Fertility Network UK

The worst time after the best time : (

Waiting for the nurses to call back from the clinic. I had cramps and diarrhoea last night )but I'd also had some chilli sauce so thought it was related to that. Usually I'm fine with that sort of thing but not last night.

This morning I had pink tinge to discharge when wiping and then a little be more, took 2 tests including one digital and both show negatives : (

I'm so upset and after being on hold for half an hour with the clinic, the nurses are in a meeting and hope one is going to call me back soon. I know there is nothing anyone can do , time will tell.

Hate this. Heart broken : (

Wish had just had a negative from the start. I'd even kept my "pregnant" tests to show my husband who is flying back now. Feel like throwing them in the bloody Thames.

Cruel innit!!!

x

19 Replies
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Yes it is too cruel for words.

Oh I’m so sorry. I had this happen last year- we had the joy of a positive test- first one in 6 years then the next day I started bleeding and lost the baby. Heartbroken doesn’t come close to describing the sense of loss.

I know it won’t feel like it now, but it will ease with time. You will never forget the loss and there will be always painful reminders. You will get through this and you will find the strength to keep going. And just because you lost this one doesn’t mean it would happen again. It’s progress you conceived , it’s not the outcome any of us would want but you can do this again. 🤗

Sending huge hugs your way and know there are many ladies who’ve been through this that will be happy to support you right now xoxo

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So sorry 🙁

I hope the nurses call back soon, hopefully they’ll be able to arrange for you to go in and have some bloods taken to get a more conclusive answer.

Sending love you way xxx

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Oh Im so sorry to read this! It is cruel and very unfair. Thinking of you both xx

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I'm so sorry to ready this, hopefully the nurces will get in touch with you soon.

Sending you huge hugs and hope you get answers soon x

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Worse thing is I think I caused this to happen... I went to the gym yesterday to just walk on the treadmill and felt dizzy afterwards. Then At lunch I ate falafel as really fancied it and said yes to the chilli sauce not thinking that might not be a good idea. I've read that it can irritate the bowel - which it most certainly did - and cause uterine cramps that could lead to miss carriage. I will blame myself for this for ever : (

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Please dont blame yourself. Gentle walking is great exercise and increases the blood flow which is good for you. And look at all the women in countries like India and Mexico that have spicy food everyday and have successful pregnancies. If your pregnancy hasnt worked out then you couldnt have prevented it.xx

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I’m sure it isn’t your fault. But we all blame ourselves. If chilli caused miscarriages I’m sure there would be a warning about eating them when pregnant and I’ve never seen one. Try to be a little kinder to yourself. Sorry you’re going through this xx

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It definitely isn’t your fault. Going to the gym or eating curry sauce isn’t going to cause it. I think it will have happened a couple of days ago and the HCG will take time to work it’s way out of your system. From your posts a couple of days ago about getting a negative after the positive it had probably already happened by then. Please don’t beat yourself up thinking if only Id done this or if I hadn’t done that. Babies are resilient creatures and if it was meant to be then it would have stuck around x

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I’m so sorry to hear this but you did NOT cause this for sure!! Please don’t blame yourself. You just walked on the treadmill and millions of people eat chilli all the time and go on to give birth. If another person went through what you have- there is no way that you would say it is their fault so don’t do that to yourself. This is devastating news and there is nothing I can say to make it better but be kind to yourself - sending you a big hug. Xxx

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I'm really sorry - it's so unfair. I really sympathise but please don't blame yourself! I had a chemical pregnancy last March - my first ever positive result - but I started to bleed only 8 hours later. Horribly, that same day, I had to face my friend who had just announced her shock pregnancy. The devastation was unreal.

My chemical was a natural conception but it must feel 100 times worse to go through the emotions of ivf, and be so close, only for it to be taken away so quickly. I hope your husband gets home soon so he can give you a big hug. Thinking of you both xx

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Bless u sorry to hear this. Def is so cruel n unfair. Going through my miscarriage now n it so rubbish. Hopefully u hear soon n get some answers. Hopefully it not the worst. Fingers crossed for u xxx

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I'm really sorry, we had a chemical pregnancy just over two weeks ago and I know it's a horrid feeling. It really isn't your fault but I know not much anyone tells you right now will help. If you need a vent or a chat, I'm here anytime. xxx

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Thank you for all your replies. I'm so sorry for your losses and appreciate you all taking the time to reply with support. The clinic finally got back to me and said "it doesn't look good" and have just got back from urgent bloods taken so hope to know either way tonight or tomorrow morning at the latest. Just want to know now so I can move on xx

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I feel you hun, this is hard and tough to realize after being ttc for years and these constant negatives frustrates you even more. I have been there quite a lot and have left all the hopes of conceiving naturally. If you are stressed and ttc, the combination of these two does not work. So choose one. Stress is toxic for you at this time. Pre-conception phase is important, you have to take extra care of your body and mind. Stay away from alcohol, too much caffeine, and excessive exercise months before ttc. It enhances your chances of conceiving. This is what I used to do until I found out of having DOR. Therefore, it appears that I have zero chances of getting pregnant except going for surrogacy. Anyway, if you are below 35, you have greater chances of getting pregnant than in the later years, because the ovarian reserve tends to decrease as we age. I advise you to go to a good FET and get your PGD done in order to determine the cause of infertility. Moreover, have your husband considered of receiving semen analysis? I think infertility is not just the women’s cause it is a 50/50 affair. So, convince your husband. I hope you get pregnant naturally without having to try for years.

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I feel you hun, this is hard and tough to realize after being ttc for years and these constant negatives frustrates you even more. I have been there quite a lot and have left all the hopes of conceiving naturally. If you are stressed and ttc, the combination of these two does not work. So choose one. Stress is toxic for you at this time. Pre-conception phase is important, you have to take extra care of your body and mind. Stay away from alcohol, too much caffeine, and excessive exercise months before ttc. It enhances your chances of conceiving. This is what I used to do until I found out of having DOR. Therefore, it appears that I have zero chances of getting pregnant except going for surrogacy. Anyway, if you are below 35, you have greater chances of getting pregnant than in the later years, because the ovarian reserve tends to decrease as we age. I advise you to go to a good FET and get your PGD done in order to determine the cause of infertility. Moreover, have your husband considered of receiving semen analysis? I think infertility is not just the women’s cause it is a 50/50 affair. So, convince your husband. I hope you get pregnant naturally without having to try for years.

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Such a sad post to read. Have experienced this myself years ago but nothing makes you feel better. Do not blame yourself though. Big bugs to you xxx

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I’m so very sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of love. Take good care and be kind to yourself in the days ahead xx

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It’s a horrible thing to happen and the whole journey is cruel. I’m sorry to hear your going through this. I’ve had one too and agree, it would have been easier if it were just a BFN rather than for you to come crashing down from cloud nine. Glad your hubby is coming back to be with you. Look after yourself x

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I am so sorry to read this. Life just isn’t fair sometimes. I know a little of what you are going through as I had two early miscarriages last year and was just devastated. I also blamed myself for doing yoga, which I know on reflection is just silly and nonsense. I feel certain that nothing you have done has caused this, but I understand the need to examine everything you have done. Please try to go easy on yourself though. Sending you a big hug. Take care xxx

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