Same sex couple and IVF

[CC2012]

Hi I am just wondering if there is any lesbian couples who have no fertility problems and who have been through ivf after going through iui and a miscarriage..Myself and my wife have been on this journey for 5 years..We’ve had 4 natural iui then 3 medicated iui..We got our first positive test on the 3rd medicated iui but sadly miscarried at 7 weeks which was a couple of weeks before lockdown..Were on the list for ivf which was going to be a 6 to 8 month wait but is now looking more a year because of covid..Were absoluteley heart broken💔 like many others..Looking for some uplifting stories

[Tray81]

We are also a lesbian couple. We didn’t have IUI and went straight to IVF. We are private with no known fertility problems so didn’t qualify for any assistance from the NHS. We had our first cycle in November which was a disaster then a second in February which resulted in a BFP then I had a miscarriage on the day the lockdown started at about 7 weeks.

We have a video consultation next week in preparation for the clinic reopening hopefully mid/late June

[CC2012 in reply to Tray81]

Aww I’m so sorry it’s so hard especially with all this going on it just isn’t helping..That’s really good news things are starting to go ahead again soon..What clinic are you at..We’re at the Glasgow royal infirmary..Did you get implanted on the first ivf?

[Sarah_rich19]

We are a same sex couple. We had x3 unsuccessful iui treatment so moved onto ivf eventhough no known medical issues. Our first fresh ivf didn't work but our frozen embryo worked and I'm now 9 weeks. We still have one more in the freezer. We only had 6 viles of sperm from our donor so we realised iui was using it all at once. At least with ivf we got 3 eggs with one vile so felt we were giving ourselves more chances. Ivf isn't cheap private so it's been a hard journey.

[CC2012 in reply to Sarah_rich19]

Congratulations to you both..Was your iui medicated? I can imagine how hard money wise it is for you on private as we had to do that our first two tries but we are now on the nhs as the laws changed in Scotland in 2017..We still have to pay for the sperm though which is still a lot of money..We have 2 sperm viles left but I’m not sure if they do the same and not waste a vile each time on nhs..Weve not been able to get any information as we just got put on the ivf list before lock down 💔

[Sarah_rich19 in reply to CC2012]

Yes all was medicated. Luckily being private meant we didn't have a waiting list, we went back to back iui to ivf which was a whole different process and I didn't expect it to be so different. I didn't cope well with egg retrieval and considering they collected 10 eggs only 3 made it to day 5. We had our donor shipped from America which on reflection we were mad as the cost was crazy. The one thing I liked about ivf is that the chances were higher, we had icsi as well, we also had embryo glue and additional lubion injections to help with my projestrone levels, I liked knowing I wasn't hanging everything on that one chance as I had 2 frozen (however this is not the case for some people) I don't know it just felt less like fate and more like medical assisted chances. Our clinic were great and it was strange saying bye. We were very lucky as I had the embryo put back in 2 days before lockdown. Before going into it I knew nothing about ivf and I'm not going to lie is a hard emotional roller-coaster, more than I ever imagined.

[CC2012 in reply to Sarah_rich19]

Yeh the waiting is so so hard after already trying for so long and then thinking we had done it to then lose the baby..Not an easy journey at all for you but worth every penny..Nice to see people having there happy ending..I don’t think we will get any of the embryo glue and stuff on nhs..The whole thing is just such an emotional rollercoaster very hard indeed but we just have to keep fighting for our dream

[HelenJudi1 in reply to CC2012]

I was with a private clinic and they didn’t recommend the embryo glue. They said they use it when people ask for it but they haven’t seen any clear results (in their clinic) that indicate that it makes a huge difference. So, based on that we chose not to use it. I was grateful that the embryologist was so honest as we would have paid for it... made us feel like they were looking out for us and not just after more money... if that makes sense? xx

[Twiglet2]

Hey 👋🏼 sorry to hear about your miscarriage and now this delay is just rubbish isn’t it😥 we had 3 natural IUIs and then 3 medicated before we were put in the NHS IVF wait list (Scotland) All the pre IUI tests showed no fertility issues. The IVF went quicker than the 9-12 months we were told but a lot of paperwork when we did make the top of the list that sets you back a month or 2 more). Our first fresh cycle in January last year with one embryo didn’t work but we got 5 embryos frozen too. I had to stop for 9months. as my smear came back pre cancerous cells so had treatment but got the all clear in. November and had first medicated frozen cycle start of this year where I pushed for 2 embryos to be transferred. It worked but we miscarried at 6weeks end of feb. I asked to do a natural FET in March and I was days away from ovulation and had an appointment at 7am the day the clinic shut to check my hormones so they phoned me the night before to cancel 😭 a few more days and I would have had another go after the miscarriage 🙄 blooming annoying as that focus was helping me through the loss of the first pregnancy this year! I hope the wait list doesn’t take too much longer for you and at least you are on there and have your space in the queue 🤗 I think everyone is just on pause just now so everyone’s journey should have the same amount of delay if that makes sense? xx

[CC2012 in reply to Twiglet2]

Aww yous have been through a rough time aswell so sorry..Yeh I think we thought we could just go straight on to ivf like you do your next iui and that would help with the greaving process but now your just left heart broken 💔 and just want to get started again..Yeh we’re just all on hold really just waiting for them to press go/ Are you at the GRI ?

[Twiglet2 in reply to CC2012]

The waiting is the hardest part!! It’s worse than the failed cycles Sometimes as you feel like your just in limbo 🙄 yeah GRI been about 5 years now since we started all this so feel a bit of regular there 😂🙈 xx

[CC2012 in reply to Twiglet2]

I totally agree the waiting is just awful drives you in sane some times..Lol Aww you will do we’re a bit like that now aswell been so long 🙈 Got to say though the staff are all amazing which helps a bit..Xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to CC2012]

Yeah they are lovely, a nurse local to me even brought me some injections to my home during the beast from the east snow storm last year 🥰 I know they will do what they can to help get us back up and running. If I hear anything from them I will let you know 🤞🏽Xx

[CC2012 in reply to Twiglet2]

Aww wow that was really nice they always seem to go over and above..Thank you that would be great hopefully hear something soon 🤞xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to CC2012]

Ps saw you were talking about the glue above- GRI don’t do it (or the scratch) as there is no proven evidence it works (yet) xx

[CC2012 in reply to Twiglet2]

That’s really good to hear..You just seem to worry your missing out on something that could help that others can get but not on the nhs ..Xx

[Sarah_rich19 in reply to CC2012]

Oh yeah don't buy the glue, ours came with it. We took out an ivf package which was a set price, glue, X2 cycles and unlimited frozen transfer. There is no proven evidence that it helps but I thought hey why not

[Rainbowdreams82]

We are also a same sex couple. My wife and I have been going through this process for a year and a half and it’s definitely an emotional roller coaster. Had 6 iuis and was about to start round 1 of IVF before lockdown happened. Feel in limbo. All our closest friends and family are all either currently pregnant or just given birth. It’s been tough. Keep fingers crossed that IVF will start again soon and one day we will get our wee family we long for so much. Great to talk to others in similar situation xx

[CC2012 in reply to Rainbowdreams82]

Yeh it’s not an easy journey at all for us all..We’re the same close family and friends all had there baby’s..It’s very hard but yeh we just need to keep fighting for our dream and never give up..What hospital are yous at? Dose really help to speak to people in a similar situation xx

[HelenJudi1]

Hello... we are a lesbian couple and in Scotland. We tried IUIs a total of four times and after all negatives we chose to move on to ivf. I was High risk for OHSS so I was only given the option of a ‘freeze all’.

I had my egg retrieval in August last year and then on a natural cycle in October I had one of our 5 day blastocysts transferred. We had a total of 3, 5 day blasts from the retrieval. One (the one we used) was the best grade and the others not so good but still good enough to freeze (very grateful for this). So we have two still frozen...

We fortunately got our BFP at the end of October and I am 31 weeks tomorrow. We were / are over the moon that ivf worked first time for us and apart from the egg retrieval it was just naturally following my cycle which was great too...

All of our treatment has been private and with buying the sperm on top, it hasn’t been the cheapest of journeys but I’m not dwelling on that now...

good luck with your ivf! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

[CC2012 in reply to HelenJudi1]

What a lovely story..Thank you so so much and all the best for the arrival of your little one x

[HelenJudi1 in reply to CC2012]

Thank you!

Good luck with your journey... ivf is completely different to IUIs. I was surprised just how different to be honest... please, keep us posted x

[LadyM2019]

Hey! Just wondering if anyone has any updates? We're also a same sex couple on this journey! We did 6 IUI from 2018 - 2019. Unfortunately they were all negative. Our first round of IVF was last September. We got 5 Blastocysts so our 4BA was transferred but the others didn't meet NHS criteria for freezing. I bled early at 7dp5dt. Our second round of IVF was better as we got 3 Blastocysts. They transferred one and froze 2. Sadly, I started bleeding again at 7dp5dt.

I've an endometrial scratch booked for later this month. I'll also be taking a shed load of progesterone when they do the FET in August!! So here's hoping!!

[CC2012 in reply to LadyM2019]

Hi thanks for sharing your story..Hopefully everything will go well for you both this time round fingers crossed..Weve just had our first phone appointment about 4 weeks ago just letting us know what ivf entails and how they are working down the list..They said that they were doing all Frozen transfers first but aren’t sure when they will be able to start fresh egg collection and transfer as they don’t have any anesthetisers available due to covid..We had a 6 month wait just as lock down happened so adding a few months on to that when everyone was on hold..Looks like maybe December for us..Absolutely devistated having to wait all that time after our first positive test and then miscarriage at 7 weeks but nothing we can do but try stay positive..Are you at the same clinic as me? Did you decide to have the scratch your self or was it recommended?

[LadyM2019 in reply to CC2012]

Ah I'm so sorry you're having to wait this long. There is so much 'waiting around' with these treatments. I find it incredibly frustrating so I can only imagine how you and your partner are feeling.

We're not with Glasgow Royal. We're in the North East, but we've had a second opinion from a private clinic in London as our NHS clinic are not able to test progesterone as part of the NHS package.. All of this costs a small(!) fortunate doesn't it.

The NHS clinic are doing the scratch. At our review, they suggested it was an option so we decided to go ahead with it.

I hope things move forward quickly for you .

[CC2012 in reply to LadyM2019]

Thank you aww I know it’s just awful to go through.I didn’t know they could check progesterone do they think that’s what’s wrong? Hope they can find some answers for you..Yeh the amount of money didn’t help stress matters..What do they look for with the scratch? Sorry for all the questions 🙈

[LadyM2019 in reply to CC2012]

I know, and I thought this would all be straight forward because my results were good! Ah no worries re questions I don't mind. It's good to see same sex couples speaking up about their experiences. I didn't find much information online when I started this journey 18 months ago.

Well basically I've been told by my NHS consultant and the consultant in London that the sucess rate is about 50% with every blastocyst transfer. So if my progesterone is increased to stop the early bleeding then I should hopefully stand a chance of falling into the lucky 50%!

Bleeding only 7dp5dt is early. Pregnancy test date for us is 12dp5dt. So I'll never make it to test date if I keep bleeding. We spoke to the NHS consultant about our worries of early bleeding. My wife asked him if it would be worth checking my progesterone levels and he said the clinic don't offer that test right now.

The private consultant said bleeding 7 days post transfer is indicative of low progesterone so he has prescribed extra for us. I will also get my progesterone tested privately (locally) and the result sent to this clinic.

In my IUI cycles I never made it to pregnancy test date either - I always started bleeding a couple of days early.

We've got everything crossed the extra progesterone/scratch helps! People say just relax, don't stress it'll make things worse. It's so hard not to worry though. I do lots of things to take IVF off my mind (cycling, walking, seeing friends) but it's always there somewhere in my mind. I guess this might be true for a lot of others too.

[CC2012 in reply to LadyM2019]

Yeh it’s nice to hear other people’s stories and experiences gives some hope and comfort your not alone..That’s good to know about the progesterone will keep that in mind..Yeh it’s just so hard not to stress..When my wife fell pregnant on iui number 5 we were probably stressed more than we have ever been as she had just had a car accident the week before so that gave me hope that it can still happen no mater how you feel x

[Twiglet2 in reply to LadyM2019]

FET soon for us too 😊 It was meant to be a natural one in March but because of COVID restrictions on capacity everyone’s in our clinic has to be constructed now so I’m going for prostrap tomorrow to down reg with transfer likely mid August if all goes well. Let the crazy hormones begin again 🙈 the wife cannot wait 😂 looks like we might be FET cycle buddies xx

[LadyM2019 in reply to Twiglet2]

Haha oh I know I warned my partner that the estrogen may make me a bit sensitive!! Yeah we might well end up having our transfers anout the same time! Mine should be around 3rd week of August. Exciting times! 😁

[Cook7786]

Hey!

Same sex couple over here too 😘 We started IUI to begin with but our first round got cancelled due to over stimulation on a low dose so our consultant advised to completely skip IUI - which was a bit daunting at the time with cost implications.

We then decided to go ahead with the egg share programme - but at the time of retrieval they didn’t manage to retrieve enough eggs in order to share.

They retrieved 7 - however they were all mature and we had one transferred and one frozen. I’m now 36 weeks pregnant (and counting) so it really does work and it only takes the one!

If you need any advise on anything, please don’t hesitate to chuck me a message.

Sending you all good luck to get your family growing.

Xx

[CC2012]

That’s amazing you are both so so lucky..I can’t wait to start ivf but I’m terrified when we start that my wife has another miscarriage..Weve had the roughest time this year not just fertility but my wife has just been through everything going a serious car crash then fell pregnant the week after on iui to then miscarry at 7 weeks to then be told we had to go on a waiting list for 6 months for ivf then covid turned that in to a 9 month to a year wait then she developed an 5 cm abscess on her kidney from a serious kidney infection which may have been caused by the miscarriage or a condition you can get from being pregnant..Soent a week in hospital and nearly got septicaemia from the infection..She was so ill and now today is her first hospital appointment to have a scan see if the abscess is gone..Here’s hoping our luck is going to seriously change and she’s on the mend and we can try keep going until ivf starts..

[CC2012]

Update wife’s abscess is completely gone and no damage to kidney or any sign where the drain had been put in..Now to finally focus on being ivf fit and healthy and be kind to our self..#One thing less to worry about 🤗

[Twiglet2 in reply to CC2012]

Amazing news so happy she got the all clear and you can both begin your journey again! The royal had a webinar yesterday and it seems like they are moving through the people on the wait list including fresh cycles now And nhs and private being treated equally so hopefully It won’t be too long until you reach the top of the waiting list 🤗 xx

[CC2012 in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you so much was a huge relief..Did they Aww that’s great..Thank you for letting us know they are starting to do fresh cycles maybe it will be a bit sooner than we thought to get started 🤗x

[AshScot03]

Hi,

Same sex couple here too

Me & my partner went straight into IVF (Private clinic) as my partner was a donor and I’m carrying. This was the only way to do it for what we wanted.

Currently on our 2nd cycle. 1st cycle- 2 fresh embryos transferred and 1 FET. Both times negative results.

2nd cycle we got a lot more eggs, managed to get 8 frozen after our fresh transfer which was also unsuccessful.

Currently on our 2ww, with our 1st FET. Anxiously waiting, and most frustrating part of the process is seemingly no issues just the luck of the draw.

Fingers crossed for everyone!

[CC2012]

Wishing you both lots of luck and fingers crossed x

[AshScot03 in reply to CC2012]

Wishing you lots of luck too and hope you can get started again soon! 🤞It’s nice to be part of a forum with people who are going through similar experiences. I never expected this to be such an emotional rollercoaster! Maybe I was a bit naive....xx

[CC2012]

Thank you so much..Yeh I think we’re all a bit like that and the longer you try for the worse it gets aswell..We started trying 5 years ago private then we decided to save and get married after 2 failed IUI ..It took us a long time to save after that as we didn’t realise how much it still cost on the nhs..Been trying again for a year..Although we lost our baby and it’s still so hard that that happened after a long time trying and so much money..We just need to take it as a huge positive that we got pregnant and hopefully we will have our rainbow baby one day soon..X

[LadyM2019]

Hello! Where is everyone at now? I wonder how is everyone getting on? We've just had a chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks so back to the drawing board! We're shattered. We have one frozen embryo left at our NHS clinic but we're having a consultation with a clinic in London early December. Going for a second opinion/discuss freezing wifes embryos! Hope everyone is getting on ok!

[CC2012]

Hi LadyM we’re not doing too good at all..So fed up of waiting..We were just told last week that the waiting list for ivf has just been held back another 4 months so looks like it could now be a 16 month or more wait..We were absolutely devistated..Whole life is just on hold..Was extra tough going past what would have been our due date aswell..So so sorry about your chemical pregnancy it’s just so hard..

[Melonay1987]

Hi Guys. I've just been reading through all your posts. So sorry that you're having a tough time. I've finally been given my first appt for IVF after nearly 2 years of waiting. Good luck all xx

[Pittuck23]

Hi! My partner and myself first had IVF 4 years ago. Due to my issues fertility wise IUI wasn’t an option and went straight to ivf. I managed to get 4 eggs, 1 sadly died and 3 went onto be full 5 day blastocysts. We had the best one put in and got pregnant straight away with our beautiful 3 year old daughter. I froze the other 2. We started again with our frozen embys in June of this year, the first one didn’t work but the last is now 14 weeks strong and due next year in may! keeping everything crossed for you and your partner ❤️Xxx

[Melonay1987 in reply to Pittuck23]

Hi Pittuck. Congratulations thats amazing. Can I ask was your treatment private or NHS please ? Xx

[Pittuck23]

This treatment has been private with the London Women’s Clinic. I can’t speak of them highly enough. It’s a costly process I totally agree with everyone who has said that but they have tailored my treatment exactly to me and I’ve been incredibly lucky to have this work relatively quickly on both occasions. Would definitely recommend them. Also, I’ve spoken about DHEA tablets before and how I believe they have improved egg quality, if anyone is going through the process I would say to start taking them now. I believe they helped me immensely xxx