Best wishes to you xx
Thankyou, I hope this helps someone who needs it today xx best wishes to you
This is such a lovely post, it sounds like you are bringing a baby into a supportive loving family, don't doubt yourself, this is 100% your baby. This brought a big smile to my face too as I have a drawer full of tests, my husband said we could have made a cot out of them the amount I've gone through 🙈
Congratulations and all the best with your pregnancy xx
I will never throw a positive test away 😁, not even from a MC, because it represents a joy that was felt and valued! I hadn’t really thought of us as a family, now you made me cry 😉😘 #hormones
So pleased for you!!! Your SO sounds like an amazing person too!! It’s your turn for some luck and a little person to share life with!! 🥰🥰 beautiful news! X
Congratulations, and what a wonderful story! You’re right, it’s lovely to hear success in the over 40s. I’m just going through IVF round 2 at the minute - I’m 41 and the chances of success with my own eggs are so slim that I’ve recently been thinking about donor eggs too. Do you mind if I ask how you went about it? My clinic tells me there’s an 18 month+ waiting list here for DE, and going abroad at the minute seems beyond difficult what with all the restrictions on flying, isolation etc, I honestly don’t think I could manage that on top of a really full on job. However you’ve done it, it’s marvellous and I wish you all the best for your pregnancy xx
Thankyou for your kind thoughts. The hardest bit for me was that same as you, chances were slim but still there. Being ‘unexplained’ was the most unhelpful thing in making a decision to ‘give up’ on my own eggs, which is how I saw it.Understanding that it was more about choosing to go for the best odds, right now, as I’m 42 already, took a while!
I am with Care, they have a donation team to speak to and they connect with a central egg bank where the wait time was about 6weeks both times (we’ve had 2 doner sets of eggs). First time (before COVID kicked in), only 1 (Out of 6 eggs) was viable for embryo transfer, I was gutted and it shook me a bit.
Second time (during COVID) there were a LOT less doner sets to choose from. However This time 4 out of 8 turned into great top quality embryos, so we have 3 left to freeze.
With our jobs, we couldn’t really have gone abroad either. If I hadn’t managed to get a good clinic and finance package here I would have had to contemplate a break from work to go abroad, but that would have been so hard with COVID.
Good luck in whatever you decide, I’m sure you’ll find a way xx PM me if you want more detail
Thanks so much, I really appreciate that. Definitely looking into that in case this cycle fails - like you we’re unexplained as well so I know where you’re coming from when you talk about giving up on your own eggs. It’s not my preference but being realistic, DE might be the only way this will work for us x
Congratulations that is wonderful news! I really hope you have a great pregnancy and mother and baby healthy. Thank you for sharing your story about your journey with donor eggs too... A baby is such a miracle.... I struggled with it for a while but I remember straight after my failed IVF in October thinking if someone had left a baby on my doorstep and the government said I keep them... It would have not been a second thought... Do you mind sharing which clinic and donor egg bank you used? Xx
What an amazing way to think about it! I also had some lovely advice from a doner when I last posted on here about egg donation worries. That helped me so much, because I imagined my doner saying the same words xx my clinic was Care, they link to their own frozen egg bank I think
Dear McrLass, congratulations to you and your OH! I am 49 and 13wc pregnant with donor egg. I can relate to your inner struggles and worries but I found peace knowing that some one is looking out for us and knowing our struggles decided to graciously be a donor and help us to start having our own families. It gave me hope in the IVF journey. I wish you all the best with your precious gift that is being loved from day one by you and your family. Congratulations!!!!!
Well then you’re my new inspiration as I’m 9 weeks behind! Wishing you oodles of love and good luck with the rest of your bump time and then motherhood! X
Congratulations I’m also over 40 3weeks and 4 days post egg donor transfer with a positive pregnancy test 4th cycle but 1st with donor so I know exactly how your feeling right now xx
So delighted for you ❤️. I'm just startng my IVF with donor egg journey. Hubby and I have just about go our heads around not being able to use my own eggs, but I'm 44 this month so sadly its just too late for us. Donors are such wonderful humans and a baby anyway is amazing. no doubt he/she will be your baby. Congrats again x
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