BFN- DEVASTATED: For those of you who... - Fertility Network UK

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BFN- DEVASTATED

Georgie17
Georgie17

For those of you who followed my earlier post following my incubation failure, change of clinic for implantation and the transfer of 2 frozen embryos, I wanted to share my devastating news that the test this morning was negative. I really thought this was it but wasn't meant to be. We had two top grade blasts and I was put on lubion,clexane and did neupogen and intralipids but none of these seemed to have helped. I'm at a loss at what to do next. Any advise would be welcome. Should I be asking the clinic for more tests before we try again or change clinic altogether. I don't know what's wrong and why it's not worked. I had all my hoped pinned on this one. I know many of you will understand this feeling xx

18 Replies
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Oh Georgie I am so sorry to read this, sending you so many hugs. I think you need some time to absorb and deal with upset and grief, this journey is so hard.

I can't really give advice on the clinic except your gut will probably tell you. I dont think mine is the most advanced in the world but its not for profit which I like and they are a bunch of really lovely people. I feel comfortable and looked after there and dont feel like they are running off with my money. That at the moment is really important to me - particularly the feeling looked after. If you feel your clinic is helping you to the max I would stay but if you have a niggling feeling you aren't getting the best care or something is wrong then I would maybe assess your options.

So sorry it hasn't worked out for you xx

Georgie17
Georgie17
in reply to Daisy1245

Thank you for your kind words. I will take some time to process it all. I do like my consultant and the clinic but keep feeling as if I need to explore alternatives for a change. I'll speak to my consultant and will assess things after Christmas. Xx

Sorry to hear that Georgie, its hard getting BFN's especially when we've put really good grades back....Ive had 4 BFN's so far but your expectations are raised when you have very good embryos, we were so disapointed our excellent ones didnt work. I have seen a few ladies say their best ones havent worked though. From what you have said you clinic are trying all they can. For me I feel like IVF is just one big lottery and its getting that lucky break which unfortunately can mean a numbers game and some of us are awfully unlucky. Do you have any frosties left? Perhaps you could suggest a hysteroscopy to check there is nothing untoward going on with you if you havent had this already - they found I had scar tissue in my uterus that needed removed. Big hugs.xx

P.S The only othe thing that Im trying this time is prednisolone along with intralipids. My clinic say there's not much evidence to support this but they were happy enough for me to give it a bash.

My very best ones didn’t work either and although I’ve had three bfps I’ve also experienced three bfns and losing an embryo at the defrost stage so I know the disappointment of a bfn. I second the suggestion of a hysteroscopy. Perhaps it may shed a little light? Don’t make any rash decisions about your clinic though; go to your follow up appointment and see what they have to say. Perhaps in the new year you could book a few appointments with new clinics, just to put the feelers out. My clinic, for example, do free open evenings. Perhaps you could look into going to some of those. Sorry for your bfn xx

Georgie17
Georgie17
in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you tugsgirl, I know it is a hard journey and I will take my time and speak to my clinic before making any decisions. I'll ask about the hysteroscopy as this is something I haven't had done. Xx

Thank you. This was my last attempt with my final two frosties. I'll have to have a fresh cycle and start the process again but will take time to process it all. I did try prednisolone on my 4th attempt but I didn't take to it too well. I had intralipids on this round which was fine. Sometimes it's nice to feel that you are trying everything you can so good luck to you. Xx

Sorry to hear of your BFN. They are so awful. Make sure you get follow up advice and that you take care of yourself xx

Georgie17
Georgie17
in reply to HollieW

Thank you xx

I’m so sorry Georgie, BFN’s are so difficult. Take sometime for yourself and take care of you. In the meantime what has the clinic said about the implantation failure?

Have you tried fertility acupuncture?

Georgie17
Georgie17
in reply to Smang

I'm due to see my consultant in the new year so I'll find out more then. Thank you xx

I’m so sorry about your BFN. My top embryo also didn’t work and I haven’t got the answers why. I’m wondering whether I should try to take steroid next time. Take your time and maybe consider some counselling, it has really helped me. Lots of love xx

Georgie17
Georgie17
in reply to Kari55

Thank you. I did try steroids on my 4th transfer which was a frozen cycle but I didn't take well to them as they didn't make me feel too great. Do give them a try if you haven't before as it may help. All the best xx

I’m so sorry xxx I’ve had 4 BFNs with day 5 blasts so far so know how you’re feeling. I give you a virtual hug. We have to pick ourselves up and keep going xxx

Thank you. I appreciate that. My husband has said that we have to keep going and I'll have to find the right motivation. I'm just too sad to think about doing it all again but I know I will as having a child means everything to me. I'll pick myself up and plan for my 6th attempt. Thanks xx

So sorry to hear your news especially given the recent problems you had with the lab.

Sometimes we can throw everything at it and it was just never meant to be. The embryos may just not have been viable or it just didn't implant for no particular reason .

It's hard to accept fate sometimes when we are literally throwing all our eggs in one basket !

Tomorrow we are going for our transfer and I'm on prednisolone clexane lubion and a couple others. My thyroid is well controlled I feel really well and hopeful but I am conscious that it could just as easily not work and there not be any reason why.

I feel better knowing I've thrown everything at it this cycle and maybe a future cycle will just click and work! It's a numbers game and you've got to be in it to win it (!) And so that does mean repeated cycles.

I took a lot of time off in between cycles to get my head around it and prepare my body for it.

Take the time over the festive period to heal and pamper and enjoy yourself as much as you can. It will help you move forward hopefully in the new year

Good luck to you xx

Thank you. I will rest up and enjoy christmas before thinking about next steps. I know it will happen but I'm not patient enough for this process especially when others are eager for us to have a child. I feel like I'm carrying mine and all their pressure on my shoulders each time. I'll try and take some time as I know you are right that it can help to have a new perspective. I wish you all the luck for tomorrow and your tww. Keep us posted on how you get on xx

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