48 years old, desperate and sad looki... - Fertility Network UK

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48 years old, desperate and sad looking for help conceive

joejoe123 profile image

Hi ladies out there

I left it very late to try for baby because of the circumstances and now have been trying from 46 with natural modified IVF. But so far no healthy egg can be collects and Doctor told me time to give up, well in gentle way reminding my age. She probably right as my period become irregular and getting less bleeding. Menopause is around the corner I guess. As all know in UK after 45, most of the clinic don't even accept me to look at it anymore.

Have anybody ever try Ovarian rejuvenation in Greece? Or anybody has any other experience, please can you shed the light.

I know I am to be the blame and blaming it myself and feel like saddest person on the planet.

24 Replies

First of all don't blame anyone or anything. You are where you are now and regretting the past is not going to help. I have no experience of the rejuvenation thing but I have opted for the donor egg route as I wasn't getting anywhere with my own. It's usually quicker to go abroad too. Good luck and I hope you getnyour bfp soon xxx

joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to Camillage

Thank you Camillage, It is tearing me apart and couldn't pick up myself yet. Never realized this will be the saddest thing in life.

Camillage profile image
Camillage in reply to joejoe123

Hi Joejoe

It is the hardest thing. And we spend our lives learning about how not to get pregnant. This world of trying and realising it's not that easy is so so hard. But please don't beat yourself up. You need to be as positive as you can be. You have made the decision to become a mother and so you now need to focus on how to make that happen.

Have you had counselling? I found that an immense help. And also the donor eggs thing has really turned my life around. I am now 14 weeks pregnant. Xx

joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to Camillage

Oh wonderful, how lucky you are. I wasn't sure how I will feel with donor egg. I should start looking into it.

Camillage profile image
Camillage in reply to joejoe123

I really don't think about it that much. My desire to be a mother is greater than any trepidation of how I get there. And they have now said that epigenetics plays a part so that puts my mind even more at ease. At the end of the day I will give birth to my child. I have used a bit from elsewhere to get there, much as we take donor organs or blood when needed.

Also, when I was joking with my midwife about being a geriatric mother (I am 42) she looked at me deadpan and declared that there are lots of couples in their 50s locally who are becoming parents so not to be so silly.


joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to Camillage

That is really encouraging Camillage. Many thanks. I am far behind that journey and now feel like these things are out of my control and helpless. Sorry I am only mentioning how depress I am.

Camillage profile image
Camillage in reply to joejoe123

Of course you are. There is light at the end of the tunnel. And we are all here to help x

joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to Camillage

Thank you for the comfort Camillage.

Its not your fault, these things happen. I havent tried the option that you are suggesting but I have heard a bit about it, it doesnt seem awfully popular on here but it has been mentioned before. I know its a tough decision to think about but have you thought about donor eggs....apologies if you find that harsh suggestion, no offence intended. Im doing DE treatment in Athens and the success rates give us a pretty good shot at a successful pregnancy but no guaranteed. I didnt meet someone until I was in my mid 30's, tried 3 cycles with my own eggs at around the age of 38 but sadly couldnt achieve pregnancy so switched over to DE just before I turned 40. Best of luck! Im not sure if you have tried the forum fertility friends but Ive seen a few ladies discuss this on there too.xx

Thank you Cinderella. I will try the fertility friend forum. 40 is still so much younger than me. I took the granted these things and price is massive to pay thinking all my life I will be worthless woman with no kids.

I know what you mean, we took it for granted that I would be ok in my thirties but it seems to be more common than you realise using DE. There are quite a few of us in our 30s & 40s on here that have had to go down the donor route. Whilst I do know of a few ladies in their 40's that have had success the numbers are fairly thin on the ground and Ive been on here for around 3 years now.xx

Hi joejoe,

I hear your pain, It is so, so sad facing the possibility of never having a biological child. I don't know how anyone gets over it.

It may take some time, but thinking about donor eggs could be the answer to your prayers. This can give you a way to be a mother and to have your baby. I was told 50-60% chance of pregnancy with DE. I'm starting to think about this more and more seriously, because my body's response to ivf has not been very good.

To help cope with the sadness and explore if you would use donor eggs, councilling is very useful. I think there is also a lot of information on the donor conception network website too.

And on this forum you can talk with women thinking the same things or who have already been through the process.

Much love x

Sorry to hear it worked out that way and it’s still a struggle to accept. You shouldn’t blame yourself at all, as life writes its own scenarios and we can’t control everything what happens to us.

I hope that you find some information about the ovarian rejuvenation and that you come to accept whatever life brings. Best wishes x

Thank you Kari. Ovarian rejuvenation is still in trial and we don't know side effect yet. They said it's safe but who knows. I really need to calm down and need to accept the fact that I am out of the game.

Hi Joejoe,

Please don’t dismay and don’t be too harsh on yourself. What is your AMH? I have a very low AMH so biologically my ovaries are that of a 45+ women. I will be moving to donor eggs if the current NHS funded IVF/ICSI cycle is not successful. It’s taken me a year to get my head around using donor eggs but my chances of success will go from less than 10% to 50% if I do. We want to be parents more than anything and time is not on our sides and I’d be so sad if we couldn’t become a mum & dad. My husband wants to be a dad so bad and so I think of him. We don’t have much money so we need to be realistic and sensible about how we approach it. We will move to a private clinic abroad for donor egg cycle. We have had implications counselling which I’ve found useful and I’ve been in touch with the donor family network. If you want to ask me any questions then please feel free to private message me. Xx

Hi, I think you still have many options. From what I know IVF clinics in Greece and Ukraine offer IVF DE for ladies who are 50+. If you do not consider going donor eggs route, you might consider undergoing IVF PGS NGS, that is recommended for ladies who are 40+ to increase their chances of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby. And yes, a daughter of my neighbour is doing mesotherapy treatment to ovaries (ovarian rejuvenation), but in Poland, as she has read that a clinic has excellent results. Hope this helps x

joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to alockie

Hi Alockie

Thank you. I am starting to think about DE option. Initially sounds so strange to me. But I have to face the reality as time is not on my side anymore. I wasted enough trying this and that and so and so.... . Suddenly I can see the 50 is around the corner and nothing is happening.

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13 in reply to joejoe123

With donor eggs, your age becomes irrelevant and your chance of having a baby rockets! X good luck on your journey x

There's nothing to worry about! Chances are slim, for sure. However, there is still hope! Yeah, I doubt you'll get the help you need in England. There are clinics in Eastern Europe that take such cases. Why don't you try that out? Greece is a good option, but so is Ukraine. I'd suggest you check out the clinics. Take your time in finding the right one. Don't think too much and go for it! Good luck to you. If you need help finding a clinic, hit me up. Sending lots of love. You can do this! Keep us posted, if you can!

joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to Gertiee

Thank you Gertiee.

I am now seriously thinking to take the DE option.

Lovely this is a difficult journey for anyone but as a 43 year old the ticking age bomb makes it more difficult and more desperate. My AMH was so low something I hadn’t prepared myself for but went straight to donor eggs. We did this first because my chance if having healthy eggs was very low, the emotional impact of trying with my own eggs and in effect having to relive the fact that they weren’t going to be ok was too much and also the financial aspect we couldn’t do everything.

First transfer got bfp but lost it at 6 weeks. Second transfer bfn and third transfer bfp and 20 weeks now with everything crossed that it will be ok. All transfers done within 9 months. Hope that gives you hope. Wishing you all the very best xxx

Hi joejoe, I read your post and felt I could have written it myself. I feel very much the same and the sadness of knowing that the most important thing you want and cannot have is overwhelming. My sadness increased with the fact that I was expecting a baby at the age of 44, but unfortunately lost it at 8 weeks. There was no rainbow baby. Like you 50 is just around the corner and still no progress. However, I would say never give up on your dreams, I haven't. There are so many advances in IVF and the possibility of using DE is such a good idea. I am also looking into that option. I wish you all the best and hopefully our sadness will turn to joy,, whatever the future holds x

joejoe123 profile image
joejoe123 in reply to Chamilia

Thank you Chamilia. The pain is unbearable. All material stuffs that I thought essential in life became meaningless.

Camillage profile image
Camillage in reply to joejoe123

I hope you have some options now? As others have said, donor eggs takes away any age problems. I wish you both all the best, it's not over yet xxx

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