Failed first cycle - time to count my blessings...

[ScanNoirFan]

So today my BFN was confirmed with a blood test at hospital.

This was our first cycle, using ICSI (owing to my age, 39, and my husband having had testicular cancer and chemotherapy).

We're both feeling devastated - despite being given a whopping 10% chance of it working, I'd secretly got my hopes up.

My Nana always taught me to count my blessings. Here goes!

- I'm currently in my first hot bath in over a month.

- I've eaten a creme egg this afternoon, with a cup of delicious caffeinated tea.

- No more waxy bullets up my bum three times a day.

- I can sleep with my husband again!

- On Friday, after work, I'm going to get drunk - not sure whether to go for vodka or wine. Maybe both!

- After working hard to lose weight before the treatment started, I no longer have to use 400 calories a day on a pint of blue milk.

- We are hopeful of being offered a second cycle before I turn 40 in November.

Ok - most of these are small victories. But they are positives none the less.

Lots of love to anyone else who has recently seen the single blue line of disappointment x

[Lots8788]

so sorry to hear it's a BFN. Love all the positive things mentioned above.You are very brave and strong. Wishing you lots of luck in the next part of the journey x x

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Lots8788]

That's so kind, thank you! x

[Hidden in reply to ScanNoirFan]

I’m sorry to hear that 🙈... good luck for the next one, be positive 🙏in witch hospital have you done?

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Hidden]

James Cook University Hospital in Middlesbrough x

[Lou7744]

I’m sorry to hear about your bfn. Am loving your positivity 💕 xx

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you x

[Mohini04]

I am sorry for your result. But stay strong you will get your BFP soon ! I know this is such a hard journey but , as you said , count your blessings for now. My best wishes to you for next cycle. xx

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Mohini04]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this. It is very hard. Did you have any to freeze? X

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately not, out of 9 eggs collected, only 1 made it to transfer. Maybe next time x

[Hidden in reply to ScanNoirFan]

So sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the best with getting on with the next round xx

[Shirazlover2013]

I’m so sorry you didn’t get the result you wanted, it really sucks. Despite doctors giving cautious probabilities we can’t but hope it will work eh, and you can’t give up the hope just yet you’ve got another round to press on with. I love your list of positives they are fab and raised my mood and I’m sure lots of others too 😘

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear about your news. However you’re absolutely right, it’s so important to count your blessings and looks like you’ve got a lot of them. Don’t give up. Sometimes good things take time. X

[Lyndsey_D]

I was same yesterday single line phoned hospital to let them know 4-6 weeks for follow up 💔😭 i knew tho i started bleeding last wednesday (and still bleeding now) so i knew then i had since then to get over it so bloody hard tho when theres prams newborns and bumps every where if one more person says uv 2 more chance i may punch them in face its not the point iv no frosties so its back to square 1 i was going to buy gin last night but i didnt gonna stick to healthy xx

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Lyndsey_D]

I'm so sorry we're in the same boat

My sister (who doesn't know about our issues) had a baby last weekend - talk about mixed emotions!

We've been told to chase up the follow up appointment if we haven't heard anything after 6 weeks. Seems like ages away!

I know the 'punch in the face' feeling - I got it today when HR phoned me (from within the same building) to see if I needed any support with my treatment. "As it finished yesterday, probably not thanks." 🙄

Well done for resisting the gin X

[Lyndsey_D]

Iv had a very productive day i have my 1st fertility reflexology appointment booked getting notes from hospital sent over and bought new vitamins and minerals to take reccomended by reflexologist went to her before we got refered to hospital for treatment she has great success rates had a snooze and away to have an amazing hot steamy relaxing bath 😂😂 yeah it does sound ages away but itl fly in hopefully iv a busy few weeks at work so thatl help.

[ScanNoirFan in reply to Lyndsey_D]

Ooh interesting, I might look into that.

I went back to work in the hope of forgetting about it for now. Didn't work obviously, had to try not to cry a few times!

Well done for being so proactive x

[Lyndsey_D]

Iv had longer than you i knew wednesday/ thursday it had failed i started bleeding so iv done the crying anger depression thurs fri sat

Gave myself a shake and went to work sunday monday tested tuesday phoned hopspital had a cry and went to work drove home from work had a cry last night i have felt very low today but trying to do everything i can think to help next round am thinking my embryos need a boost cos im fine scans for me fine so who knows xx

[Aisosa]

So sorry it didn’t work out this time. I’m super proud of you and just tapped into ur strength of counting positives. I pray on ur next try u will count a positive of BFP and progress till you hold ur little one. Stay positive. Sending hugs 🤗