Anxious about infertility and IVF

[88giraffe]

I am 30 years old and been ttc for about 2 years. We’ve recently been referred for IVF due to male subfertility and I’m feeling extremely anxious about the whole situation and have had to take some time off work due to the symptoms of my anxiety. 3 of my close friends have recently announced their pregnancies (one in a fairly insensitive way 😔), which is making it a bit more difficult to confide in my friends.

My husband is dealing with everything really well and doesn’t seem to ‘get’ how I feel.

Any advice/ reassurance/ sharing of experiences would be much appreciated.

Thanks

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi giraffe. Well it's good to see that you are going to go ahead and have IVF. It is difficult when your friends are

having babies around you, but we can't do much about that. Perhaps seek some counselling when you go to the clinic and attend a support group. The girls on here will support you too, I know. Good luck! Diane

[88giraffe in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you for your reply. I have sought some counselling through work so am hoping that this will help me to cope a bit more easily. 👍🏻

[Sfarre]

Yes I can relate to what you are experiencing - it doesn't feel real does it? I remember very well sitting in a coffee shop completely shell-shocked that we were being referred to the assisted conception unit, and that was only about 6 months ago now. Take it all one step at a time - there are steps to go down this road, but you will get there. It can feel pretty overwhelming - particularly information overload - again, just take on what you can as you go along. Searching on here for particular topics as they arise might be helpful.

It's so hard when friends do not have the experience of infertility, it is very difficult for them to understand what you are going through, no matter how compassionate they might be. I find that unless someone has also experienced infertility and IVF, then they can never truly 'get' it. I have found this forum to be so, so helpful to make some new virtual friends who are 'in the same thing' together. I hope you find it useful too.

Please do take good care of yourself. What really helped me is to focus on being as healthy and active as I could be, to help my chances of success. It's a rotten time of year due to the cold and lack of light, but make sure you get out for walks and find some hobbies that help to take your mind off these things. Meditation is really great too.

Best of luck to you xx

[88giraffe in reply to Sfarre]

Thank you for your reply. You are right it doesn’t seem real and I am struggling to find anyone who really understands. Living in a small rural town means that any support groups etc are over an hours drive away which is why I’ve come online for support. It does help to know there are people out there feeling the same!

Thanks for your encouraging advice. Best of luck to you too xxx

[Lyn84]

I had my actual ivf consultation last week and i was so nervous as i sat there waiting i felt like just running out of there and as things things still seem to be going full steam ahead i said to my partner last night that i was terrified he said of what i said everything its a lot to go through I've had moments all week where i have doubted if i was up to it all but I'm persevering

[88giraffe in reply to Lyn84]

I think I’ll be the same! It’s just such a hang on between referrals and appointments that you have too much time to think and get nervous. We just have to keep in mind the, hopeful, end product to keep us going through it! Xxx

[2-shades-of-hope]

You will amaze yourself with how strong you are. I’ve realised I’m much tougher than I thought I was. I would really recommend counselling if that’s something your clinic offer xx