14 days post 3 day transfer = BFN

[jengi]

Hello everyone, So today was official test day and sadly for us this journey has come to an end. Today, there is a part of me that wants to give up on this cruel rollercoaster of a ride that I never wanted to sign up to in the first place. We are sad but I know the grief will pass and when it does, I’ll come out fighting ready to move onto donor eggs. After testing this morning I wanted to crawl back into bed and sob my eyes out and just cocoon myself for the rest of the day. Instead, we went for an 8 mile hike in the sun across a beautiful range of mountains. There was just us, nobody else in sight apart from a few mountain goats. It was the peace we needed to think through all our thoughts. We must focus on the positives, we still have each other and a week left of this beautiful holiday. Thank goodness we don’t have to function at work this week as I know we’d be more than hopeless.

I want to thank you all for the amazing support you have given me during this last year. I would never have had the strength if it wasn’t for you guys cheering me from the sidelines and putting a smile back on my face on the days I thought I may never smile again. You are all truly beautiful people.

Thank you Xx

[Hidden]

I am very sorry to read this. Don't have words to express. Sorry.

My sincere prayers for you.

[jengi in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your kind words and prayers Xx

[Cinderella5]

Im really sorry for your BFN, they never get any easier! You gave it your all and that's the best we can do! Sounds like youve done the best thing and gotten out to clear the head. It maybe doesnt lessen the pain but Im glad you have found some positives in just being with each other! Big hugs lovely!xx

[jengi in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks you lovely. I’ve given it all I’ve got, time to admit defeat with my own eggs and move on when we are ready. Xx

[Hidden]

So sorry xx

[jengi in reply to Hidden]

Xx

[Lisaworthy1981]

So sorry to hear this! Bfn are so hard! Thinking of you xx

[jengi in reply to Lisaworthy1981]

XX thanks lovely

[Hoping2019]

Sorry to hear this hope you take some time to recover and take care of yourself X

[jengi in reply to Hoping2019]

Time will definitely help. We are lucky to be on holiday so can switch off from the world for a few days Xx

[Core]

So sorry to read this, I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday xx

[jengi in reply to Core]

The holiday is exactly what we need, switch off and remind ourselves who we were before this crazy journey! Xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

oh hon,that's such a shame. You've got a great attitude and I'm sure after a while to make peace with it you'll be back stronger than ever. Keep your chin up xxx

[jengi in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thanks lovely, it’ll take time to deal with it but we are in the best place to do that right now. Sunshine seems to make everything seem a bit better ☀️ Xx

[Charleexn2]

I’m so sorry xx

[jengi in reply to Charleexn2]

Thank you lovely Xx

[magda22]

Hi lovely, I'm so sorry to hear this the cycle went so well I was really crossing my fingers for you.

I'm in exactly the same place. You /we have given it our all. Its flipping exhausting and tough.

I'm taking time now, I've actually been enjoying stepping off the roller-coaster and reengaging with life and bits of myself which I had lost. It's been so tough. I'm going to take some time and maybe get my head around donor eggs, but my partner isn't keen on that. So I don't know what will happen.

I wish you so much love and strength. Well done, it sounds like you have a great partner and a brilliant attitude. I'm sure you'll get your rainbow baby one day. Much love xxx

[jengi in reply to magda22]

Exhausting..... is an understatement! Wishing you all the best with the next step of your journey. In the meantime, enjoy having the time off the rollercoaster! It’s taken us a year to get our heads around donor eggs. We had implications counselling which was the breakthrough for us. Xx

[Hidden]

Oh Jengi, I am so sorry to read this. So glad you have been able to spend the day in the way that you have. Hopefully you will be able to take time to heal, regroup and move forward again soon xx

[jengi in reply to Hidden]

Definitely! Thank you! Xx

[Doglover5]

So sorry to hear this. Nothing can console and life is unfair but I hope you get your happy ending one day soon xx

[jengi in reply to Doglover5]

So do I lovely, one day I’m sure we’ll get there! Xx

[Sweets1]

So sorry to read this, look after yourself, and each other xz

[jengi in reply to Sweets1]

Thanks Xx

[Nobabyyet]

Devastating news...really sorry to hear. Glad your away with peace from people, life and work to let you both get your head around things. Take good care of yourself and husband.xx

[jengi in reply to Nobabyyet]

It’s so lovely to have the time out to let us deal with our emotions. Xx

[Lou7744]

I’m sorry to read this, bfn’s are rubbish.

Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

[jengi in reply to Lou7744]

You can say that again! Xx

[Tugsgirl]

Bfns are so hard. It sounds like you are being so positive, getting out today was a good move, even better that you were both able to reflect by yourselves. Good luck with your donor cycle whenever you’re ready xx

[jengi in reply to Tugsgirl]

This is my first BFN, we’ve not got this far before. Time out will help heal and as you say when we are ready we’ll move on Xx

[TeenyTiny]

So sorry to see your BFN. I was thinking of you as I knew we were on our 2ww together. Mine was a bfn too 😢

Glad you made the most of your day, the hike sounded beautiful 👍 we did the same and occupied ourselves with lunch out and cinema.

Your in my thoughts hunni at this hard time. Sending you love and hopefully better success for both of us on our journeys moving forward ❤️

[jengi in reply to TeenyTiny]

Awh lovely, I’m so sorry to hear you got a BFN too. It’s bloody devastating. I wished & hoped so hard for that BFP. You take care of yourself & other half and together you’ll be ready to continue the journey. I’ll keep an eye out for your posts. Sending strength & positivity Xx

[TeenyTiny in reply to jengi]

❤️

[Ash2016]

So sorry to read this jengi- life is so unfair. Enjoy your time together away from it all and hopefully the time you have away will help you both come to terms with the result xxx

[jengi in reply to Ash2016]

Thanks lovely. So grateful to have this time in the sun together Xx

[Jonesjp]

Hunny I’m so sorry to read this but I really admire your attitude, you must be unbelievably strong (although at this very moment it mustn’t feel that way) I hope you can both enjoy the rest of your holiday spending time together just the two of you, sending much love x x x

[jengi in reply to Jonesjp]

Awh lovely, I don’t feel strong at all but glad I’m doing a good job of pretending! Thanks for your lovely words Xx

[Hollibob]

Those words are so cold and cruel to read. There’s nothing wrong in needing to cry or have a lazy day! You did very well going out and about, but glad you were together.

Look after yourself x

[jengi in reply to Hollibob]

A lazy day may be well needed when we get home! My mum is coming to visit so at least I’ve got that to look forward too Xx

[Jm82]

I'm so sorry, well done for getting out and about today. Xx

[jengi in reply to Jm82]

Thanks hun Xx

[Klndmr]

Ohh im so so sorry 😭 I was keeping all my fingers crossed for youu...Life can be so cruel sometimes... There are no words that would make you feel bettter.. Just spend some nice time with your husband and keep your head up things will get better... Sending you millions kisses and hugs hun ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[jengi in reply to Klndmr]

Thank you lovely Xx

[CC2018]

I'm so sorry. Your strength is admirable and I hope your dream comes true xx

[jengi in reply to CC2018]

One day I hope so too! Xx

[Saya85]

Oh jengi I'm so sorry to hear that

I've had a few failed cycles and to see no line or not pregnant is devastating

I hope that what I say now doesn't upset you as I don't want to confuse you but I just wanted to ask if you have only used the clear blue test?/

I only ask as they are nowhere near as sensitive as the first response tests and although by 14dp5dt you would likely get an accurate result it has often been the case that through ivf we implant later or your hcg levels are just a little lower atm.

Maybe you could do another test in a couple days to be sure before you stop ivf meds? Or your clinic can do blood tests as they are more sensitive?

But it sounds like you have a positive and strong mindset and I'm sure this will carry you through - I'm glad you have each other to get you through this

Wishing the best for you both xx

[jengi in reply to Saya85]

Thanks lovely, I did a few tests, all the same result but thanks for your advice Xx We’lol just have to keep soldering on Xx

[Niki_B]

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Glad you and hubby are away and not stuck at work at a time like this. Be kind to yourselves while you grieve through this. Big hugs xxx

[jengi in reply to Niki_B]

Thanks lovely Xx

[jm22]

Sorry to hear this xox

[jengi in reply to jm22]

Thanks Xx

[Gemz29]

So sorry to see this....

It truly is devastating, I’ve had a few failed months of clomid & failed ivf so understand the struggle. Take some time for yourself 💕 xx

[jengi in reply to Gemz29]

It’s strangely reassuring that you ladies understand the pain & grieve. Wishing you lots of luck with the next stages of your journey 🤞🏻Xx

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear this jengi. Think it will be me in the same boat tomorrow. 12dp5dt tomorrow but still testing negative so I'm expecting it. Take care of yourselves.x

[jengi in reply to Hidden]

Best of luck today lovely 🤞🏻Some good news would be amazing Xx

[Hidden in reply to jengi]

Well it's confirmed. It's negative for me too. Totally gutted but it was expected. Enjoy your holiday cos it's bloody cold here!

[Den16]

Im really really so sorry 😔😢 thinking of you xxxoxooxx

[jengi in reply to Den16]

Thanks Xx

[mirah]

So sorry to hear this. I had BFN yesterday and i was disappointed and cried for couple of hours. In the afternoon i also went for walk with my OH and I felt better. Went back to work today as I thought the show must go on and for me not to think about it and move on quickly. Thinking of you my dear xxx

[jengi in reply to mirah]

I’m sad to read you had a negative result too. Well done you for soldering on and getting back to work. I hope it’s helping to take your mind off it. Best of luck with your next steps. Hugs to you Xx

[Faith27]

Awww I'm so sorry to read this Jengi! Thoughts are with you both. It's such a horrible up and down journey and I hope you get a positive end really soon lovely. Take care of yourselves ❤❤

[jengi in reply to Faith27]

Thanks hun, one day at a time. We’ll get there one day that I’m sure Xx

[Faith27 in reply to jengi]

You will xx

[Midge8]

So sorry to hear your news, can’t say anything to help but know that we’re all here for you xx

[jengi in reply to Midge8]

Those words are more than helpful, thank you Xx

[Sharonl75]

Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear your news. Glad you still got out and had a nice day. You’re strong and resilient. It just sucks that you’ve got to be. Take the time you need and come back refreshed and ready when you want.xx

[jengi in reply to Sharonl75]

It does suck but we’ll keep trooping on together! Xx

[Elynn]

So very sorry xx

[jengi in reply to Elynn]

Thanks lovely Xx

[LKT1]

Sorry it wasn’t A BFP for you. I hope you can find a way to relax and enjoy the rest of your holiday. The mountain sounds beautiful xx

[jengi in reply to LKT1]

They were beautiful. We’ve another hike planned tomorrow. I find it a great way to heal and mentally prepare for the next steps Xx

[Materialbarbie]

Sorry to hear this! Sending you all the love I have and praying that you get your happy ending!! Take time to relax and deal with things! I know how hard bfn are and how draining they are! Take it easy xxx

[jengi in reply to Materialbarbie]

They are draining and exhausting but they do show us how strong & resilient we are too! It’s important for me to have the time to deal with it otherwise I just bottle it up. In the long run that’s no use. One step at a time! Xx

[hifer]

So so sorry to read this. I wish you strength in your onward journey and hope you can try and enjoy the rest of your holiday x

[jengi in reply to hifer]

Thanks hun, one step & one day at a time! Xx

[Hidden]

Really sorry for the BFN. Wishing you better luck for your next round 🤞🏻✨❤️xoxo

[jengi in reply to Hidden]

Thank you my lovely Xx

[IVFGirlLondon]

So incredibly sorry to hear this. It’s so unfair and crazy this journey and you’ve been such a warrior woman! Sending prayers and hugs. Whichever way your path goes, you’ll be ok xxx

[jengi in reply to IVFGirlLondon]

Thank you hun. One step at a time.....

[L2D2]

I’m really sorry to hear this news. Time is our only friend to process emotions, not that it ever feels easy. I hope you and your partner can gain strength over time and can then consider your options and what you want for the future. Warm wishes with you now x

[jengi in reply to L2D2]

Thank you lovely Xx

[Drives]

So sorry to read this 😔

I hope you found some peace on your hike. Sendjng lots of love 💕

[jengi in reply to Drives]

Thanks lovely. It was truely beautiful Xx

[waitingg]

I'm so sorry to hear this jengi, it is so hard. Thinking of you both.

My acupuncturist told me 'you will get there, everyone just has a different journey'. She's a very direct lady who doesn't mince her words so I always remind myself of that when i'm having a wobble xx

[jengi in reply to waitingg]

Thanks! My acupuncturists keeps telling me ‘One day you WILL be a mum’, I cry every time she says it. I hope & wish so hard that she is right Xx

[gattonero]

<3