Sensitive : Sadly at my 9 week scan... - Fertility Network UK

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Sensitive

Jessy1280 profile image
63 Replies

Sadly at my 9 week scan yesterday baby has stopped developing. Can't get my head around it. Saw a strong heartbeat only Friday in hospital epu and they discharged me.

Some disparity between clinic and hospital. Friday epu told me I was 7w+4 days according to my dates and I was measuring as such. Clinic says I was 8w+2 days on Friday. Baby seems to have stopped growing Sunday at 7w 6 days.

My birthday today and I feel totally lost and broken 😢 💔

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Jessy1280 profile image
Jessy1280
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63 Replies
HollyT7 profile image
HollyT7

I just wanted to send you a really big cuddle xxx xxxxx ❤️

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks

Oh Jessy, I’m so so sorry. This is such an awful and painful journey. Please take time to let it sink in and grieve. Be kind to yourself. Sending lots of love xxx

CLDxxx profile image
CLDxxx

So sorry Jessy 😔 so sad for you. Please take care of yourself. Sending you lots of love 💕

Gem2410 profile image
Gem2410

I’m so sorry. Please look after yourself. Sending you lots of love xx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85

Just wanted to send you a big hug xxxx this is so cruel and I'm so sorry to hear your news

Hopeful_wishes profile image
Hopeful_wishes

So sorry, sending you a massive hug xxx

Missl73 profile image
Missl73

I’m so sorry for your loss Jessy, it’s totally heartbreaking. Take your time to grieve and be gentle with yourself it’s so hard.

I went through a very similar experience this time last year with my first IVF pregnancy which measured behind from the start too. I know you will be facing some difficult choices about how you want to manage the next steps so if you have any questions on that feel free to PM me xxx

Tywo profile image
Tywo in reply to Missl73

Just saw your post I went through this last week and I am about to start another one we’re you told the reason or what I should I do different pls message me as I won’t want to go through it again thanks

I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I can’t imagine how painful it must be. I hope you are being looked after and have full support. Be kind to yourself and remember we are all here for you ❤️

Solly-44 profile image
Solly-44

I’m so sorry lovely. Sending love xx

Suzy86 profile image
Suzy86

I’m so sorry Jessy to hear this. I really feel for you. Sending lots of love and a big hug xxxxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

I know we have message privately already but Im thinking of you!💔xxx

Faith103 profile image
Faith103

I can’t believe I’m reading this, I were so pleased to see everything going well...no words right now will make any odds to your thoughts. I’m so utterly shocked and sad for you. Rest up lovely xxxx

This is truly cruel and awful Jessy1280. You are in my thoughts and prayers ❤️❤️xx

Hi Jessy1280,

I am 💔 for you.This journey is too cruel.😢Sending you a big 🤗.

Louise

Xxxx😘

amandac84 profile image
amandac84

Oh goodness my heart goes out to you cxxx

I am so sorry to hear this! Sending lots of good vibes to you. All the best! Xx

LunaLovegood11 profile image
LunaLovegood11

So sorry sweetheart xx

Trying1234 profile image
Trying1234

Hi Jessy I am so so sorry to hear your sad news and also wanted to send you a big hug xxx

ttcemmie profile image
ttcemmie

Sorry to hear this, Jessy. This is devastating. My baby also stopped developing earlier this year, and it's utterly heartbreaking. It's very cruel. Let yourself grieve and be kind to yourself. Sending lots of love.

So very sorry for your loss. I had a chemical pregnancy a few years ago & it’s so heartbreaking after it’s such wanted pregnancy . Even worse for you when you’ve had scans 😢 I hope you have plenty of support around you during this awful time xxx

emmab178 profile image
emmab178

So sorry to hear this. Big hugs x

Kiedy84 profile image
Kiedy84

I am so so sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine😣this is so cruel and unfair.

Look after yourself,I hope you have loving family and friends around you in this difficult time x

Rainbowhope profile image
Rainbowhope

I cant imagine your pain but I feel awful for you. I'm so sorry. None of this makes any sense. I'm so heartbroken and sorry for you.

cache_cache profile image
cache_cache

I am so sorry, Jessy1280. It so cruel and unfair. The same happened to me a week ago so I totally understand now you feel. Look after yourself. Big hugs XX

Lavender96 profile image
Lavender96

I’m so sorry for your loss, it really is heartbreaking! Take time to grieve and look after yourself. Sending lots of love xx

Lots8788 profile image
Lots8788

Oh lovely I am so so sorry. Big hugs and lots of love to you. We had it confirmed today by fertility clinic that have had a missed miscarriage (and off to EPU Tues again for them to confirm and advise next steps). Nothing I can say will make it better but you're not alone. Here if you want to chat x x 💕

Jessy1280 profile image
Jessy1280 in reply to Lots8788

So sorry to hear this. I just don't understand why this happens. After 8-9 weeks chance of miscarriage is just 4-5%. Are you having any symptoms? I have none at all and can't get my head around it

Lots8788 profile image
Lots8788 in reply to Jessy1280

I'm sorry lovely. I think that's one of the hardest things - not really knowing why it's happened. No none yet either. Last time I checked (Fri last week) had a very strong positive too and still have some pregnancy symptoms but I understand this is all normal in our situation. Have you talked about next steps yet? Are you off your meds yet? Xx

Italy300618 profile image
Italy300618

I'm so sorry, there are no words 😭💔 xxx

Love4spitz profile image
Love4spitz

I will say a prayer for you ... I’m really sorry

Fingerscrossed38 profile image
Fingerscrossed38

It's not fair. I don't know why this happens. Is cruel and unjust. Take all the time you need to grieve and be kind to yourself. This was nothing you did. Lean on your family and friends xx

PurplePiggie profile image
PurplePiggie

So sorry, sending lots of love and healing your way xxx

MrsH86 profile image
MrsH86

Hey

I just wanted to say I’m so sorry to read this. I had similar last month where I was told baby had passed at 8 weeks and I had seen their heartbeat at 7w+6d, I was so shocked and upset that I couldn’t even cry when they told me the news. Please be kind to yourself, let yourself cry and grieve as much as you need to and know that it does slowly get a bit better x

Coral86 profile image
Coral86

Oh I am so sorry hope ur ok 😞 so bloody unfair xxx

Oh Jessy I’m so so sorry. Heartbroken for you., it’s so unfair. Take care of yourself. I’ve been there too last year with my twins they were a little behind on dates and I found out at 9 weeks they had both stopped growing. Sending you love and strength to get through the coming days and weeks, here if you want to talk xx

Tiddly1984 profile image
Tiddly1984

So sad to read this. I’m really sorry this has happened to you and I hope you have lots of support to get through this. Big hugs...x

HelenJudi1 profile image
HelenJudi1

I’m so so sorry for your loss! xx

Dreamingofbaby profile image
Dreamingofbaby

So so sorry to hear this. Big hugs xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I’m so very sorry. I had my second mmc (well I was told it was one at a private 10 week scan) a day before my birthday so I know how absolutely devastating it is. I went to a petrol station almost completely numb and bought a packet of cigarettes and a bottle of wine. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. Heartbreaking xx

Hanbee33 profile image
Hanbee33

Am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you x x

80sDiva profile image
80sDiva

I am so sorry Jessy, we also lost our baby the other year at 10 weeks 5 days 2 days before we had our 10 weeks scan And everything was great such a strong heartbeat, sending you lots of love 💕 xxx

sun-and-rain profile image
sun-and-rain

Oh, that's just so heartbreaking 💔💔💔 The discrepancy between the clinique's dating and the EPU's dating from your first viability scans gave me some bad feelings about it, but we always want to believe the best until the opposite is proven, don't we? 😢 So sorry about this! Sending all my warmest hugs to you today ❤❤❤

Picalilli99 profile image
Picalilli99

Oh no Jessy, I’m so sad to read this. Absolutely devastated for you. We experienced similar a couple of years ago, found out at a private scan at 9 weeks that we’d had a MMC despite seeing heartbeats at earlier scans including just a week before. I can still vividly remember the total shock and confusion. Take care of yourself lovely. Sending you big hugs. We are all here for you xxx

Shelleybean profile image
Shelleybean

So so sorry to read this Jessy. What a cruel thing to happen, feel absolutely heartbroken for you. After experiencing a mmc last year I know the pain 💔 Take good care of yourself xx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5

I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s so utterly heartbreaking. I hope you have lots of love and support around you. Sending ❤️🙏xX

FrancyItaly profile image
FrancyItaly

I’m so sorry to hear this! I send you lots of love and I’m here if you want to talk x

Mara84 profile image
Mara84

I’m really sorry, I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I’ve been there and I know how awful is to experience this lost...

I do hope you are being looked after, sending you lots of love.

Lucky41 profile image
Lucky41

Sorry for your sad news plz dont give up, take care x

Hi Jessy,

I’m so sorry. The IVF world can be very hard and painful.

It Will not be easy but take your time to grieve and don’t loose your hope. You and your partner try to support each other.

Sending You a big hug!

xxx

Tywo profile image
Tywo

Sending you lots of big hug I had the same problem last week had two scans with a strong beat only for me to go for my 3 month scan baby had died since 8 weeks. I Almost died I have never cried that all my like I had evacuation and it was the most painful period in my life. Stay strong and all will be ok

Jessy1280 profile image
Jessy1280 in reply to Tywo

I'm scared to have it surgically removed as they've told me risks (although rare) include hysterectomy. I'm booked into to have it done Tuesday but I'm starting to change my mind. My oh isn't supportive and very cold about it. He's pushing me into surgical removal but I'm too scared x

Purplis profile image
Purplis

So terribly sorry Jessy1280

Just reading your post and totally 💔 for you. Please try to be kind to yourself.

Sending you lots of hugs

Core profile image
Core

So so sorry to hear this, this journey can be so cruel. Thinking of you xx

So sorry to hear this, I know you have been anxious about your pregnancy. There are no words hun, just that we are all thinking of you x

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83

I am so sorry to read this Jessy😢 thinking of you ❤️xxx

JulieOcean2 profile image
JulieOcean2

Sending you love ❤️ I had a Mmc at 12 weeks but baby stopped developing at 9 weeks so know exactly how you feel. Xx

Jessy1280 profile image
Jessy1280 in reply to JulieOcean2

What treatment did you have following mmc? I'm scared of the options I've been given

JulieOcean2 profile image
JulieOcean2 in reply to Jessy1280

I went for the medical management. I can try and help with any questions if they will help you? x

SharlyWarly profile image
SharlyWarly

No words, just understanding xxx

Jessy1280 profile image
Jessy1280

Thank you all so much for your kind messages. I just can't get my head around it. Even when I went to epu after seeing my clinic, there was a small part of me that hoped there was still a heartbeat. I just feel utterly heartbroken. I can't get past it.

2am this morning I started bleeding bright red. When I woke up its just been brown spotting and nothing since. My heart is aching. I wanted this little one so, so much and I'm terrified it'll happen again. I have one cycle left and only one made it to transfer last time. My first transfer failed in August and my second transfer was my first ever bfp in my entire life. I'm now 39. Although I have no fertility issues myself (male factor), I'm scared ill either not get pregnant again or ill lose another baby.

I'd allowed myself to dream. We already had our baby names sorted, I pictured the 12 weeks scan where I could finally tell my friends and family my exciting news, we'd talked about clearing out the second bedroom. my partner told (mainly his colleagues) and they bought me flowers, congratulated me, talked baby showers.

My dream over in a second. The day before my birthday. I feel the same grief as when I've lost family members. I don't care if I was only 9 weeks, it was mine in my body. My body has begun changing even in 9 weeks. I have no words to describe how heartbroken I am xxxx

Shelleybean profile image
Shelleybean in reply to Jessy1280

Don’t beat yourself up about how you feel honey, it’s a beautiful thing that you could allow yourself to dream and hopefully you’ll be able to look back on those precious weeks with fondness in the future. But for now maybe better to feel the pain and heartbreak than to bottle everything up and it continue to affect you/ you have to go through it all anyway at a later date. The fact you got pregnant second time around and have no fertility issues yourself are both really good indicators that this can happen for you in the future. Pregnant 2nd transfer is better than average and my clinic reassured me that most people who have a mc/mmc won’t go on to have another one in the future.

Maybe the fact that you’ve started bleeding is a sign that things are starting to happen naturally and you won’t need to make the tough decision about medical/ surgical management after all. It took me 10 days to start bleeding after stopping meds when an 8 week scan confirmed our baby (who wasn’t growing properly at 7 weeks)’s heartbeat had stopped, but then it was all over in a day or two and my own experience of natural mc really wasn’t too painful/ horrific at all.

However it happens you won’t ever forget this or your baby, but will make it to the other side to be able to continue your journey. Your dream isn’t over until you say it is. Sending you lots of love and strength 💕💕 xx

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934

So sorry, thoughts and prayers. God bless you x

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