1st round of IVF ICSI failed fresh waiting for FET

[Judda4982]

Hey I’m new to this. Still completely heartbroken 4 years trying for a baby and fighting nhs guidelines to meet criteria and finally got accepted and I started 1st ivf icsi cycle on the 4th of jan 2020.started progesterone evening of retrieval I had 6 eggs 5 mature but only 2 fertilised normal I had 5 day blastocyst transfered it was graded 5BB and a 3CC which was going to be froze. Thought everything was good and I finally thought I was getting a bundle of joy. But sadly I went for my HCG beta pregnancy blood test 9 days after ET and then had the heartbreaking news there was nothing 😭 clinic have said to come in on 6th of Feb to talk about the steps of frozen transfer. To possibly do it March cycle. Is there any hope for me ? Is it too soon? Stopped pessaeries thursday the evening I had neg test from clinic as advised still no bleed but started with bad headache today. Anyone else been in this situation? Any help or advice is much appreciated xx

[alittlelife]

Hi there, I’m so sorry to hear of what you have been through. It must have been a really tough month after waiting so long already. I had a failed fresh cycle in Nov and was told I needed only to wait for one normal cycle to pass (so initial bleed after failed cycle and then a normal bleed after a month off). So basically starting in January. I don’t know the specifics of your situation but I believe this is the standard recommendation from a medical point of view. I’m not sure however how the NHS works in your area so they might insist on two months wait due to waiting times but if you are keen to go ASAP I would def try and get your follow up in soon so you can get any frozen cycle drugs needed before March. There’s still plenty of time. Keeping fingers crossed for you xxx

[Judda4982 in reply to alittlelife]

Thanks for reply alittlelife xx sorry to hear about your failed cycle x fingers crossed for this time xx and yes I think best to start again soon as possible. The nurse said I’m to come in on Thursday this week 6th Feb. To go over what I have to do to prepare for frozen transfer she said give myself a break for 4 weeks so I’m presuming they want to try frozen transfer once I start bleeding again beginning of March ? Still unsure though if that’s exactly what she meant so I will make sure I ask plus il have more of an understanding when I see the clinic on Thursday x my nhs funding offers me 2 cycles of ivf so the frozen transfer is still running on my 1st cycle. So here’s hoping little frostie works out x baby dust to you xx

[alittlelife in reply to Judda4982]

Ah yes - that sounds right so would just need to let one month pass and then you get going again early March. I imagine they will want to talk through options for frozen transfer etc as they may offer you a natural or medicated cycle. That’s so wonderful you get two full cycles on IVF including frozen! Unfortunately we don’t get any free where we live but fortunately have Frosties left before needing to go through full ivf again. It’s wonderful you also had some good enough to freeze. I would say try and treat yourself to something nice in February to help the time pass and also remind you how much you have been through to get to this stage it’s also positive you can see them for the follow up this week. It must feel so tough at the moment but I promise once you get your new plan through you will start to feel a bit better and look forward to next try xxx

[Judda4982 in reply to alittlelife]

Yeah I think that’s the plan hopefully all works out. And it’s horrible there’s some many counties where they have stopped offering ivf on the nhs. I’ve been chasing this for 3 years. 4years of trying for a baby and 3 years chasing the system everytime I met a target they told me to get too they would change it and tell me I had to lose more weight baring in mind I wasn’t overweight to begin with. They still wouldn’t help me until my bmi was 25. My bmi when starting out was 32 but not overweight. First I was told it needs to be 30 so I did that. Ten they said no it got to be 29 then 28 etc etc. Lost 4/5st and looked ill but finally got accepted or it was because they could we I wouldn’t give in ? It’s been a long road. And I know so many of us woman who are struggling get knocked back but we all get up brush off and keep going. There’s so many success stories I hear and read and kind people like you to help keep us going x hopefully going. To go visit my family for a few days now and come back Wednesday ready with a clear mind for Thursday appointment and hopefully get a new plan in place then spend some quality time with hubby for rest of the month cause as hard as this has been so far for me. I think it’s really took a toll on him. I’ve read so much into treatment etc I was kinda prepared for the worst but expecting the best if u know what I mean ? Where as him bless him was thinking it was a done deal and that once it was put it in that was it he thought it has to of worked. So yeah he seems to be very low at minute to but me. Arnt like us. They don’t like talking about things but slowly getting him to open up xx

[alittlelife in reply to Judda4982]

Wow. That’s shocking they changed the goalposts so many times. It must have been a total emotional rollercoaster even before the ivf started! It sounds like you have done crazy amounts of work to get to this point. I’m glad you are finally on the way even though the recent set back must feel like another kick backwards.

It sounds like you have the perfect plan for the next few days. I start my next cycle next week but going to my parents for a few days to remind myself of all the wonderful people I already have in my life. I totally understand about hubby - mine is the same. He was so positive going into things whereas I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be quick and easy. He’s fine on the whole but sometimes quite sad and feels hopeless. But ultimately it’s an experience you share together and it brings even more closeness in the long run.

I hope your forthcoming appointment brings you the positivity to help lift you through February. xx

[Judda4982 in reply to alittlelife]

Thank you x and I really do with you the best for your cycle !! XX yeah sometimes he ok then he has low time and like you say feels hopeless etc but we there for each other and it will keep us stronger together xx yeah I’ve been kicked back so many times so I’m not giving up Like the nurses and doctors and everyone says the happier you are the happier and relaxed your body is and the more chance there is of little embryos staying and getting cosy and it will happen for the both of us xxx good luck with it all xx and thank you so much for replying xxx

[alittlelife in reply to Judda4982]

Thank you xx

[Ginger1984]

So sorry to hear, it's so tough when you get that fail. I've failed twice last year absolutely devastated. I'm on the two week wait now. Had frozen transfer on wed just gone. If this fails we have paid for one more fresh go then that will have to be it for us. Spent nearly £20k! Two previous times I bled 7 days after and then 9 days after. If you feel strong enough emotionally then go for your frozen go as soon as you feel ready. With my frozen go it was a natural cycle so no drugs so was all easy. With my previous 2 fresh goes we left it 3 months apart so we could just go back to reality for a bit

[Judda4982 in reply to Ginger1984]

I’m so sorry to hear about your failed cycles but here’s hoping and praying you get the BFP this time round. I’ve heard so many good things when people have used frozen ones. So I’m sending you baby dust and I will keep everything crossed for u xx and my cousin had 2 fresh cycles what sadly failed but she has had 2 frozen transfers and she has a gorgeous 2 year old girl and a 7 month old baby boy so success is within reach for us all !! Xx I’ve just started bleed this morning 😔 was due on today as normal so I presume my cycle isn’t that messed up maybe I don’t know ? Heads still a mess. Very painful worser then normal period but I’m being hopeful in knowing it’s clearing all the meds out my body so il be ready for frozen transfer by next month hopefully. But I will keep you updated with what nurses say on Thursday when I go to talk about the steps of frozen I’m hoping they let me do it as a natural cycle cause it does seem a lot less stressful and not as much stress on our bodies xx thank u for replying xxx

[MrsH17]

Hi Judda, sorry to hear your sad news. You still have a chance of being pregnant this year. Try to keep positive. Xxxx

[Judda4982 in reply to MrsH17]

Thank u MrsH17 fingers crossed my frozen cycle works out. It’s so hard to keep positive but the sooner I can get positive and my body back in sync and my head together then the quicker I can try again It’s such a toll on your body and mind isn’t it. We are all warriors xx

[MrsH17 in reply to Judda4982]

Yes it is very emotionally and physically draining. I have an appointment at the clinic today but don’t well enough to drive down so will be delayed again ... hate the delays xxx

[Judda4982 in reply to MrsH17]

Oh no I’m sorry to hear that u have hit a delay! Yeah I understand your pain about delay. Nothing worse then having a plan and something coming up but no one can help being poorly especially this time of year and to go heads on with ivf rollercoaster you both need to be in good health and strength xx I’m sure the ball will get rolling again once better. Il keep fingers crossed for you and good luck for ur very soon to come appointment xx

[MrsH17 in reply to Judda4982]

Thank you xxxx