Mother’s Day... : How is everyone... - Fertility Network UK

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Mother’s Day...

sharpy87 profile image
19 Replies

How is everyone feeling about Mother’s Day?

As someone desperate to be a mum, I’m having a bit of a wobbly about it.

After 2 failed fresh rounds of ICSI and with the 3rd starting shortly, I’m starting to worry that it won’t happen for me.

I’m feeling particularly anxious this year as it will be my sisters first Mother’s Day. She had a baby just before Christmas. I don’t know if she will want to do a big thing with my mum as well 😔 not sure if I can cope with that situation.

Any advise would be great x

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sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87
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19 Replies
Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

No advice but I’ll be taking my Mum out to dinner no matter what. By Mother’s Day I’ll know if my 4th and final transfer has worked. Last year I was pregnant and my Mum bought me my first ever Mother’s Day card. Emotionally this could be a tough one but like I said, whatever happens I’ll be taking my Mum out.

Having a wobble is understandable. Plan something really nice for yourself xx

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to Tugsgirl

I think I might just see if I can do something with my mum on the Saturday. Of course I want to celebrate with her but my family are not very sensitive to my situation. They will do toasts to my sister etc and il just look stupid and cry or something.

Fingers crossed that you will have good news! X

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to sharpy87

Yes, it’s important to celebrate with your mum, but not with the rest of the family if they’re not supportive xx

Jm82 profile image
Jm82

I'm feeling exactly the same, already dreading it. Mother's Day this year also falls on my nephews birthday so my sis has arranged us all to go out for lunch. She has 3 children all 'accidents' and I usually get the comment of - 'well your not a mum so you can run around and wait on us'!!

I just try to keep telling myself hopefully this time next year it might be my turn! Sorry not much help but just wanted you to know your not alone in feeling the way you do.

Good luck xx

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to Jm82

You are very brave, I’m not sure if I could just smile and ignore it. I’d cry and go home 😂😂

Do your family know about your situation? X

Jm82 profile image
Jm82 in reply to sharpy87

They know we have been trying (for nearly 3 years) but not that we are starting treatment this month, my sister isn't very sensitive to the situation. If it wasn't my nephews birthday I wouldn't of agreed to a big lunch but don't want to miss seeing him. Il just put on a brave face and cry when I get home and rant to my poor other half . Maybe just do something with your mum in the morning and make your excuses xx

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to Jm82

I’m sure you will you have a lovely time when you are there. I always build these things up in my head. They are never as bad as you think.

I will definitely do something with my mum, but I’m not sure what they will look like yet 😊

Hopefully one day, Mother’s Day will be really special for us x

Jo_Se profile image
Jo_Se

stay strong Sharpy87.

i'm not too bad on monthers day but many movies i can't watch that are too mumsy.

wishing you the best of luck though xx

I really don't like Mother's Day. It's so painful for two reasons. One is the obvious pain of being childless and the other is that my own Mother was abusive to myself and my siblings and we are estranged from her. I sit and wonder if I will ever know what a Mothers love is. I really want to be a Mummy and be the best Mummy I can be. Next week we have our FET and I'm praying it works. Then hopefully by Christmas we can be a part of that whole world of 'family' we long for. A bit of advice from me is to stay off Facebook! Seeing all your friends posting photos really doesn't help on days like Mother's Day. Also maybe you should do something special for yourself. Buy some nice bubble baths or something and have a soak and think how next Mother's Day things could be so different for you. ❤️

Never give up. 💜

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to

I’m so sorry that it’s such a painful day for you. It sounds like you’v has a tough time.

I haven’t had Facebook for about a year as I dreaded seeing all the scan pictures and lovely bumps.

Fingers crossed, next year will be better x

in reply to sharpy87

Thank you. Yes Facebook can be quite a painful place can't it.

I hope all your dreams come true. ❤️

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to

Yeah I deleted Facebook when my sister got pregnant and started posting about it daily. I found it heartbreaking every day.

I feel much better without it.

I think I feel worse atm as I’m about to start another round, I’m just waiting for my period! So feeling hormonal! 🙈 z

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Yeah pretty rubbish day all round, my mum died when I was 16, which was 19 years ago now, so I’d got used to not really making a thing of Mother’s Day, but since ivf it’s all a bit raw again, and with my sister in law having her son it’s now Nanny cards, Mother’s Day cards, and celebrations, and I just feel super left out. Think we will pop in and out quickly I suppose😕🤦🏼‍♀️xxx good luck to you all, we are stronger than we think (don’t bloody want to be but we are!!!!!) cxx

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to Aleelilook

I’m sorry it’s such a tough day for you.

I think we all just have to do what we can.

I’m a bit of a coward and just ignore events like that. But I guess I might need to come to terms with it at some point!

Let’s just buy ourselves a big box of chocolates and eat them all 😊 x

Anna00 profile image
Anna00

It’s gonna be a sad day for me for 2 reason. First which is obvious I don’t have my own dream baby and I had a early miscarriage last month and the second I don’t have my lovely mum here with me so I can’t take her out for dinner buy her flowers or even hug her😔 So I hate mother’s day and I won’t log in to any social media like fab or insta as I know I’ll see lots of photos. Hopefully next year we all have our baby and celebrate our very own Mother’s Day 🙏🏻 x

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to Anna00

Sorry it’s such a bad day for you. I think people forget how painful these celebrations can be for some.

I do get on with my mum, but she doesn’t cope well with juggling my sister who is a new Mum, and me who has been struggling for nearly 3 years.

She lies about who she’s spending time with and she doesn’t bring us together. The way she acts causes tension.

I think il just keep myself to myself and act like any other day. X

Anna00 profile image
Anna00 in reply to sharpy87

Yeah it’s painful for some people like us, but nothing we can do about it. Sorry to hear this hun.

I don’t have sister so my mum always been a mum sister and friend for me, but she’s far from me,I couldn’t have her when I had my miscarriage and can’t be with her on mother’s day, so I guess I’ll do the same as you carry on my normal life like any other day X

sharpy87 profile image
sharpy87 in reply to Anna00

Sorry for moaning about my mum. I know lots of people would love to have any sort of Mum, regardless of how supportive they are. X

Anna00 profile image
Anna00 in reply to sharpy87

Don’t be sorry at all hun, if this is the thing that bother you then you should talk about it and we are here to help each other support each other xx

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