I feel so lonely right now

[FrancyItaly]

After my miscarriage in September I left my job. I was a Nursery School Manager, I really struggled with my own feelings at the time, I felt I wasn’t giving 100% and being around pregnant mums wasn’t helping. My family from Italy came to spend Christmas with us, they were here for over a week and I was never alone. When they left I felt so sad and lonely, but Soon after Christmas my husband and I went on holiday so I got distracted. We came back a week ago, this week my husband took the week off and he was at home with me. Tomorrow he will be going back to work and I feel so lonely already! I really thought I would be pregnant by now, instead this month I didn’t even ovulate. My friends, some just had a baby in December, some are currently pregnant. If I speak to them all I get is how happy or tired they are. I’m so scared I will not be pregnant by what would have been my due date on 25th March. How will I go through that day? I don’t know what to do to feel less lonely, I share this with you as I know you are good listeners. Thank you for being there.

[Keepingfaith85]

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage and that you are feeling so lonely. I definitely feel lonely myself with ivf as my best friend is pregnant a long with all my other friends and the two transfers I've had have been unsuccessful. I've ended up cutting myself off from people a little bit which probably isn't the best.

I used to be a nursery manager too and I definitely can't imagine doing that right now. Parents obviously share their news with you and you are surrounded by little ones... just too painful.

It must be hard with your family far away and husband working. Please know that you are not alone in feeling lonely.... I think it's sadly common which makes this forum so great a place to come xxx

[FrancyItaly in reply to Keepingfaith85]

Thank you for your message. Sorry to read about your journey, I really hope it will end with a beautiful baby or two for you!

[Keepingfaith85 in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you, you too 😘

[Hidden]

That's what lonely is it's feeling cut off from everyone else rather than being on your own per se.

Due dates are always hard as you are reminded of what you have lost out on. Perhaps take the day off from job hunting and do nice things for yourself that day and have a good cry if you need one about what you have lost and put on some sad music to help with that.

I'm sorry to hear you lost your job at the nursery but I do understand you felt you had no other choice in the matter than to leave in order to save your sanity if that makes any sense as that's what I did quite recently resigned from a place where I was being bullied and I had been devastated but I am fine now and come to accept what is and feel I was accidentally done a favour in being bullied as it has opened up doors that would have been closed otherwise for me.

I'm sure you are happy for those that have had babies or are pregnant and wouldn't wish them ill but wish it was you as well and it hurts when you see others experiencing things that you sadly lost out on after the miscarriage.

At a previous job the line manager there had a miscarriage before she had her son who is now 13 and she had cried when she found out that a friend was pregnant because she had wanted it for herself but had lost out due to the miscarriage and I had been like it really hurts doesn't it seeing others experiencing things that you sadly lost out on and had physically comforted her.

After she had her son she had problems with her spoilt dog as it was extremely jealous of the new baby as due to being spoilt it had been displaced as the baby of the family and was jealous!

[FrancyItaly in reply to Hidden]

I’ll try to do something nice with my husband on my due date. Thank you for your message.

[Afrohair]

So sorry you feel this way I have similar feelings had a misscarrige in September at 12.5 week I do have current children but that’s not to say it hurts any less I’m still on a ttc journey for another baby and sometimes I feel so lonley when my partner goes to work like I need that emotional connection around me as we have been through so much a lot of people around me are pregnant and that’s also a struggle for me my due date will be in March 16th and I’ve been told not to ttc yet so I know I won’t be pregnant then it’s so upsetting

[FrancyItaly in reply to Afrohair]

Thank you for your message and sorry for your loss. I hope you will get pregnant again soon x

[ttcemmie]

It's really difficult going through this journey. Sorry about your miscarriage and having to leave your job (I'm just about clinging on to mine - and I don't work with kids! Can't imagine how difficult it must be to work with young kids). I had a miscarriage in July and my due date would have been the 22nd January, which I'm dreading. Just know that you're not alone and we understand how you feel on here. xxx

[FrancyItaly in reply to ttcemmie]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It’s so heartbreaking every time I look at a date and remember what stage my baby would be. I hope you have a good day on 22nd.

[ttcemmie]

Also, I agree this is a very lonely journey, but know that (one way or another) it won't last forever and it will just be a period of your life. This won't be how you feel forever. x

[FrancyItaly in reply to ttcemmie]

Thank you for your messages. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you will have your rainbow baby soon!

[Christianbaby]

You can chat with me anytime dear! Here or PM. Are there any supports groups in your area? Try asking your OB. Or they say, getting deep into a project will help you keep your mind away from the pain. Do you plan to search for another job? Pursue a hobby? Something that would keep you in contact with people.

[FrancyItaly in reply to Christianbaby]

Thank you for your message. I’m not looking for another job, I’m doing some Dog walking and Pet sitting, I find it helpful as I get to spend time outdoors, there are many parks and gardens in my neighborhood so I enjoy that. I don’t enjoy being around people at the moment.

[Christianbaby in reply to FrancyItaly]

Of course dear. Being around dogs are rather therapeutic. I hope you will feel better. Just don't lose hope.

[Hope4another]

It's so hard, isn't it? Are you looking for a different job at the moment? Everyone is different, but I actually find it helpful to be busy. I can't imagine working with babies, though. I'm a teacher and actually I always put a big smile on for the children and I feel better for it. Do you have any friends who are single or struggling in a similar way? It can be really hard being with those who have what you are longing for. X

[FrancyItaly in reply to Hope4another]

Thank you for your message. I have some friends who struggled with infertility but had a baby now, and another who has been trying for more than 4 years and no luck. I’m not looking for a job, I’m doing Pet sitting, I enjoy spending time outdoors and it gives me flexibility too. It’s just to keep myself busy and get some cash. Actually I enjoyed working with the children at the nursery school, they were making me feel much better but I struggled to be around many pregnant parents. They were not aware about my miscarriage so they were constantly talking to me about babies and pregnancies.

[anonmous23]

Hi hun, I am so sorry about your news, I know what you mean about feeling lonely, I feel the same, plus this time of the year does not help. if you need a chat you can always message, I pray we get our chance soon to be mummies. Pm anytime if you need a chat xxx big hugs.

[FrancyItaly in reply to anonmous23]

Thank you for your message and for being there, I appreciate it. Yes this was a particular time of the year and my due date is getting closer. I was hoping to be pregnant by then.

[Tiddly1984]

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re feeling so sad. Infertility is difficult, scary, lonely and all consuming place to be. I’m glad your family have tried their best to be there for and your husband sounds just lovely. My advice, have a plan so that you don’t end up in a place where you feel adrift and without purpose and direction. Make plans between now and March, plans which will help you in your journey towards motherhood. What are your next steps, your options etc. Aldo make a plan for the 25th March if things don’t happen within that time frame; maybe book a few days away in Italy. And make plans for after that day so that you don’t give in to feeling completely bereft and as though things will never go your way just because it may not happen by the 25th. I know that having plans doesn’t take away the heartache and loneliness but it does help to foster hopefulness and I’m an avid believer that being relaxed and at peace goes some way towards our bodies functioning well and being receptive to pregnancy. Hoping for the best for you.x

[FrancyItaly in reply to Tiddly1984]

Thank you for taking the time to write this message. I will surely plan something for that day, in the meantime I’m treating myself well by eating healthy, relaxing when I can, spending time outside and continuing my treatment. These are the things that make me feel better right now. I hope for the best for you too.

[Tiddly1984]

You’re welcome. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can and hopefully it’s just a matter of time now. Hoping 2020 is your year...x