Has anyone been for a transfer without your partner and any tips to make them feel part of it all?

[Twiglet2]

Hi everyone, really strange question but I had the amazing news today that my lining is thick enough for our frozen embryo transfer to go ahead next week. Due to Scottish government CoVid restrictions it will be a single embryo transfer only and my wife won’t be able to attend the hospital at all. We have had 6 IUIs so far and 2 embryo transfers (1fresh and 1 frozen) the last one ending in a chemical pregnancy in Feb And she has been to them all.

Obviously we are both delighted to be having the transfer as most of the ladies at the clinic are still left in limbo but I can tell she is gutted she can’t come. With it obviously being donor sperm it’s really important for her to feel part of it and I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this position with their partner unable to attend and any tips to make sure she doesn’t feel excluded. I will be nervous in on my own but not as worried about that part so much more the inclusion of my wife in this step of our journey if that makes sense ☺️ Xx

[Nat246]

Hi that’s exciting you have your transfer lined up! My partner wasn’t allowed in recently too. They felt involved by driving us there on time, being there as soon as I left the building, making dinner and doing the errands so I could rest and keep emby safe! The clinic might give you a print out of the transfer or you could ask to take a video/pic on your phone too. Good luck!

[Twiglet2 in reply to Nat246]

Aww thanks so much for your advice. we are very excited/nervous ☺️ Yeah I think I will ask about the pic/video in my phone. I thought I might sound silly to ask but if this is the one that works I might regret it if I don’t lol xx

[Nat246 in reply to Twiglet2]

I’ve found nhs don’t all provide pics but private clinics always do. Yes definitely ask, anyone with a heart would happily let you take one! Xx

[MumofaSpaniel]

twiglet, me too!!! I’m in on Saturday and would love to get a picture of the embryo for my husband who will be sitting in the car park! X

[Twiglet2 in reply to MumofaSpaniel]

Aww amazing very excited for you! 🥰🤞🏽Let me know what they say about the pic will you? ☺️ Xx

[MumofaSpaniel in reply to Twiglet2]

Hi Twiglet! I am now PUPO 🥳

Sad news, they won’t allow you to take a picture of the embryo but they didn’t even show me the embryo today do you changes in policy. I cried a lot when they told me but I had such hi hopes that I would get to see it. Hopefully that you know now you can try do something else to Mark the occasion!

Best of luck xxx

[Twiglet2 in reply to MumofaSpaniel]

Aww amazing news on the transfer 🤗 I know you had some troubles before so delighted it went well for you and now the 2WW begins eeeek! ☺️

Uch that’s a wee bit 💩 about the embryo Pic and visual but I guess that means both of the partners are missing out on seeing it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Silver lining and all that!🙈Thanks so much for preparing me for that news before I go in massively appreciated lovely 🤗💕 xx

[MumofaSpaniel in reply to Twiglet2]

Not a problem! Take care xx

[KiboXX]

Hi Twiglet,

How exciting for your transfer!

I had mine back in January and my husband couldn’t be there as he got sent away for work but they took a picture of the embryo going in for him and then the embryologist sent us a lovely email with a close pic of the embryo and lots of details about it. He’s a bit of a nerd so he loved that 😂

As gutting as it was that he couldn’t come, we felt so lucky to be having a transfer at all and once we found out it was successful, all that faded away!xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to KiboXX]

Aww brilliant, yeah you’re right if this is the one that works I’m sure we won’t care how we got there but I know it will be hard for her as she wanted to say to the child she was there every step of the way. That’s so brilliant the hospital did that for you xx

[KiboXX in reply to Twiglet2]

That completely makes sense, I would explain that to the clinic and see if they will let you FaceTime her in the room. Never hurts to ask!x

[Beechnut1]

My last transfer I went alone and it resulted in my beautiful boy who is 11 months old. My partner planted a tree in the garden the same time of the transfer. Both baby and apple tree are doing very well nearly 2 years later 😂 good luck with your transfer 💕

[Twiglet2 in reply to Beechnut1]

Oh my goodness that is absolutely adorable! 😭😭 I will absolutely suggest this and congratulations on our little boy xx

[Olivia11]

Hi our appointment was in the afternoon so we took the day off and had a nice lunch together just before the transfer. He waited in the waiting room and the embryologist printed a few photos of the embryo transfer. This transfer was an NHS cycle and I think because of the unusual circumstances we are in now, if they don't offer a photo, am sure they will give you one so your wife doesn't feel she has missed out. Wishing you both all the best X X x

[Twiglet2 in reply to Olivia11]

Thank you soo much, it would be really good if they did xx

[Hope76]

Hi am getting ready for my 7th transfer, my DF has been at every single one. Feels so strange him not coming to this one as he is my rock. So totally feel your pain. 7 is his lucky number so am hoping god is there even if my partner can’t be x

[Twiglet2 in reply to Hope76]

Aww that is a lovely way to think of it ☺️ Lots of luck with your transfer Xx

[London_Lady1]

Firstly great news your at this point. Such great news!

Defo get a pic printed of the transfer, although I can't personally see anything on it, but I pointed out the spot to my hubby. The embryologist also emailed the pics of all our little embryos (3 of them) under the microscope.

Wishing you and your partner all the luck in the world xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to London_Lady1]

Aww thanks so much I don’t see anything on the screen either but she already does 😂 will defo ask and thanks for the luck, every little bit of luck helps/needed 🤞🏽🤗 Xx

[Peanutchips]

Congratulations on having a date for your transfer! I also wasn’t allowed my partner with me, however he was able to come into the building and we could sit together before and after. It was a little disappointing but over so quickly I didn’t mind too much. Perhaps do something nice together afterwards to mark the occasion? All the best with it xxx 😘

[Twiglet2 in reply to Peanutchips]

Yes I think something after will be nice to do. Hope all progressing well for you 🤗 xx

[Peanutchips in reply to Twiglet2]

Thanks Twiglet, all going ok for now (I hope!) 🤞🏻 xx

[UnicornKisses]

Hi there,

I had two separate transfers, both during which my husband could not attend. It is a tough situation, because the partners feel pretty left-out to begin with. But I called him immediately after, and texted him some pictures, which I do believe helped. I am 21 weeks pregnant, and he has yet to be allowed at any of the appointments. The concept of making him feel included has been a challenge throughout this whole process. Best of luck to you ❤️

[Twiglet2 in reply to UnicornKisses]

Aww congratulations and thank you for replying. I guess no one imagined this situation and that in itself is a story to tell your little one in years to come! I will definitely be on the text until I leave my phone in the room xx

[Lw1311]

I was on the phone to my wife as they did my transfer. Sent her lots of photos of that was going on too

[Twiglet2 in reply to Lw1311]

Aww really! That’s amazing. Can’t imagine them letting us do that but I will ask ☺️ Xx

[Luna_79]

Ah think this is so lovely some really lovely ideas and suggestions, I know what you mean up until the transfer ,going to the scans and partner not being there have been fine but feel for them not being able to be there at transfer, similar to above we plan to have a nice morning together then drive to the hosp together, love the idea of planting a tree, hope you get to take some pictures for your wife 🤞 xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to Luna_79]

Thank you 😊 its tough isn’t it but I guess it’s just one more touch step in a journey that will all be worth it in the end for us I’m sure 🤞🏽Xx