Need to vent : Hello all, I’m new to... - Fertility Network UK

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Need to vent

Aussie83 profile image
24 Replies

Hello all, I’m new to this site and am abit nervous to post for the first time but I see how you all support each other and it’s lovely.

I’ve had one unsuccessful ICSI in January.

My 2nd round FET was cancelled because of lockdown.

I wondered if you’re clinics have been good at communicating during all of this and about reopening?

Mine hasn’t in my opinion. And considering the founder has been on tv a lot over this I’m surprised. No email updates, I just had to go back on Facebook, which I deactivated due to triggers, to get any information!

But then they called me Monday and gave me hope I could start next week when period due but told me I had to call once it was confirmed they were reopening. Well, now I’ve spent the rest of the week emailing and calling and I’m getting no response whatsoever!

I feel like they gave me hope just to take it away again. I feel like they have my life, and so may others, in their hands and we just have to sit back and wait. We’re all so fragile with infertility. Why can’t we be like other people who can conceive naturally and not have to rely on strangers to help them 🥺

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Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83
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24 Replies

Im sorry Aussie. But literally join the club. Both on the forum as in waiting for this cruel time to be over. I had zero comms with my clinic and it seems now i have to wait another few months as they start working on the backlog from next week when they probably start the work. Is your clinic open again? I was told to keep ringing every month i get my period but to expect it to last a few months. X

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to

Ahh I’m sorry for you too! I know so many of us are in the same boat.

It’s so bloody unfair being infertile and then to have this unfairness on top now. I do not understand why they can’t communicate better with their patients!

Yes my clinic in London is now open but it seems they are all talk no action. I’ve given up for now!

My fingers are crossed for you that they get you in ASAP x

Cdwen profile image
Cdwen

Yes! Not heard a single thing from my NHS clinic re my cancelled FET. They don’t even update their website. It is torturous. Feeling so angry/helpless. I hope you get some answers soon. I’d be fuming xxx

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Cdwen

I’m so sorry for you too! It’s so unfair the way we’re not being properly updated. Yes that’s it’s - angry and helpless are the emotions doing the rounds! I hope you hear from your clinic soon too 🤞x

Cdwen profile image
Cdwen in reply to Aussie83

The latest from my clinic after pushing them for clarity: 'Unfortunately the unit is still in discussion in how to resume service. We are not able at the moment to inform patients on when they can start their treatment as yet'

This summer or bloody autumn and do you have a date when you can start informing patients when they can start the treatment?!!!! GAAAHHHHHHH

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Cdwen

Oh that’s so shit!!! are you private or nhs?

Nat246 profile image
Nat246

Yes wish we could just all be like normal people, it’s heart breaking and now it’s just one thing after another!

We are all such strong people though, got to keep going! X

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Nat246

Yes we do x

ttcemmie profile image
ttcemmie

My clinic has been awful! Phone still turned off. Slow responses. Surely they should have a list ready for when they restart - contact everyone and tell them when they are starting! This is literally the most important thing going on in my life right now (as sad as that is) and feels crazy that the communication and compassion isn't there.

And I hear you on how not fair it is that we even have to go through this journey. 😢😢😢

cggregory profile image
cggregory in reply to ttcemmie

I’m right there with you!! My clinic has been sending the odd email update...not as many as I would like, but enough to make me feel confident they had a plan. In one of the latest updates, they said that if the HFEA gave them the green light to restart this week, then treatments would start next week (w/c 18 May). They were one of the first on the HFEA list on Monday, so I was really excited. My cycle was cancelled right before it was about to start, so I should be near the top of the list. I hadn’t had a call from them this week so I decided to be proactive and ring them. It turns out that they still have too many doctors who are redeployed for COVID to start IVF treatments. The receptionist couldn’t give me any sense of a timeline for when IVF would start again (I asked if if could be weeks or months and she said she didn’t know). I can’t believe their email promised a start on w/c 18 March when this is the case. Clearly things can change, but they should have managed expectations in their initial email. And I shouldn’t have to chase them to get the real story. Argh 😤

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to cggregory

I’m really sorry ☹️ I can see why you’re fuming, you shouldn’t have to chase them no!! Not knowing when they might even start..I have no words for how unfair that is x

ttcemmie profile image
ttcemmie in reply to cggregory

That's awful, cggregory. 🙁 It's really hard not having a plan and not even knowing when treatment will start again. In fact, it's the same position we've all been in since lockdown!! Sorry you're in this position. I agree on the communication-front. Clinics should be telling everyone what's happening (they know exactly who their clients are already). x

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to ttcemmie

It’s not sad at all, it’s our futures. Sounds like most of them are being pretty awful. They should be emailing all their patients each week to update, not expecting us to chase them x

Kurstx profile image
Kurstx

I’ve not had any news from my nhs clinic in Scotland either. The only information I have is from a woman on the clinics fb page saying she had spoken to a member of staff and had been advised it’s could be days, weeks or months before treatments start back up. 😢 I totally understand that doctors and nurses have been deployed to help with the covid 19 situation but not knowing how long it will be is so hard I’m trying to stay positive but it’s not easy with nothing to go on. 😩🙏 xxx

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Kurstx

Yes it’s not easy, it’s heartbreaking! But you’re strong and just remember all you’ve endured so far. I hope it’s not far away for you x

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks

Mine literally just keep saying “check the website”..... thanks guys!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Elfine profile image
Elfine

Hi,

I'm totally there with you. I've checked in the HFEA website. They have a list that they update every day with the names of the clinics that have been authorised for opening. My clinic is opened, they've sent the drugs for my FET but even after explicitly asking if I have to start to the drugs once I get my period, they haven't answered.

I was wondering if clinics in general were like this. Unfortunately, it's the only clinic that does the whole treatment here. They've deemed to be excellent but they are not patient friendly. Really bad communication strategy.

Sorry, I'm venting along with you heheh

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Elfine

That sounds so similar to my situation! Why give us this hope and then ignore us?!

It does sound like a lot of them are bad at communication.. You’d think given the industry they’re in, they’d be abit more empathetic to us 🤷🏻‍♀️

We’ve all gotta vent hey!!

Sarahjanea88 profile image
Sarahjanea88

Hi Aussie

I’m in a really similar situation to you, I had a failed ICSI in February and was a a couple of days away from starting medication for a FET before I got the dreaded call that it had been cancelled, I got a call from my clinic last week saying when they were re open I would get a call and could start on the first day of my next period (due in the next few days) I have been frantically updating the page looking for my clinic to appear and it was approved yesterday but I never got a call, I’m praying they are working today and will call (but I doubt it). It’s so frustrating when you just want to know what’s happening.

All I keep trying to tell myself is that there are so many Women in the same boat and to be patient (easier said than done some times)

I really hope you hear from them soon 🤞🏼Xx

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Sarahjanea88

That does sound so similar, I’m really sorry. The hardest thing is having gotten that bit of hope from them isn’t it! Be so great if you hear from them today, 🤞 for you.

I didn’t hear from mine yesterday either. My period due Any day now so I’ve given up on this month now. I really feel like emailing them on Monday to say how disappointed I am in their lack of response - even if it was just to say I can’t start, it’s nicer than nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Vegemite profile image
Vegemite

I’ve heard nothing from my clinic at all, however I’m really good acquaintances with my nurses and admin, so they let me know personally...

I had a crap time too and over stimulated yet again with my last collection in March, so I missed out on another fresh implantation. But with hindsight I’m lucky, as a week later I got Covid to a really scary point -“wholly shit-panic stations”...

Here’s hoping for some positive news for all us ladies xx

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to Vegemite

That’s great the nurses and admin keep you up to date.

Sorry to hear you’ve had such a rough time recently. Hoping you’re better now x

AmyR15 profile image
AmyR15

its heart breaking , Ive had nothing from mine at all, i had a failed transfer in march then recieved no follow up discussion with the consultant at all so was completely left with no answers to any of the burning questions i had i eventually contacted the councillors and got a bit of informaion but still waiting. i find this group amazing and e everyone is always so supportive and has advice.

Try and stay positive and all we can do is hope that things will get better xx

Aussie83 profile image
Aussie83 in reply to AmyR15

Thanks Amy.

That’s really terrible you didn’t get the after care you should have, they could still have done this by video surely. Sorry your transfer was unsuccessful, it’s sucks doesn’t it.

Really hope things get easier for all of us soon x

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