Viability scan not good news

[TRYING2016]

I have had my viability scan, no heart beat detected.................today I would be 7wks 3 days I have to go back next week to rescan. babies only measuring 2.9mm the gastation sack is perfect, yolk sac everything but no heartbeat. I feel so heavy hearted and sad I cant say and im back at work because as usual no one bloody understands ivf and for them everything will be ok.................what a heartbreak

[HollyT7]

Awww hun my heart goes out to you. Could it just be a little early for the little bean? You know where I am if you need to vent Xxxx i truly hope the second scan shows something positive for you. Your doing amazing just remember that xxxxxxxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to HollyT7]

I don't think its too early I think my little baby just stopped growing, its measuring 2.9 which the nurse said is really small

[HollyT7 in reply to TRYING2016]

I will literally keep everything crossed for you xxxx

[WaywardGirl]

I’m so so sorry to hear this. We all understand on here, but I know what you mean about other people just not getting it.

I have everything crossed for your re-scan xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to WaywardGirl]

xxxxxx

[Hidden]

Devastating news......do take time off if you are struggling. Xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

thank you, I think im going to keep going until next week, I still have a little hope I really wish its better next week or is this me being stupid? xxx

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

No not at all! It is so early anything could happen. Try to take it easy until the next scan. Xxx

[Cinderella5]

Oh no, Im so sorry you're going through this! What a horrendous agonising wait you're facing. Huge hugs at this hellish time sweets.xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Cinderella5]

xxxx

[genten]

So sorry for your news. Hoping the re-scan next week brings you positive news. xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to genten]

I hope it does but at the same time im thinking will it??? xx

[genten in reply to TRYING2016]

This is the thing, you really don't know until its proven and you won't know 100% until next week unless the nurse specifically said there is no chance? It's just awful and my heart goes out to you.

My line manager is not the most understanding either but if you feel like you'd prefer to be at home then I say make an excuse and go, you've been through enough. xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to genten]

the problem is when you tell your manager your going through ivf, then explaining what your appointments are for, then keep listening to 'it will be ok, if you look on the positive side' etc. Then its 'oh how did your scan go' 'everything will be ok next week'. im sorry im off loading to you im very sorry. I just feel so emotional right now, and I feel work have been supportive don't get me wrong but just expect to bounce back just like that. another girl had nearly 2 month's off in February because her father passed away shes managed to get another month off because shes still stressed, shes spending that month in turkey because it will do her good, baring in mind she did the same thing in june. But its ok, I just feel like leaving work and walking out.

[genten in reply to TRYING2016]

That's true, I totally get you. At times we want to tell people what's going on so they can understand but unless they have been through it, they will never understand. And off load away! Feel free, we are all here together and can hopefully help each other out

I see, well we all have our issues/family life to contend and your teammate seems to be able to have time off as she needs it and I think that if you are feeling upset and wanting to walk out then maybe you could call in sick tomorrow and give yourself some breathing space and see how you feel. I don't advise walking out personally (I've done that once before and almost landed myself in trouble) but I understand why you want to.

Here any time you need to chat xx

[Hidden in reply to genten]

I will never understand truly why people think it is ok to ask about every scan etc. It makes me kind of feel like I am describing a process that someone else is going through. I try to tell people that it's kind of like asking (when you know people are trying) if they had sex last night and when they will test to see if it worked. I mean - you wouldn't ask even your closest friend that. Why would I give every detail of exactly when and how every procedure has gone. And on top of that, asking when I am being pumped full of goodness knows how many hormones..... sorry, rant over xxxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

That is the best way to put it, thank you xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to genten]

I wish i could walk out sometimes when you have so much going on its not like you can focus anyway lol thank you so much xxx

[genten in reply to TRYING2016]

I know, our heads are in a spin with the worry, treatments and outcome of tests etc.

It's not right that people think they can ask any question they feel like regarding scans or anything else for that matter. I'm kind of having that issue myself at the moment with two ladies in work, they know I started a cycle in Feb and that I had to wait for Lap and that I will be starting a frozen cycle (I've started but I'm not telling them) and they keep asking "when are you starting again and have the clinic called?" and all other general queries, part of it is because they care and they do want me to be successful in treatment and the other side is that they just can't help themselves. They probably think they are being supportive but get me on a wrong day, I just think they are nosy! I initially told a couple of people to ease my burden at work and also as I'm 34 and they kept asking if I wanted children and am I trying so I thought it would be easier to tell them the truth. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here but just supporting you and want you to know that you're not alone. xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to genten]

I completely understand, and it all makes sense its only really us ladies on here that know what we are talking about!!!! im just going to stay quiet the next time I start again...........I thought it would be easier telling and I did realise there will question asking but I guess I was never ready x

[Barbara1012]

Oh lovely am so sorry to read your news.

Please take some time off work if you need it - work can sod off. Sending you lots of love xxx

[LegoBatgirl]

So sorry to hear that you've been through so much. Everyone here supports you and understands, take time for yourself if you need it- work isn't as important as your health and mental health x

[magda22]

So much love xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

This, is so 💩 I'm so sorry hun thinking of you and sending you lots of love and hugs 💝😘

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through a miscarriage last year & it’s truly heartbreaking. I think you should get your GP to sign you off; I did as I wasn’t up to working. Put yourself first. Again really sorry you’re going through this xoxo

[TRYING2016]

I don't know whether I should have any hope for next week, I just wanted the nurse to be honest with me first time she said its too early to detect a heartbeat and we will see one next week, then she said the babies measuring way too small and we will discuss your next steps when your ready. we will give you a call! next steps????? I wasn't over the shock I was pregnant and to learn I've miscarried, I have no words just feel so so so sad........

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

I wish there was something I could say to make it feel better. My experience was different as baby wasn’t there. I really hope you get better news next week. xoxo

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

thank you xxx

[Hidden]

I am soooo sorry 😢 I feel so emotional just reading this. This journey is sooo bloody difficult and soo unfair. Hugs to you both, time is a healer xxx

[kumkums]

I am so sorry its not good news for you. Let's hope and pray you get to see the heartbeat at your next scan. Please keep well.

[Tugsgirl]

I’m so sorry to read this. Truly. And im sorry that you have so little support at work xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Tugsgirl]

thank you so much, I hope everything is ok with you xx

[Tugsgirl in reply to TRYING2016]

I’m ok. Get yourself to the gp and get yourself signed off sick. Stuff work xx

[Hidden]

Oh I'm so sad to read this, so heart breaking. Isn't there anyone you can speak to at work about having a bit of time off? Thinking of you xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

hey I hope your ok, im definitely going to have time off, I really need it all this process has drained me but I want to stick out until next week im hanging onto thread I hope theres some miracle xxxx

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

You do need to take the time for yourself. This is such an emotional time. Be kind to yourself. And stuff work! Xx

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

I hope you can get the space you need to process this. Really hoping that next week bring better news xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much xx

[Anya80]

Im so sorry 😢 being myself in similar situation (miscarriage at 12wks, baby stopped growing after 7wks1) I don’t know what is better being pregnant and loose or having failed cycle....I hope there is still chance for your baby💗

[TRYING2016 in reply to Anya80]

hey its such a heart breaking process and I truly agree, I really hope so xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I’m so sorry. Xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

xxx

[Hidden]

I'm really sorry, you sound like you're doing incredibly well considering the awful day you're having. I agree with everyone else, sod work - get home and look after yourself xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

Im not doing well honestly 😌😔

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

Just wanted to say hi, I hoe you're doing as well as you can be just now. Thinking of you lots xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

Hello, thank you for thinking of me, feeling incredibly down and emotional but im holding hope for next week, i just hope theres a miricle xxx

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

Take care of yourselves the best you can and if you ever need a chat please don't hesitate. I'm very good at listening and also talking nonsense if you need your mind taking off things. Lots of hugs xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much xxxxx

[Aleelilook]

I’m so sorry, definitely the best thing to take some time off and be kind to yourself. It really can be so heartbreaking this journey, please know you can offload all you want, we understand xxxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Aleelilook]

Thank you so much x

[Penders]

I'm so very sorry. Sending lots of love and big hugs xxx

[Kyell2]

I’m so sorry. What an awful thing to have to go through. Sending hugs xx

[Binky1983]

I’m sorry to hear this. I would take some time off work, it’s such a hard time and even if you think you know the outcome the wait can take it’s toll. When it’s happened to me I took time off as I just couldn’t think straight while I was waiting to find out for sure. The waiting was so much harder to deal with than the finding out I found. Xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Binky1983]

It’s exactly how i feel, i feel so much sadness. What will be the outcome thats what i keep thinking and if its not positive how will i get better, sorry to your hear your loss its such a heartbreaking journey xx

[Binky1983 in reply to TRYING2016]

If it’s not good news you will get through it. It’s hard but you will. I’ve had two now unfortunately and each time I have reacted differently but I’ve come out the other side. I’m sad at times but on the whole I’m happy. Just don’t bottle up how you’re feeling.

It is such a heartbreaking journey, when you’re struggling to conceive in the first place you don’t think about what happens when you actually get pregnant and that it might not last. Xx

[MrsH007]

So sorry to hear this. ❤️

[Devj]

So so sorry to hear this. What an absolute s**t time fo you. Sorry you haven’t got support at work. Hope you can take some time off work to have some time out for yourself.

Really hope things turn around and next week brings some good news. Thinking of you xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Devj]

Thank you for your message, I really hope so too. I have hope to be honest although i am heartbroken x

[CC2018]

Hoping for better news at your follow up scan. Saying prayers for you xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to CC2018]

Thank you xx

[vic77]

I am so so sorry😢😢I say get to gp..take time off..this is too awful and emotional a wait. .you need to be away from work and focused on you and what comes next xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to vic77]

Thank you vic77 xxxxx