I can't calm myself this morning. I've convinced myself I don't feel pregnant anymore. I have a complicated history of pregnancy loss and have never carried past the second trimester. We got to miss second trimester before. I still can't bear to even think about that loss. I tried to go to counselling this week to discuss it for the first time and found myself talking nonsense instead pretending everything was fine. I was meant to go to a support group last night too and found a million reasons not to.
I have been bleeding on and off for a while now. I have a lot of pain thanks to endo and adeno and adhesions making this pregnancy very difficult. I had a very very bad weekend just gone where I couldn't walk or stand up with pain. I also was finding very dark brown almost black stains that got heavier as the weekend went on. It would just fill half to 2/3 of a panty liner but never seemed wet if that makes sense. I went to the doctors and they said it was normal for me.
The early pregnancy team are keeping me a bit later in this pregnancy. I rang them first thing Monday and they asked me to come for a scan. The nurse said don't panic but it's not usual but not unheard of to have such dark staining or discharge or even bleeding at this stage. I have the scan tomorrow. I can't settle. I am beside myself. Trying my best to calm down and be positive but when you've lost so much before and convinced you'd never have the miracle I can't seem to believe my baby will make it.
Has anyone had a difficult pregnancy and things been OK? Any issues with this dark discharge and bad pain? I don't know why I am posting really. 😢