Last IVF round - any hope at all? - Fertility Network UK

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Last IVF round - any hope at all?

Samosa17
Samosa17

I don’t know what i am doing. I feel so helpless, we have had two failed cycles. It’s all fresh so absolutely broken. We had ICIS both cycles because the sperm count is low. I have endo & one ovary which is being over worked. We have one last round NHS funded but not sure we want to go again the last round would include a longer down reg through busereline, menopur and a steroid throughout. Seems very aggressive. They said my eggs are of poor quality possibly due to endo. I produced 9 eggs in first cycle and one embryo was implanted the rest not viable. The second cycle we produced six eggs and same thing one embryo was viable. Thinking to give up now. I am only 31. This feels unfair, difficult and awful. I was also made redundant on the 1 dec and our test was taken on 6 December. It’s just awful. Any hope for me at all? I don’t know. All my friends are having babies though. Has anyone ever had the same issue? I just need the encouragement if I am honest. I have spent close to a month just watching Netflix, I don’t have any energy for anything else. I am not crying as much as I was at the start. Would you go again?

24 Replies
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Oh bless you hun. So sorry to hear the cycles so far haven't worked out and about your job too. I always think will you look back and regret not giving it one last go, especially if NHS funded, but you need to do what is right for you. At least it sounds like they're doing something different this time which is good rather than repeating the same process. Glad you're crying less and resting lots! We are all here to support you too. Best of luck with whatever you decide. Xx

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to Lots8788

Thank you, that means a lot. I think I will go for it because my husband really wants us to go again. But with 20% chance - it just feels hopeless. Has anyone actually got pregnant after being given 20% or less chances?

Lots8788
Lots8788 in reply to Samosa17

I think we hear so many miracle stories on here (inc many where people have been told that there is a very slim chance of it happening) that you can never say never. Plus even though the chances aren't that high with IVF, they're likely higher than not doing it and continuing to try naturally. That's what I try and think anyhow when going through the cycles and it sometimes helps xx

You are too young to give up! Please, don't lose your heart as there are so many options in the world that can help! There are many innovations, a lot of good and talented doctors. We deserve to be moms and our DHs deserve to be dads. Let's move forward for them, for ourselves, for our families! There are so many clinics in the world that you may go to... You need just to make at least one more try! Your negative is not a failure, it's just one more step to your dream. Don't stop!

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to SunnyDream

Thank you! I will try again. Maybe take one day at a time.

Hi, I am so sorry to hear that. I also had my BFN last week and can totally telate to your feelings.

You are still young and have plenty of chances. You should not give up! Sending you lots of positive vibes and baby dust for 2020!

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to Dreambaby

Thank you! Appreciate you! X

Hidden
Hidden

Sorry to hear everything you've been through. Only you (and your OH) can decide whether you go again. You can have a break if that would help. Have you had counselling with your clinic? That may help you see the wood from the trees.

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to Hidden

I am in counselling now. I think it’s a process. I bounced back much quicker from the first round it’s just taking forever for me to feel a little hopeful or even better. I guess that’s the nature of these things. I keep focusing on the 20% chance and that’s what makes me lose myself.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Samosa17

Glad to hear you've counselling on the go. It is hard to avoid the stats in it all. I read / listened to something which said the stats are irrelevant and that it's binary - it either works or doesn't and whilst it doesn't make it any easier to go through all the stages it did help me not focus on the chances of it not working.

Aw I'm so sorry lovely, it's so heartbreaking 💔

Definitely keep going, especially as it's another funded cycle, you have nothing to lose. We have had a similar experience, first round 10 eggs no embryos viable, 2nd round 10 eggs again, this time they implanted 2 embryos the others didint survive and we had our BFN a couple of weeks back. It's just heart wrenching, again like you all my friends are having babies and I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives and I'm still struggling and grieving so much with out journey.

They should now be able to try a new protocol or change it up in some way for your next cycle. I would try and get through xmas, relax and then in the new year, try again, and hopefully it will be a different set of results.

Unfortunately we are now having to self fund which is a huge burden and stress added onto the already horrendous process. I'm hoping to choose a clinic in the new year and start again, but for now, I will eat and drink what I want for just a couple of weeks. Sending you a big hug, and you arent alone 😘 xxx

I have poor quality eggs. We’ve had 4ivf and 4 iui and nothing I just can’t get the quality of embryo we need.

This year we moved to a donor egg and now have 5 strong embryo in the freezer. Hoping 2020 will be our year x

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to Justus1

Sorry to ask if this is sensitive, how did you feel about donor eggs. They have told us that if this doesn’t work that’s our option. I don’t know how I feel about that just yet. My husband has said no for now - I don’t know if he will change his mind after our last round. Did they give you any stats before you went for egg donor. Did they explain what it didn’t work for you. Sorry so many questions this is just confusing.

Justus1
Justus1 in reply to Samosa17

We were told we should use egg donors after our 2nd round of ivf. They said I had eggs of a ‘old’ lady/ someone in her 40s. But I didn’t feel right about it, back then at 31. Now at 36, my view has changed and lots of egg collections and drugs later knowing that my body isn’t able to produce these eggs has made me come to terms with it. But I had to go through all the other cycles to understand that! Also I would suggest doing some research around egg donors and the % of the make up that is actually comes from the donor. The the bulk is actually sperm and the person carrying the baby, so the donor plays a small part in your journey. But if this works I will be forgiver grateful to our donor.

Feel free to ask any questions.

Hi,

I know it’s completely the hardest thing to think right now, but remember 20% is higher than 0%, and it only takes one. When I’m down, that’s what my husband keeps telling me, but I completely understand that it’s so difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. FYI I’m also 31. Out of pour interest what hospital/clinic are having your IVF at?

My IVF is also funded through the NHS due to me having a genetic disorder which they are trying to screen out as there is a 50% chance my embryos will have it. I’m pretty sure the NHS funds 3 cycles? I’m on my 2nd one but remember this if the NHS are giving you 3 cycles (in my opinion and which I’m intend on doing should this cycle be unsuccessful for me) is using the 3rd cycle. I know your body goes through completely hell both physically and mentally, but with family/friends giving you the support you need you can find a way through it I’m sure. You’re stronger than you think.

In my first cycle I only had 1 male embryo which free from the was the gene I have even after producing 11 eggs (remember it’s quality over quantity) when sent away biopsy, they test the embryo via PGD. I then made it through to implantation with him and got a positive pregnancy result. However when having the scan there was no embryo just an empty space in my womb, it was just heart breaking that he has left us so I can completely relate to your pain. I remember saying to my husband who has no fertility issues (infact the embryologist’s exact words were he was tested “your sperm is of excellent quality”), when I saw no embryo in the scan it’s like someone ripped out my heart and stepped all over it. I also then blame my myself for putting him through this when he doesn’t actually need to.

For my 2nd cycle the hospital put me on a higher dose of injections, hoping to produce more eggs to be fertilised. I produced 10 eggs this time, 1 less than last time which I burst into tears about since for this cycle I was on a much higher dose so naturally expected more to be produced. 2 than made it to day 6 and they were frozen (I can’t have FET, instead I have frozen cause the need to sent away)and when sent off for biopsy, this time being both girl embryos, 1 had the gene so wasn’t viable and 1 didn’t. So again for this cycle I’ve only got 1 even embryo which saddens me cause deep down I thought this cycle would be better.

After speaking to my husband, he made me realise to treat each cycle separately and not compare it to any other one, it’s doesn’t help cause you can’t change the past . So I guess what I’m trying to you tell you is that should you go ahead with the 3rd cycle please try and keep it as a new cycle, as this would be the present one and you never know this cycle could be the one and remember it only takes one!

I hope this help (so sorry if it doesn’t!), I only joined this forum looking from women who have/going through IVF as we are the ones who knows how it truly feels.

Xx

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to 1988M

Hi,

That sounds very difficult. It’s crazy how challenging all our journeys are! I am in London - St Barts. How about yourself?

My husband keeps telling me that 20% is more than 0%. You hear stories of age being a compromising factor you never really think that for yourself if could be more than that. It’s heart breaking. Every step you described I have one to match as well and just the emotional torture of all of it.

The drugs themselves I am in a longer down reg so by the end I am ready for it all to end. It’s just tough. Wishing you the best in your 2nd cycle. Praying that it’s the one that works and you don’t have to go through this again! Sending you hugs! Xx

1988M
1988M in reply to Samosa17

I’m having my IVF/PGD done at Guy’s hospital which I was referred to by a genetic consultant. The unit is brilliant, all the staff are so nice! Hope your clinic is lovely too? So you’re for London too then!

That’s exactly what my husband says, look at it this way 20% is better than 0%, it’s hard to think positive but at the end of the day it’s true. I, like you also have really crap days! Have you decided what you wanted to do? At the end of the day it’s your body which will be going through it and have to really think about it, maybe through Christmas you could have a think.

I’m waiting for the clinic to tell me when to start the oestrogen tablets, if I remember correctly, it’s period dependent. So in all honesty they may tell me to start on the February period and not January.

If you decide to go ahead with your 3rd cycle I wish you all the best!! 2020 maybe your year, it has 20 in it so may match your 20% chance! Good luck hun and you are definitely stronger than you think!

Xx

Hi there! How are you now? I am so sorry for all those failed cycles. It really takes a lot of strength to go for a cycle. And if it fails, it affects your body as well your mind. As you said that your eggs are of poor quality, then why don't you go for IVF with donor eggs? Your age is not that much. I also conceived in my early 30s through IVF. First of all, you need to relax and calm down. Start by doing some exercise and yoga, it will help your body to get back its strength and also clear your mind. I hope this helps you. My blessings are with you. Good luck! Goodbye!

It truly is such a difficult process. It completely changes you as a person in ways that you could never anticipate. Snd it’s such a bad time of year to receive all of this bad news. 😞

Some people keep going and achieve their dreams, which is amazing!

We have had 4 IVF cycles and 4 IUI cycles all out of pocket. We would’ve killed for any funding or assistance! There would’ve been no question about proceeding or not.

I have one tube, husband has no sperm. We used donor sperm and we’re given 5% chance of success due to my age and IUI ... it worked!

We tried IVF with husbands sperm and then we couldn’t afford any more cycles, which is why we went to IUI after procuring donor sperm. I was 37.

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to Sullygrrrl

It worked!! That’s awesome! At 5% chance your miracle materialised - that’s amazing news. I am so grateful for the funding at least until now this hasn’t been financially stressing considering my recent redundancy.

I need to focus on the encouragement I have received so far. But maybe for now I need to grieve the recent loss and then decide in the new year. Thanks for sharing!

Hi there! I hope you are feeling better now. I feel bad that so far the cycles didn't work out for you. But if you keep trying, it will definitely work. I am happy to see that you are not crying anymore. That's the first stage of recovery. Even if there's a 1 percent chance, just take it. I have heard so many miracle stories here. So your story will be another one for us. It's still better than 0 percent. So good luck. Stay blessed. Take care. Bye!

Samosa17
Samosa17 in reply to Alyssa123

Thank you! Sending you hugs! Xxxx

Hey there! How are you? I hope you are feeling better now. I am sorry that your cycles failed but if you are aware of your egg quality. Then you should have gone for the donor. It won't even make a huge difference and looks like that it will be successful for you. Other than that I am happy that you are recovering slowly. When you stop crying, it means that you are ready to take the next step. You need to think about it. So I hope next time when you try, it works out. Good luck. Stay blessed. Take care. Bye!

Hiya,

Thank you, so I can’t go for the egg donor until I have exhausted the NHS options. They have advised us to take the last round with 20% chance of success before crossing that bridge. I think we will go for it one last time and then go from there. I am working on cleaning my diet and will go back to exercise just after Christmas. Thank you for the encouragement! Appreciate it! Merry Christmas xxx

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