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Follow up appointment yesterday; should I stay or should I go? (Another essay sorry) 😂

Yesterday we had our follow up appointment at our clinic. I admit that we found it a more positive experience than we’d thought it would be. Initially I was emotional as I had it in mind that not only should we have been there in different circumstances (7 week scan if the last round had worked or taking our baby to meet staff maybe) but also that it would probably be our last visit as we’ve been planning to go to a new clinic later in the year. However, chatting with a Doctor about our plans we were surprised to learn that our clinic only charges about a thousand more than the new one. Ok so a thousand pounds is still a lot of money but nowhere near as expensive as we thought. There are pros and cons to both clinics now, price being one factor but we do really like our clinic. They know us so well; everyone is so nice, we are comfortable there, they know my history, how I’ll respond to drugs and what protocol is best for me. They’ve changed the procedure for EC so that I would be “out of it” next time (last time I was awake). Time lapse imaging, embryo glue and culturing blastocysts onto day five is included in the overall price. They did suggest us giving pgs a thought as it’s the only thing we’ve never done but we are reluctant to commit to that as financially it’s all dependant on how many embryos you’re left with and it would be a freeze all cycle. Pgs, with a good number of embryos, could be potentially very expensive indeed. But that is assuming we get a good number of course... And of course Tommy’s widely believe our mmcs are due to lupus anticoagulant not genetics. The Doctor was keen to point out just how well we’d done, how well I’d responded to stims, what good numbers of blastocysts we’d had, what good grades they’d been.. And of course if we could find a way financially, there’s no waiting list! Our clinic statistically has the best results in the area. It’s white and clean and shiny. And I know it sounds petty but there’s no issues with parking at our clinic! OH needs a disabled bay and the new clinic is a nightmare for parking! On the other hand, staying here is more expensive. If we had to have a fet that is also more expensive. The clinic is further from home than the new one. We did not feel swayed or pressured in any way to stay with our clinic yesterday. We truly felt like they just wanted what was best for us.

The new clinic is cheaper. A fet is cheaper. A fresh perspective may be a good thing. A new approach might be a good thing. We can have a scratch and embryo glue and development to blastocyst stage, and still the price is overall a bit cheaper than where we are now. It is closer to home. Statistically it is consistent with the national average. Interestingly the Doctor we saw at our clinic yesterday had worked with the Doctor at the new clinic years before and highly recommended him. He seems very nice and competent. It is underneath the Tommy’s clinic so it’s possible our appointments can be combined. The downside of this new clinic is that there’s a waiting list. It’s an nhs clinic and looks a little tired. I don’t get the same feel for it. We’d have to get to know everyone all over again and vice versa. A new clinic is a scary prospect. They don’t offer time lapse imaging. Parking is a nightmare.

So, what would you do? Of course we have some time to make our decisions and we have to get the financial side in order so there’s no immediate rush, but after yesterday we just don’t know what to do; stay? Or go?

Vicky xx

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Hello! I hope your doing ok? I think that you have pretty much listed on pros and cons of both clinics but I suppose my question is what is your gut telling you? Your instinct is there for a reason, whichever clinic it is, go with the one that gives you the good belly feeling. On a personal note, we have been to four clinics over the course of our treatments, I can honestly say that the not so shiny one was the one where we were given a most honest and caring service. Try to remember it is a business for them but it’s the quality of care that matters for you both. The car parking issue can be worked around, have a word with the clinic see what they say xxxx

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Hi Sweet think you need to go with your gut feeling however knowing the not so shiny clinic your referring too I can honestly say you would be in good hands, it may not be as personal as your original clinic but you’ll soon get to know some of the staff and I found by the end of my treatment I’d built up close relationships with a couple of staff members and felt really at ease every time I went. The waiting list wasn’t that long either we started treatment pretty much straight away. It’s understandable that because of your positive experience and history with your first clinic the temptation to stay with them is high - a difficult decision for you really x

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They told us a few weeks ago that they were thinking of us doing a fresh cycle in November! I was all for a break but that seemed a bit excessive to me so I told him we were thinking at least September and he said he’d see what he can do. Still waiting for a letter for an official consultation. Once we’ve had that perhaps the decision would be easier? I have to admit that the fact you had such a positive experience of the place is definitely a pro xx

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Yeh definitely once you know when your consultation is it’ll make things easier and you can get a feel for the place as well hopefully it’ll come through soon - might be worth ringing the fertility centre and chasing them they are normally really helpful when u ring xxxx

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Ok I will do xx

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Have u got the number? X

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No haha, hadn’t thought of that 🤦🏻‍♀️ xx

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I’ll pm it u x

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That is a tricky one; but what does your heart say? Happiness shouldn’t be compromised because of financial implications.

Personally I cannot imagine being under anyone but our fertility specialist ; he has always been there for us when it matters and like you always feel he has our best interests at heart;we have got a close relationship with him and if it comes to us needing IVF I’d want him to be in charge of my care, even if the clinic is NHS and slightly tired.

Going through this journey is stressful enough and you need to be at a clinic you feel most happy and comfortable with. Probably one of the most important decisions you will both make. You have lots of time to make a decision and I want to wish you the best with whatever you decide to go 💫❤️ xoxo

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From what iv read the first thing I said is stay with what you know.

But ultimately it's your desicion. I personally would stay for all the reasons you've said, you've created a bond with them and they know you. Give it some good thought hun. Hope your ok

💗🤗😘

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You have really put lots of info here pros and cons for both my only advice is you and hubby have some quiet space and go where your heart tells you is it a possibility to go onto the new clinic waiting list while you decide ? Good luck whatever you do x

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Well you've list off a good set of pro's and con's for both clinics. I think you're right on the PGS, I dont think that's necessary something for you at this stage and Ive heard its very expensive. Reading between the lines you really like your current clinic and I would be tempted to tell you to stick with them as I think its very important but I understand money is key too. Shiny and new isnt necessarily everything but care is and you sound like you've been well looked after. That was one of the reasons that we didnt stay with our NHS clinic (for private treatment), not that they were bad but just didnt feel like they were in it for us if that makes sense. However, I would add that transferring clinic shouldnt compromise your care if you felt you had to go with the most cost effective option.....you can take your notes so they have your history and previous treatment protocols. Best of luck with your decision!xx

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Tricky one in spite of all the pros and cons of either clinic. Do what your gut instincts tell you. From reading your post, the clinic you are used to and staff etc seems the best choice in many ways. They also know you obviously and are very much aware of histories, experiences etc. I know what I'm saying is probably of no help but just do what is best for you and your OH and what your instincts tell you. Xo

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I would be very tempted to stay with what I knew, the relationship you have built up and the trust is there, but finances do play a big part in any decisions we all make in life. Give yourselves some time, perhaps over the Easter break and I’m sure your gut instinct will play a big part in your decision. My Daughter built up an Amazing relationship with her Consultant and staff and I think if she had been in a position to be making your decision she would have stayed with them. If only we had a crystal ball to see what the outcome would be. I send you love and very best wishes for your dream to come true xxxx

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Thanks everyone. We didn’t really discuss it that much yesterday (surprising I know lol) but we’ve had a little chat this afternoon. I’m trying to minimise the ivf chat with OH today as it’s his 42nd birthday! So far his gut is saying new clinic (he doesn’t know why just thinks it’s the one to go forward with) and my gut is the old clinic. Having said that he’s happy to go with whichever I’m more comfortable with so he’s not been much help really lol 😂 Good job we don’t have to make the decision today lol xx

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Ahhh wish your hubby happy birthday! Funnily enough it was my hubby that was keen to move clinic too.....he thought I couldnt see the wood for the trees as I liked all the staff and knew the place well as its near where I work. Hope you both have a good day!xx

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Thank you. Do you think your hubby was right? Lol xx

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Oh Im not sure I could ever admit that to him! Ha ha ha But yes he probably was right looking back, I guess I was just comfortable where I was. Also I think fresh eyes over things can help.xx

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That there is my dilemma 👆🏻 xx

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It’s a difficult decision isn’t it.

We decided to move clinics after my OH had issues with the urologist and I felt that because we had to complain then we could be treated differently.

We’ve moved to a less shiny and clean and cheaper clinic because it is an private part of the NHS one and I wanted the reassurance of the good old NHS after our private clinic issues.

But I wouldn’t have moved if we had not had issues. I would have stayed and payed the extra because I think it’s best to be where you feel known and comfortable.

If you can afford it, I’d say that you should stay xx

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What makes you think the new clinic will be more effective ?xx

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I don’t I guess. It has a good reputation and meets statistics set out by the HFEA xx

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Ok, sometimes it’s better the devil you know rather than the one you don’t. It might be worth in your consultation (if you’ve not had it yet) asking why you should choose them over your current clinic - get them to sell you their experience. How attentive will they be with your situation, could they pick up on something that the other clinic missed? Definitely worth doing your homework xx

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This is true. First thing’s first, do the consultation 😊 xx

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You have nothing to lose now, it’s big money at the end of the day. Get the best for what you’ve got in the pot xx

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Ahhh Vicky, sounds like a tough decision when you have pros and cons from each but if your heart is telling you to stay with your original clinic then that’s what I would do 🙂

Sorry not very helpful, best of luck with your decision xxx

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Just to mirror what the others have said you should definitely go for your consultation at the other clinic and then decide.

We changed clinics. Our decider was simply because we know 2 women who have had successful ivf cycles at the new clinic and its success rate is better. It would have been quite easy to stay where we were, they hadn't done anything wrong, but we had to give ourselves the best shot. I now have to travel 50 mins (driving) as opposed to 15 mins (walking) but it feels worth it and hopefully it will be.

I've not helped with your decision at all, I realise, but good luck! Xx

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😂 xx

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My heart says our current clinic but my head says new clinic. I’ll keep thinking on it lol 💭 🤔 xx

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If you're happy with your current clinic, you receive good care and trust that they are doing right by you and your husband, then I think you've answered your own question. At least you have some thinking time! Xx

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I’d say go with the one which will make you less stressed. So heart over head will be more reassuring. Happy birthday to your other half too. Hope you’re having a lovely evening xx

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Thank you. I’ll pass on your birthday wishes.. Actually his elder Sister just called him and said she will give us one thousand pounds towards our treatment! As a birthday present for my OH and for me as my birthday is next week. My Auntie has taken out a loan to give us £1500 and another Aunt is organising some fund raising nights, the wheels have been put in motion.. We have a little bit in the savings.. We’ve almost got half our money! I just hope with every fibre in my being that next time is our time 🙏🏻 xx

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Awwwwww! How lovely! That’s just great. I bet that was a lovely surprise! You must go where you want to be. The stresses of a clinic aren’t what you need. (I’m having a bit a nightmare today!) you need to feel relaxed and at home or just where you believe in most xx

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So true. My heart is with our old clinic but that’s not to say the new one isn’t a fine choice too and I know Shanks speaks highly of the new clinic. I’ll keep an open mind for now, or try to lol.

Sorry to hear you’re having a nightmare day 😕 xx

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Hi hunny, initially I thought stay where you were, but then after reading Shanks post I’ve sort of swung to the new!! A £1000 is a lot of pennies in one way, but in another, if your comfortable where you are it’s worth it, this is a really difficult one but as the other ladies say I think you will just have to go where your gut tells you x x

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So hard isn’t it? xx

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Personally i think I would change to save the money, if it weren’t for the waiting list. Time trumps money- the one that can see you first is the one that I would go with... if you’re ready to go again of course.

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All good points xx

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Your feelings are totaly understandable. I was in 2 minds about changing clinics. I also wanted a fresh look at things like yourself but I also wanted to stay with the clinic who knew me. It's a tough one hun in the end I stayed with who I felt more comfortable with. Good luck hun.

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Cheers Vonny. I think of you often in my struggles xx

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Bless you hun thank you. I feel your pain honest hun been there not knowing what to do for best its crap! You need to do a fundraiser you'd be amazed how many ppl help out. I'd help you and I don't even know you. 😁 serious tho after your wedding get a plan together and do this that way u may not have to move clinics. Xx

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Thank you, that’s so sweet 😊 One of OH’s Sisters tonight has offered £1000. My Auntie has taken out a loan and is giving us £1500. Another Aunt has set the wheels in motion to do some fundraising nights for us; bingo and dances, that kinda thing. We also have a little left in the savings so we’re almost halfway there already xx

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That's great hun and your welcome hun happy to help where I can. Xx

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Hi lovely! When we finished our one nhs try we were also advised that the nhs wasn’t the only option for us once money is involved! I looked into the other two but felt that there was possibility for us to get charged for tests we wouldn’t need as ours are all fairly recent. Basically we decided to stay with our nice nhs one as my OH’s sperm is already stored there and we already felt comfortable there with the staff! The other bonus is that the clinic doesn’t benefit from us paying as our nhs is non profit! Anyway, I’m back tomorrow to get my scan and second lots of injections 😁😝 excited but more terrified as it’s all starting to become real again! Good luck with your choices and remember you don’t need to rush too much unless you want to when making that important decision. 💕 xx

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yup gut feeling hun...you will know what to do..parking can be overcome. the shiny clinic we say we didn't go with in the end..I just went with my gut feeling about staff and how we were made to feel. we had the option of staying at nhs clinic we had been at and paying for treatment but nothing against the NHS but essentially we were paying for nhs treatment which meant lots of waiting which to be honest is one thing I really like about our clinic if your appointment is 9.30 it's 9.30 and it's not like picadilly circus in there and no chance of seeing someone I know so I was much more relaxed. I would say give it some thought which it sounds like you have with pros and cons but go with your gutt then decide and leave it there...a fresh start somewhere else can be good psychologically too xxx

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That’s the same with ours, they’re really good with appointments, so easy to book. Our shiny clinic is a private clinic that also treats nhs patients whereas the new clinic we’re looking at is an nhs clinic xx

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