Viability scan - in total limbo

[KTL80]

Just been for our official viability scan today. Sadly the baby has barely grown since the scan we had a week ago, and has a very sluggish heartbeat. I should be 7+4 but baby is measuring 6+1. I asked her for her honest opinion and she said it’s most likely going to end in a miscarriage. Unfortunately there is no way to know when this will happen, could be days or even weeks. For now we just wait. Got a scan in a week’s time.

I’m still clinging desperately to the fact my tiny baby’s heart is still beating but I feel like I have a tiny ticking time bomb inside of me. I just want to curl up and go to sleep until this is all over.

4 embryo transfers, first one stuck. Lost my daughter at 23 weeks last March. 2 failed FETs. Natural pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks. Then this, our last frostie almost certainly another miscarriage. I’m not sure if I can go through more of this. I want to tell my husband to go find someone who can actually carry his baby to term and make him the father he deserves to be.

[Franco81]

I am so sorry to read your post and the heartache you have been and are going through, life is just so unfair.

None of this is your fault though, so you do deserve your husband who loves you no matter what. Look after yourself and each other and I wish you strength to get through this truly difficult time x

[2-shades-of-hope]

I am so sorry, this is so incredibly unfair and awful. I was told similar previously and unfortunately it did end in a miscarriage for me. I hope that it does not for you. The wait until my next scan was incredibly difficult. I understand what you say about the bomb inside you, I felt just that way. Can you get your GP to sign you off and get access to your clinics counsellor? Xx

[Kitcat12]

Oh darling I'm so sorry, how utterly awful. I desperately hope something miraculous happens for you and your little bean catches up to where they need to be. Sending love x

[Fingerscrossed38]

Aww I'm so sorry you're having this nightmare situation happen. Can I ask if you did pgs testing on the blastocysts? Maybe look into that next time so you can eliminate chromosomal issues as the reason. You are doing your very best and your husband loves you. You will have your baby just keep at it xx

[Drives]

Reading your post broke my heart 💔 You are incredibly strong.

I'm really hoping your little one catches up and battles through. Sending lots of positive vibes 🤞🍀

[Militarywife7]

So sorry to hear this, made me quite emotional reading your story. I’ll be praying everything works out for you sweetheart. Please remember you and your husband are in this together, so try not to blame yourself ❤️ Xx

[CAS2]

Gosh I am so sorry to read this. You have been through so much. It must be so difficult for you.

I am currently 13 wks with twins and one is struggling with fluid under the skin and it's heart is likely to stop. I know what you mean about wanting to curl up into a ball and go to sleep. You get so far and then your heart is smashed into a million pieces.

Sending love and hugs. xxx

[Cinderella5]

In so sorry! So sad for you, its utter devastating to hear this and after all that you've been through! Your husband chose you, born anyone else and you'll get enough this together. Sending lots of love.xxx

[MissSaoPaulo]

This is so heartbreaking hon. I know there's nothing really anyone can say, so just sending you big hugs xxx

[Hollibob]

Sorry to read this. Don’t ever blame yourself!!

We had similar with our first round...everything in me wanted the little miracle to keep fighting, but my heart was broken as I knew what was going to happen.

I’m not sure how we keep on going, but we eventually do..maybe a little bit numb in parts!

Have you had any recurrent miscarriage testing previously? If not, might be worth asking your gp for a referral and push for karyotype testing too. Also get your other half checked for dna sperm comet as they’ve said sperm can contribute to miscarriages.

The tests came back normal.

After 3 fresh and 1 frozen rounds (2 ended in miscarriage) and 2 miscarriages prior to that, I wanted them to tell me realistically what our chances were..they said 10%.

With donor eggs 50%.

This is the route we decided on and I’m nearly 22w, but am still terrified!!

X

[Hidden]

Really sorry for what you are going through. Definitely not your fault in any way please don’t blame yourself. Really hope next week you have happier news ( or at least are out of limbo) xxx

[Vegemite]

Oh my goodness darling heart.

Please,please please don’t give up on hope and life. Your husband has chosen an amazing lady who sounds like super woman to me, don’t give up on him for choosing you xxxx

[City74]

I am so sorry to read your post. Thinking of you at this really hard time. xx

[Elynn]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have good people around you x

[Birdboy1]

My god you have been through so very much. Sending you loads of love and hugs xx

[purplerain2000]

Bless ya , this is such worrying news and difficult to get your head round. I hope and pray you have a miracle on board and this all changes for you next week xx

[Noah1981]

This just breaks my heart after all your loss and now this but who knows maybe baby will hang in there and defy all the odds I’m keeping it all crossed for you and keeping you in my prayers xxx

[KTL80]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Been back for another scan this morning. Should be 8+4. The baby has grown but is now 2 weeks behind where it should be. The heartbeat is still there but very weak. I have to carry on with all meds and wait 9 days for another scan.

This all just seems like the inevitable is being dragged out. And I feel awful for just wanting this all to be over. Life is on hold and I’m just so tired with it all.

[Kitcat12 in reply to KTL80]

Oh lovely, this must be such a difficult time for you. I really hope there are some answers around the corner for you, one way or another! x