Failed FET - advice / hope: Hey... - Fertility Network UK

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Failed FET - advice / hope

Peanutchips
Peanutchips

Hey everyone,

Hoping for a bit of advice / hope really.

We experienced our first failed FET this week (could’t do fresh due risk of OHSS as I have PCOS).

We transferred a top quality ‘perfect’ embryo, our best one and it failed to implant.

Just wondering if anyone else has had this and then gone on to have success? Feel like this has really knocked me and it’s hard to feel hopeful.

Baby dust to everyone who is also struggling x

31 Replies
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Hello lovely, so sorry to hear this first of all sending you some love at such a rough time. It’s so hard when it doesn’t work. I’m like you my first FET with a top grade 5day blastocyst failed and I was devastated. It’s early days but we just did our second and got our BFP on Monday.

Who knows if I will go the distance as that’s a worry but hopefully this will give you a little hope xx

Hi Amanda,

Thank you so much for replying to me and huge congratulations on your bfp, that’s such wonderful news!! 😀

What it another FET? Was there anything you did differently between the two transfers?

It’s so tough when it fails, it’s made me really worry that it will never work.

Thanks again and so so happy for you xxx

Thank you for your kind words. Yes another FET we did a down regulation for 2 weeks before this time and I also had my progesterone levels checked on day of transfer and they were low so they increased my progesterone. Oh and I took 3 weeks of work which mentally has been the best decision but not always easy for people.

It’s hard to have hope when it’s so raw and it hurts like hell I know. Grieve and cry and then try and move forward too early to lose hope I’m sure you will get there xxx

Thank you so much for this. It’s horrible that others have gone through failure but also makes me feel so much less alone in this struggle.

That’s a great suggestion about the progesterone check, my clinic didn’t do any blood tests throughout my whole FET, just scans. Will push for this next time.

I’m so pleased you got your bfp, hope you have a super happy & healthy pregnancy x

Thank you lovely. I’ve struggled with trusting the process and clinic and mostly you have too! Fingers crossed for next time but take time you need xx

So sorry to hear this - it’s such a tough journey which often makes no sense at all. I had exactly the same thing - our first transfer was a FET of 2 top grade day 5 blastocysts and they didn’t implant. My second fresh cycle was a success in that I got a BFP, it sadly ended in a MMC but we found out the baby had Trisomy 9. I remember people telling me that the clinics can learn a lot from each cycle & amend your protocol for the future. Take the time you need Hun & look after yourself, I didn’t ever think I’d be able to try again but I did! 3rd cycle soon... xx

Hi Libsie,

Thank you for your lovely reply and kind words. I’m so sorry you had a failed cycle and then a loss, that must’ve been so tough.

That’s a good way to look at it in terms of adjusting and learning for each cycle.

Wishing you so much baby dust for your next cycle, so pleased you feel ready to go again x

Hey lovely,

I had a failed FET yesterday 😔 so upsetting isn’t it. I’ve been feeling all the emotions and probably will for a bit longer yet but mainly been so worried today about it not working when everything was spot on. I know exactly how you feel.

Have you arranged a review with your clinic?

Sending love 💕 xxx

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to CLDxxx

I’m so sorry. Sending you light and strength too 💕

Hi Peanutchips, I'm so sorry about your BFN 😔

I have had a similar situation myself... I had a freeze all due to risk of OHSS and then 2 frozen transfers with my best graded enbryos (one was 'perfect' in appearance) but both ended with BFN.

As you asked for hope though I'm really happy to say that I finally got my BFP this week after my third frozen transfer 😁 No idea why the others didn't implant (genetic abnormalities was suggested by doc + 2nd one didn't re-expand well after the thaw) but so thankful this one did and hoping that this is my third time lucky 🤞

Sending you a hug 🤗 Xx

Thank you so much for sending me some hope, I need it 💕 All the best to you 💕

Hi, I did a fresh embryo transfer with a 3bb embryo in November and I was devastated when it failed. I did my research and learned that it takes an average of 2.7 cycles for a successful IVF outcome. Also, being on these types of forums helped me realize that many (if not most) first time IVFs cycle fail. Maybe it's because our bodies have no idea what's going on and they need time to adjust. For my second cycle, this time FET using a 3bb embryo, I went into it with a different mindset. I was incredibly relaxed after doing yoga and pilates that morning. I also made sure to laugh in the procedure and recovery rooms as studies have demonstrated this contributes to slightly higher success rates. I'm happy to say, I got my BFP and I'm currently 9 weeks along. I tell you my story because I remember being in your shoes and feeling/fearing that IVF would never work for me. There are useful charts online that help you calculate your individual likelihood of success per transfer and also your cumulative success across multiple cycles. That might be worth looking it if you think it might help. Just don't lose hope yet, it's too early for that. Give yourself the time to grieve and then give it another go. I'll be thinking of you and sending baby dust your way <3

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to HopefulC

Thank you so so much for your lovely and kind post 💕 Do you know where these predictors are online? I found one that dropped our likelihood of success right down after our 1st transfer failure and it made me feel pretty miserable. All the best to you 💕

HopefulC
HopefulC in reply to Peanutchips

I used this one: smartfertilitychoices.com/m... but also found a different calculator on the CDC website: cdc.gov/art/ivf-success-est...

Based on the table from the first link, my understanding is that the cumulative % of success increases after multiple attempts. I'll be thinking of you as you prepare for the next cycle.

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to HopefulC

That’s so kind, thank you! I hope your pregnancy is going well. Sending 💕

HopefulC
HopefulC in reply to Peanutchips

It is, thanks! 19 weeks today :)

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to HopefulC

Wonderful 🌈😊

I'm really sorry for your BFN, I've been there before. I had 7 perfect embryos,all top graded, FET#1 transferred 1, failed, FET #2 transferred 2, ended up in ectopic, FET #3, transferred 2 failed, only in the FET #4 transferred the last embryos I got my BFP, now Im 21 weeks. I have PCOS too. So, don't worry, it will happen for you.

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to patyfb04

Thank you so much. Sorry you had to go through so many tough cycles before finally getting success. Sending lots of 💕

Hiya Peanutchips,

Not exactly the same as we underwent a fresh cycle, like you we had a very good quality embryo and it failed to implant. We have unexplained fertility and they have no reason for it not working. Just that it happens! Sometimes it came be a matter of being not genetically viable.

I was told to take omega fatty acids and increase b vitamins to help lining of the womb and increase chance of implantation success.

I have also recently had bloods from my GP and my vitamin D is low! This is even despite taking the recommended pre pregnancy vitamins. So I may have been deficient when we undertook our cycle.

We still have 4 good frozen embryos to use( not sure I want to undertake the stress of the process again) just taking time out now. I would definitely recommend that!! Take time to get over it all and look after yourself!! (That is the most important thing)

Sending hugs ❤️

Thank you so much for your lovely message. Sending so much 💕 back your way for your next attempt ❤️

Hi Peanut chips, I’m so so sorry to hear that you got a BFN , I’m afraid I’m at the same stage as you but just wanted to say I get how you’re feeling. I’d been so cautious all of the way from whether we would be approved as I’m 40 so low follicle count, we also needed ICSI so every step we just kept saying don’t get ahead of ourselves, then came the day we found out our 3 fertilized eggs had resulted in 1 good embryo and one ‘beautiful perfect’ embryo - naively I thought I was home dry - I hadn’t joined this forum as had tried to just take things one step and not read statistics not over think. Had one embryo frozen and then they transferred the ‘perfect embryo’ but at day 10 I got stomach cramps that I just knew was AF coming luckily I had found this group days before and the support helped me so much. the clinic told me to carry on and it didn’t mean the end but sadly on the Sunday - amazingly I held out until test day despite heavy blood loss. think I was putting of the inevitable rather then being strong! I knew in my heart of hearts it hadn’t worked but when I got that BFN I really felt like I’d hit rock bottom cried most of the day, didn’t want to speak to my closest friend or my hubby he was so supportive and I know it’s his loss as well but just felt like my body had let us down - just wanted my mum , I know we had 1 embryo left and hubby was trying to be positive but I was just so negative and angry feeling if the best embryo didn’t work what chance does the other one have that wasn’t as good. However I’ve had a week to reflect and have had a good chat with myself we are lucky we still have an embryo and after reading so many stories on here I do have hope again - next time I will insist they check my progesterone levels and maybe next time they will know more from this failed FET there is still hope, lots of it each day I keep seeing BFP 😊 so many positive stories, so please don’t give up and know we feel your pain right now but sending positive vibes, love and hugs your way , all I can say Is don’t give up xxx

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to Luna_79

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I’m so sorry you’re been through it too. Sending lots of love and light your way 💕

Hi Peanutchips. Sorry to hear that it hasn't been successful this time, do you have more frozen embryos to use?

I have pcos and had freeze all due to high risk of ohss. When it came to the FET I was so hopeful because everything had gone so well up to that point. I was devastated when it didn't work, but that was a month ago and I feel completely different now. I've just started taking meds for our second try, and I'm feeling so much more relaxed about it this time. I just think what will be will be, and we'll just have to deal with it along the way.

Give yourself time to grieve and then think forward to your next steps.

X

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to Mystic9

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I’m sorry you had a failed first transfer too, but it looks like from your posts, your 2nd transfer worked? 😀😊💕💕💕

Mystic9
Mystic9 in reply to Peanutchips

Hi Peanutchips. Yes my second FET worked and I am now 9 weeks. Who knows why this one did and the first didn't, I think so much is just down to luck.

Good luck for your next try xx

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to Mystic9

That’s wonderful news! Congratulations to you 😊💕 Wondering if you did anything different for your 2nd transfer? Were gradings fairly similar? Excited but really nervous for our 2nd attempt xx

Mystic9
Mystic9 in reply to Peanutchips

Thank you. I went into second transfer more relaxed, I'd accepted that it might take a few attempts and whatever will be will be. I had some issues with my lining both times so I started on the highest dose of oestrogen, and I ate some Brazil nuts every day to help it thicken. I did use embryo glue second time. I think they were similar grade embryos but my clinic don't really say much about the quality, they are either good enough for freezing or they're not.

It's normal to be nervous, but honestly don't put pressure on yourself. Xx

Peanutchips
Peanutchips in reply to Mystic9

Thanks for much for this. Maybe I’ll ask about embryo glue for my next attempt. All the very best 💕

Bless you. It’s a journey, not a predetermined destination. Stay the course. Be as strong as you can. Babies often come to those that persevere. It most often takes cycles. Hang in there. ❤️

Thank you. It’s worth waiting / fighting for so I won’t give up! ❤️😊

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