the dreaded day 1 of the period - Fertility Network UK

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the dreaded day 1 of the period


painful heavy period is a real kicker isn't it. I was so hopeful after the lap & dye things would work, sort of reset it all flush out.

I find it difficult to post on here most of the time, although I want to. I do feel comforted reading the posts and responses, as you are such an encouraging bunch. I would feel completely alone in this if it weren't for you guys sharing.

I'm going through a really dark patch. It just hurts so much I don't know what to do with myself, I am doing things to combat it for an hour here or there with activities, cooking, exercise etc so I am trying to take care of my self.

I have felt so bad this weekend, the thoughts in my head have been along the lines of I don't actually know if I want this anymore, getting pregnant I mean, the pain associated to it is so unbearable and has taken over.

I've just started therapy so i am trying to deal with it, as I want my life back.

Night everyone

8 Replies

Please take comfort in knowing that myself and the lovely people on this board know exactly what you are going through, lean on people in this group for support, this has helped me immensely these last few weeks where some days I can't see any light at all. This rollercoaster ride of emotions is so difficult, you'll have good and bad days and eventually will have enough clarity to carry on. You are stronger then you think. Take care of yourself X

LaurajaneF in reply to Abaco

Thank you so much for your kind words. Such a roller coaster yes! The unpredictability of the whole thing is so unsettling isn't it? I had a look on your posts, did you manage to find a therapist yet to talk to?

I ended up going private through BACP and selecting ones who deal with fertility. Some therapists do numbers of places at lower rates, so they arent all stupidly expensive.


Abaco in reply to LaurajaneF

Totally agree it is the unpredictable nature that is really unsettling! I think one of the worst things too is the waiting around too, waiting for appointments, cycles to start, results to come back, all so very frustrating! I looked at the BACP website and found a couple of counsellors that I thought I might be comfortable with but I also confided in a couple of friends at the weekend and they have been brilliant, I am also meeting up this week with someone who has been through it, I think maybe this might be all the counselling I will need but we shall see. All the very best to you and please keep in touch, I find it so helpful to talk to people on here and I'm here if you need me! Take care X

LaurajaneF in reply to Abaco

Ah good, I'm glad the friends have helped you! Ugh, waiting ...waiting... we are having a nightmare with waiting for my husband's 2nd results, they've disappeared (1st were normal, they just need the second text for ticking boxes I think). I'm waiting to start Clomid in a couple of months, then it will be a wait for the GP and a referral! So much waiting indeed.

Thanks so much though, and same to you! Take care

Hello, I’d agree with what Abaco says. It’s easy to think “I’m having a bad day”, but it’s exactly those days you find minutes if relief, distraction, calm when you have to crow bar those moments to be a bit longer to make it a not-so-bad day. You’re doing the right things by doing what makes you happy like cooking, exercise etc. Just keep on doing that and you’ll soon find the moments of coping (or not noticing) are better. I like watching TV, Films, doing puzzles, board games, online scrabble, writing letters to friends and family, cooking, planning home improvements, making cards, phoning family, and of course work. And working from home makes this a whole lot easier at times. I hope your period eases up and you start to feel like a new, stronger version of you when you emerge. X

LaurajaneF in reply to KEndo16

Hello there. Thanks for your encouragement! I love that 'crow bar' it really is about brute force!

Period is so heavy again after the lap&dye! I'm sure it will ease off in a day or two.

I'm fortunate my husband is very understanding, he has chronic health issues so hes a pro at the mentality of looking after yourself.

Puzzles thank you - that reminds me I should buy a puzzle roll so I can make some space in my flat to do a puzzle! Now we are heading for autumn, I can make myself cosy indoors with a puzzle.

I am fortunate that I partly work from home too. I'm freelance, and recently I'm quite lacking in drive to pursue new work... and lazy in responding to current contacts. I need to be careful!

I see you've start IVF , how are you finding it?


KEndo16 in reply to LaurajaneF

Sounds like you’ve got friends and a partner who are supportive, that is worth so much, isnt it? I’m in the Scan and blood test stage of IVF, short protocol. Not overwhelmingly optimistic, but if I didn’t try then I think I’d be in more of a state. I’m having massages, acupuncture and to be honest I’m looking forward to getting my salary back at the end of it all!

Good luck. X

LaurajaneF in reply to KEndo16

Yes, partner is great, I know not everyone has that. Friends are so so... but they are doing there best I think.

Gosh, what does short protocol mean? I need to read a book on IVF and decide If I want to pursue it...its all a bit of a foreign language!

Good luck to you too!


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