Beta test negative - how long to wait before going again?

[Travel27]

Hi All

So my beta test came back negative this morning which I had already decided I was expecting to be honest, although I'm still crying and upset.

I am doing this with donor eggs now after 5 years failing on my own, with clomid and with mild IVF. I am wondering how long people left it between one try and the next? Did you go straight into the next cycle or give it a break?

I have 3 more AA blasts frozen (put in 2 this time), and so have at least 2 more potential tries. Just wondering whether to go straight for it or not.

Am now going to have a good cry for a couple of hours and then get back to work.

TQ

[Hidden]

I think it depends how you feel mentally. I dont think this is your first round? I can't remember?

Anyway after my first failed I went straight into my 2nd a month later and actually got a BFP but sadly lost it. I felt better 'doing something' towards TTC rather than sitting about being upset.

Having said that about 6 months later I realised I had buried a LOAD of emotions, that continued to get worse and worse with a whole load of things going wrong. I took some time off until my third cycle but in hindsight actually went too soon for that cycle and I wasn't in the right place mentally and the whole thing made me ill.

Since then we have had a break, a variety of other upsets, but am now day 3 of a new cycle and feel in a much better place to cope with it mentally. This is now nearly 2 years since my first cycle.

One difference is I do have to have fresh every time due to my age and not enough eggs to freeze.

I think only you know if you are ready, but don't try and rush ahead because of your age and the fact you don't feel time is on your side (I am 43 next month)... I think if you go when you don't feel in the right shape for it you are often essentially wasting a cycle as it just won't work.

Masses of luck xx

[Travel27 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your thoughts. No, this is not my first cycle, although only my 2nd transfer. I have been trying with my own eggs and now onto donor ones which in theory have a greater success rate. I am 44 in April, so I hear you on the age thing.

[Cinderella5]

Sorry to hear that! Ive had lots of tears too. Everyone is different and it really depends on how you feel. I always feel better if I have a plan forward but that's not necessarily the "right" thing to do. My clinic would allow me to start fairly soon if I wanted to. Th only time Ive had to wait for the 3 months was if I'd had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage. I just had another negative last Wed and Im planning to start my meds on my April cycle. Hugs.xx

[Travel27 in reply to Cinderella5]

Yeah, I'm a planner too, normally makes me feel more in control, this has just knocked me as I really hoped it would work with donor eggs.

[Cinderella5 in reply to Travel27]

Im using DE too and our chances are greatly improved with using DE however no guarantees however I understand your disappointment. I think we pin out hopes on that if we make the switch we will get there. Hang on in there, the next one could be the lucky one.xx

[Travel27 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks. My ffing doctor just wrote to me and said sorry and then told me a positive story to 'give me hope' and then suggested we think about other options. I suspect he didn't actually look at my file and realise I am already ON the other option and its a bit early to think surrogacy after one failed donor round. Now I am absolutely bawling.

[Cinderella5 in reply to Travel27]

Nooo, dont panic! Just because DE doesnt work first time that doesnt mean that its not going to. I think he hasnt realised that you're already doing DE. It doesnt always work first time so hang on in there.xxx

[Travel27 in reply to Cinderella5]

I know, but how shit? He operated on me for a polyp. He put the bloody eggs back in - I mean!?!? WTAF. Sorry, I am either crying or furious today. Nothing in between. Going to have a drink in 5,4,3,2,1....

[Cinderella5 in reply to Travel27]

I dont blame you for feeling angry lovely! Your hormones will still be raging too which doesnt help anything let alone when you are gutted with a failed outcome and that your Dr cant even get his info right when you are paying him a sh!t load of cash! Have that drink and enjoy, I did the same....actually had a few too many but sod it!!xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Travel. So sorry to hear that this has not worked for you. Providing you feel you can cope with another cycle, then most clinics like you to have at least one period that is "normal" for you then off you go. I do hope you've got some support just now. Thinking of you. Diane

[Travel27 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks. Its donor eggs, so no 'harvesting' as with normal IVF, I have 3blasts waiting in the freezer. Will wait for my clinic to reply

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to Travel27]

Hi Travel. So pleased to hear that you have some embryos waiting. I really do hope that next time will be your time. Diane

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to hear this and sending you positive vibes xx you have to do what is right for you 🥰🥰

[Hidden]

No answer to your question but very sorry to hear of your BFN. Take care xxx

[ttcemmie]

Sorry for the late response. Wanted to say so so sorry to hear about your negative result. Completely up to you whether you want to jump right back in or not. This is a grief and takes some time to get around your head around, but only you know which is best. Sometimes it feels better to just get moving again and sometimes you need some time out. Cry all you need! Happy for you that you have some frozens, and best wishes for the next step in this horrible journey. Lots of love. xxx