Feeling a bit depressed 😞: As the... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling a bit depressed 😞

Tugsgirl profile image
74 Replies

As the title says I’m feeling quite low. I feel like everything is getting on top of me. Today I lost a couple of regular clients, they are “sorry to have to let me go” but because of their failing health they need someone who will clean their house every week without fail and with the ivf treatments/appointments I’m sadly not reliable enough for them now. They weren’t mean or rude, quite the opposite and I understand their predicament but I’ve lost a lot of regular clients recently (due to them moving, passing away etc etc) which means financially I’m struggling. I can’t ask for any more work atm because I’m having to take so much time off with appointments for ivf and hospital appointments for the lupus anticoagulant problem. Why would my boss put more work my way while I’m so unreliable? OH says we’ll be fine, we’ll cope. In fact he’d wanted me to give up work completely to give this my all and cut down on stress (not that my job is particularly stressful although it is physical) but I’ve never been without my own money and I’ve always paid my way in life. I just hope to God this cycle pays off because the cost to my emotional state is higher than I imagined. To top it off I’ve had a very nasty acne breakout on my face which is very sore and painful. I have my next fet on Friday but now I’m worrying that my headspace is going to ruin my chances this time. I feel like we’ve got a bfn before I’ve even had my transfer! I guess I just don’t have a good feeling about this round 😞

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74 Replies
Goodthingscome profile image
Goodthingscome

I'm sorry to read this post, I cant offer you any advice apart from try to keep your chin up and try and be positive for your FET next week (which is exciting). I believe everything happens for a reason so maybe the loss of work will be a blessing in disguise, as you will need to rest and relax when you get that BFP in a few weeks ;-). Keeping everything crossed for you for this round as you have been though so much xx

You poor thing. We all know that this rollercoaster takes us on so many rapid downs, but it doesn't mean that we're always prepared for them. Remember that this is a phase and you will come out of it. And the idea that thinking negatively will ruin your chances is really unfair on you; you can't control the outcome of your IVF with your thoughts, and everyone who tells us to 'be positive' about it just makes us feel worse for feeling low!

It sounds like your OH really wants the best for you both, so don't let the declining workload drag you down. If you've always paid your way and supported yourself, you'll be able to continue doing that in the future, but in the meantime take your foot off the gas and let the man who loves you so much support you.

I totally feel for you with the acne breakout. I had severe acne in my early 20s (yet another indication of underlying hormone problems that was never addressed or investigated!) and people don't understand how uncomfortable and painful it is. As you know, it's all linked; stress, hormones, low mood, skin conditions, etc. It's so bloody unfair, but you've come this far and will keep fighting. And until you feel a little bit better, we're all here :-) xxx

lorraineb61 profile image
lorraineb61

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. Perhaps this is actually a sign - your body may need to rest more & this is the world's way of making you take it easy! Keep believing, don't write this off xxx

vic77 profile image
vic77

awww hunny I am so sorry you feel like this. the week before my fet I was a mess, crying all the rime. I think the nearer it gets the more emotional you get..that's OK. .it gets harder and harder and I say allow yourself to feel like this. it won't be long till you are reunited with ur snow baby and I am sending you all the love and positive vibes I have..take care xxxxx

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21

So sorry to hear your feeling so down lovely sounds like everything is getting on top of you 😓 it’s great your OH is being so supportive and as much you like your financial independence maybe the lighter work load might have come at the right time to give you the opportunity to have a bit of time to yourself. Sounds like the acne is probably related to how your feeling outbreaks always happen at the worst time but it’s your body’s way of saying take a break. As hard as it try and stay positive! You’ve probably tried this before but the headspace app is really good for relaxation and Zita West does a relaxation cd for IVF treatment you can download it from iTunes I found both of these really beneficial just to give me a bit of time each day to get away from it all - a time-out does wonders!

We’re all here for you and willing your get your BFP sending lots of love and a big hug xxxx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Awwww lovely. I'm so sorry your feeling so rubbish. Life always throws things at us when the timing is, so wrong, I know what you mean about having your own money it's a, sense of independence. Try to take your self out for a nice stroll and get some nature in your blood it may help to lift your spirits. I know how you, feel regards your skin I'm always, b battling with mine seems my face has calmed down but the top of my back has got them now I hate it. Keep talking hun cry if you need to get it all out before transfer, maybe get a massage. You know I'm here hun pm me if you need a chat. Lots of love and hugs 💗💗🤗😘😘

Squeak2 profile image
Squeak2

Massive hugs lovely! Everyone has said what I would have and maybe a slower pace might be what you need right now! It doesn’t need to be forever but perhaps just for right now it’s what u need too 💕 xx

I am so sorry to hear your feeling like this. This rollercoaster ride can just drain you completely. During my low moments you have always offered encouraging words to me, I’m sorry I havnt been in for a while but everything got a little much for me towards the end of last year as we faced our 7th failed treatment. I have picked myself up and somewhere deep down I have found strength and I hope you will to, and with the support of your hubby I hope all goes well for you on Friday.

I also worry about work and loosing some of my mindees as I am a childminder (ironically) but please know your not alone.

All the lovely lovely ladies in this forum are here sending you a great big hug and words of encouragement.

Take care of yourselves xx

lauren3189 profile image
lauren3189

so sorry you are feeling like this, its a difficult journey enough without any added pressures. Fingers crossed fro Friday i really hope ti works xx

JULIETJAM profile image
JULIETJAM

Hello, thinking of you and you will be just fine. In your post, you said you hope to God that this cycle works. Now that is you little prayer to God. God answers prayers but we have to trust him and have faith. Please don’t claim failure of your FET cycle before you even go for a transfer. Believe that it’s going to work and repeat it to yourself over and over again. Did you know the tongue has power? Confess positivity. I will pray for you and trusting that your transfer will go well and this will be your miracle you have waited for for a while. Keep the faith. All the best. Lots of love. God bless you.x

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

I’m is sorry you feel so down right now. It really sounds crap😔.

I think having less work to do might really help out but it’s so difficult to depend on other people financially. it’s all this independent lady stuff we have going on now, even when it’s our husbands!!

Sending hugs xx

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13

So sorry you're feeling down right now. I want to say what everyone else has so eloquently and accurately written above! Your job is very physical, taking is easier is a good idea, and it's lovely that your OH is supportive of that. I hope you'll soon start to feel more excited about your next try and don't worry, your thoughts won't affect your outcome, leave that to science and nature! X

E_05 profile image
E_05

Sorry your feeling so low, I feel in such a similar position in terms of trying to juggle work (I went part time before my last cycle and it still feels like it’s getting in the way) and worrying about finances and my up coming cycle. Your OH sounds so supportive, hopefully as your transfer approaches you’ll feel more positive. Don’t write it off yet, this is your time xx

genten profile image
genten

Bless you. I absolutely feel for you. I think maybe OH advice is good and may also be a blessing as someone else commented. Do what is best for you and your body. Sending prayers and hugs xx

Big hugs to you-you have been through so much and I admire you for the strength you have shown. Have a think about work- if it adds to your stress load and your finances allow it, consider having a break. I had a very emotionally demanding job and I took a break at the end of last year with my husbands support. I spoke to my counsellor about what it meant to no longer have a salary- I was brought up to be very dependent and never rely on anyone for money and I was able to make that step. I feel so much better for it- at this time of my life, having a baby is my project/work and I can come back to work later.

Re acne- I also suffered and recently I have been looking at a regimen by a London facialist who suggests not using moisturiser. I’ve stopped for the last couple of months and I have so many fewer spots. I also use glycolic acid washes and pads at night. I can’t afford to see her but she has a website where she can recommend products for you based on your concerns.

Xxx

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143

Sending you the biggest of hugs, life really does kick you when you’re down doesn’t it. You are a fighter, a warrior princess! Be strong and keep the faith, Friday’s transfer could be the one 🙏🙏 xxx

-noodles- profile image
-noodles-

sending big hugs - this infertility malarkey is hard enough without having to deal with financial / employment worries.

look at what you’ve overcome - you are an amazing person & a tower of strength to all the ladies on here.

remember you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think

look after yourself ahead of transfer - rest up & be kind to yourself, we are all behind you ✨💕✨

lianm8 profile image
lianm8

Oh tugsgirl I am sorry to hear you are feeling down. I hope your OH is looking after you.

It’s upsetting you have lost some clients, but, every cloud has a silver lining. Your body is going through so much, not just the ups and downs of IVF but the stress that comes with it. Hormonal changes are the worst, I feel bloated, have acne, pale, bruises everywhere it takes it’s toll!

I took two weeks off with my last FET as I felt I needed that time for myself as I was so caught up in everything IVF related...maybe take your partners offer and stop work for a few weeks (if possible) while you are going through your TWW to take some time out for yourself, you deserve it.

Money comes and goes, try not to stress about the financial side about things, especially as what is coming up this week for you. You need to be in the best frame of mind for Friday. Take some time out for yourself, facial, walks, catch up with some friends.

Look after yourself and wishing you lots of luck for Friday xxx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Oh I’m so sorry you’re feeling rubbish 😔I was a mess before my FET, I was nearly sick when they told me I was ready for transfer, I think because of all the other stuff that had gone on in the past it is like a pressure cooker in my mind!

One of the problems with this journey is nothing is in our control, and we give up so much, and turn our lives upside down, and the one constant one has is work, and when that is effected it feels like just one more effing thing that’s changing (that’s how I felt going on sabbatical).

But if your husband feels he can support you both for a bit don’t feel bad about it, you will hopefully be growing a human, you deserve to give yourself a bit of a break lovely!

Perhaps go and get some reflexology or a massage just to relax you and get you more focused on treatment. Xxx

Elizabeth86 profile image
Elizabeth86

I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling so negative (completely understandable why!). I tried a few visualisation / fertility hypnosis from YouTube / Spotify to help relax me and to visualise success as I found it hard to break through the self protect mode! I actually really liked them so worth a try! You have been so strong to get this far, you absolutely have the strength to deal with this. Let today be a bad day and wake up tomorrow with it as a new day and new opportunity. Sending hugs xxx

7AVA profile image
7AVA

So sorry you’re feeling like this and for your work situation. I’m having a down day too which, although it doesn’t help you, I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Hope tomorrow is a little better for you. You have so much support on here, keep reaching out as you move towards Friday, we’re all here for you. Huge hugs. Xxx

Crowpingpongg profile image
Crowpingpongg

Never give up you've come this far and I believe you will get good things happening. Stay strong xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Thank you everyone. I’m not sure where to start with the replies but please know I appreciate every single one of your responses and that you have all helped me more than you know.

Just had my Lubion and my first Heparin (which is a MoFo, is it supposed to be so sore afterwards?) and had a major wobble over it but I will be ok. I’m having a bad day, perhaps a bad week but I’ll just have to get on with things best I can, like I always do. Thank you all for “listening” xx 😘

Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79

I'm really sorry to hear this Tugsgirl just wanted you to know that I think you're everyone's rock on here, always giving great advice and keeping everyones spirits up whether it's good or bad news (much better at replying to posts than I am). Do you think your acne flare up is linked to stress or something else? I come from a family of acne sufferers and after my sister had an adverse reaction to meds in her teens my mum was very against any of us taking medication so we've had to find alternative ways to treat! Am sure you know every trick in the book, but let me know if you want any suggestions. Is your job full time normally? I used to be very like you, worked all hours and couldn't dream of not being financially independent but after having an emotional break down in a service station on the way to a fertility appointment I decided enough was enough. I got a part time job which literally just about covers bills, but I have never looked back. It has made such a difference in stress levels and being able to go to appointments without any hassle. If you are able to go part time I would consider it. Sorry if this has all been mentioned above but just wanted you to know that everyone is here for you. I really hope this FET turns out to be the one for you xxxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Lilli79

I’m already part time, two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon but it’s not even that anymore because of today and because of losing one client that passed away and another has moved away. As my OH is severely disabled he’s on PIP disability allowance which is enough to live on but it’s not like we’re rich. My money was paying for our shopping and going towards the phone and internet bill with some left over for me. We’ll probably cope financially although it will be tighter now but I hate not being able to contribute and even simple things like buying presents for people from my own money.

For some reason the acne started flaring up mid last week before I took any drugs. The last time it was almost this bad was after my last miscarriage so yes, maybe it is all stress that’s bought it on? They do say there’s a hereditary link and my Mum used to get it bad before she hit 40. I’ve never quite had it this bad though. And yes, over the years I’ve tried everything and so has my Doctor.

Thank you so much for your reply. In making me feel helpful to others you have lifted me a little xx

I think it's really easy to forget how amazing we are to get this far. Honestly you're doing amazing so don't ever forget that, just a shame money is always an issue. I know how you feel on both counts and no matter what anyone says you still feel pressured and stressed. I promise the spots will fade and you will find a way to get through this xxx

Wishfully profile image
Wishfully

Oh no, don’t be sad.... IVF can be all-consuming - it impacts so many things and is even harder when it creeps into your work life too. The thing is your FET is another fresh chance & I’m sure if you get your BFP your other worries will just melt away. Sending big hugs and positive vibes your way xx

vonny27 profile image
vonny27

Aww I'm sorry your feeling abit down hun try not to be too hard on yourself hopefully all with work out. Watch some funny movies or clips on YouTube to make ya laugh. 😂😁 I really hope you get your dream hun. Takecare xx

Dunla profile image
Dunla

Hey there, I’m so sorry you’re feeling low. I do know how hard it can be to juggle work and IVF. It’s a horrible balancing act and so stressful. I had to give up my job in the end up. Please try not to punish yourself for feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Could you make a conscious effort to try to do something each day that might help you to relax or uplift you? I am really rooting for you and hoping so much that things are going to go well for your FET. I’m thinking of you and sending positive energy your way 💗xx

Minibud profile image
Minibud

Awww tugsgirl big hugs.....your normally the one thats lifting our spirits and keeping us going so now it's our turn to be there for you.

One thing you must not do is beat self up for feeling low. This jorney is like a wave....one minute we are able to paddle against it and the next we are getting pulled under. Have a pity day today and then tomorrow wake up, list everything you are happy about and smile thinking what the future may hold.

Mwah xxx

AJJ123 profile image
AJJ123

We all have these days, remember you’re doing something very exciting over next few weeks! This time it could be your time, forget work for now. You can always find something else when you’re ready. Main thing is to focus on things that make you feel happy, watching your fave tv shows or going out somewhere nice. Don’t let this be the only thing in your life - have other focuses. I do the same and then have to remind myself of this xx

Big hug. You'll get through this xx

Sweets1 profile image
Sweets1

Oh I just want to give you a big cuddle, I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice really, but just look after yourself, crossing everything for you xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Ahhh Vicky! Sorry you're having a crappy day/week! Happens to the best of us hun! Sending you massive hugs xxx

I’m really sorry you’re feeling down and this journey is difficult enough without additional stress.

Your partner sounds lovely 😊

It is unfair to feel penalised for needing fertility treatment. It’s not your fault.

I had issues with my line manager over hospital appointments- due to issues occurring after my miscarriage. My manager even had the cheek to ask me to have surgery at a more convenient time! I ended up contacting HR who supported me and my line manager changed her tune 🤣 Could you contact HR or occupational health to support you through this? I found both to be very supportive 😊

Don’t feel bad about having a down day we all have them. Some days are harder than others. Tomorrow is a new day 😊 we all do amazingly well but sometimes it can get a bit much and that’s okay because we are all here for each other and understand 😘

All the best with the FET 😊

Hope you get this work situation sorted out xoxo

emu2016 profile image
emu2016

Hello you..... it’s easier to take advice than give it.... but right now... you know that the advice you’d be giving anyone else on here would be to forget work for the next week, relax, find the time to take you mind off it and remember you and your OH are the most important right now. Big hugs honey xx

Evie1 profile image
Evie1

I really feel for you, I have watched your story for so long, and I almost feel as if I know you. Please try to be positive, easy for me to say, but I’m sure positivity will help you. Always remember Hope, that is so important. It got my Daughter through, she suffered so much as you have done. Sending you a hug and all the luck in the world. Xxxx

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone

Hey there. Many of these feelings probably come back to being worried about the transfer which is completely normal. You’ve been through so much. It’s hard to get a positive head on. You must be full of worry. But please try to go easy on yourself and be kind to yourself.

Maybe having a few fewer clients is a good thing at the moment even if it means tightening your belts a bit for a little while. Perhaps it’s creating the space you need. But it must be worrying and frustrating too.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. Am here if you want to chat or anything and I’ve got everything crossed for you xxxxx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84

I really feel for you as it seems along with all the other heartache your experiencing, work stress is not something you want to be adding.. Try and remain positive and look forward to your FET as this could be your time! Thinking of you xx

Orla9298 profile image
Orla9298

I’m so sorry you’re feeling low lovely, it may be a good thing that you take it a bit easy and hopefully there will be a BFP so you won’t care! I’ll have everything crossed for you and feeling positive for you xxx

Missy_22 profile image
Missy_22

I know exactly what you mean, like myself we have done many cycles and it’s emotionally hard. I really hope it works for you. Try not to think about having a bfn, I feel the same and not even started stimulation. This time I’m trying hypnosis to stay more positive. Have you tried any other relaxation methods like reflexology has it helps me.

Are you taking much time off after Friday ??

If you need to private message me anytime please do.

I’m really praying it’s our time this year xxx

leo1980 profile image
leo1980

I am sorry you are feeling low. And that you have lost clients.. and I know this IVF thing is such a strain financially....can you do something else? Like maybe dog walking? Hanging with my fur baby is a stress reliever for me. I get fresh air, chat with random people in the park which distracts me.keeps me fit too! I was so stressed at dinner tonight. I keep having nightmares that I will have no eggs at my egg collection toon tomorrow...I didn’t eat my food my hands were shaking.. I had a quick shower and started a jigsaw and it took my mind of it for bit.. be kind to yourself...xx

Awww sorry to hear this tugs your normally so upbeat and positive.

We are all allowed a down day Hun tomorrow will be brighter just take each day as it comes... I am gearing up for last lucky number 7 hopefully but just taking each days as it comes.... it’s worked before why won’t it work again.

Have a hot soak, clear your mind and breathe x

Hampshiregal profile image
Hampshiregal

Thinking of you sweetie 🐰🐰🐰 bunny hugs

I don't believe that our headspace has a massive effect on outcomes. I'm sorry but I just don't. Otherwise how would women living in war zones ever get pregnant? If it's going to stick then it will.

Having said that, I totally understand why you feel low. Having my own money is important to me too. When I was under threat of redundancy recently, my husband said straight away 'oh but we will be alright' meaning finances and I totally lost the plot with him because work is not all about money after all. It's about our independence and self reliance and sense of self worth. But all that will still be waiting for you when you are through these difficult times. You will be able to build up your client base again. I hope that you will be able to get through this next round and have a happy ending xx

Hey, will be in touch on whatsapp tomorrow (probs with phone). Thinking of you and I agree with all advice here. You deserve time to think about just you and T (unsure you'd want all names on here) and your little embie soon to be with you.

You deserve all the support you can get, you are so wonderful at supporting everyone here no matter what you are going through. Big bunny love xxx

Sending you lots of love ❤️ like a lot of the other posts, I believe sometimes things do happen for a reason. Maybe this is the only way you will relax. sometimes we focus on the negatives and not on the positives try and relax and look forward to Friday transfer. .. as hard as it sometimes is there is exciting times ahead. Start believing. Xxx

Smang profile image
Smang

Hi Tugsgirl, I’m sorry you are feeling down, this fertility journey is such a struggle on it’s own and then to have other life struggles into the mix makes it that much harder. I wish I had some advice to offer because from what I have seen on this forum you are one of the ones that always gives the best advice and support. But I just hope you know that you aren’t alone and I hope that in some way just being able to voice your struggles is helping you and also all of us.

You are very strong and resilient from what I have seen and it seems like you have an amazing and supportive other half, I know it’s hard when you are so used to being independent, especially financially but sometimes it’s ok to to lose a little independence at least for the short term.

Wishing you well and virtual hugs xxx

Kempton profile image
Kempton

Hey Tugsgirl. Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I know exactly how you are feeling. And the last thing you need is this stress on top of everything else.

If your husband says you can manage then try and believe him. See less work as a blessing. More time for you!! To focus on you and your journey. Yeah maybe it'll mean cutting out certain luxuries but you feeling relaxed and having time for you is more important than anything.

I honestly think that leaving my work is behind the success of my FET. OK so I'm not gong to get any maternity entitlement, but I'm getting my dream of a family and a baby. It's going to be such a hard struggle but maybe it's what I had to do, maybe my journey to parenthood was never going to be simple!

I hope your FET is a success. Don't let work take over. See it as a chance to focus on you!

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

Sorry to hear your having a bad time of it. I get wanting to be independent, but try looking at this as a short period of time when you’re contributing in a different way - you’re preparing yourself to carry a baby - something which your hubby could never do, so if he needs to chip in a bit more then that’s his contribution to the process. Look at it as an opportunity to spend more time relaxing - you’re not giving up work entirely but have more time to focus on you and get your head in the right place for your cycle x

Birdboy1 profile image
Birdboy1

So sorry your having a tough time at the moment. Thinking of you xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_

Sorry to hear your having a tough time at the moment ........ hope your feeling better soon good luck and try and keep positive i know its hard ...... sending lots of hugs 🤗 Xxx

Mogwai_2 profile image
Mogwai_2

I’m sorry to hear how you are feeling but can totally relate. I spent 2 weeks telling my OH that the FET hadn’t worked and low and behold it had. As it was done first cycle following MMC I was not positive, actually quite the opposite. I felt that we needed to ‘get through’ the remaining frozen embryos, so felt it best to wack a few in and get the pain over with. So I’d try not to worry about your mental state on the actual outcome. I’m of the view it’s largely unrelated.

The bigger worry is your mental state for you. Assuming you continue with the FET do try to keep busy afterwards. I walked a lot, spent time with friends trying to laugh and doing jigsaws.

I wish you so much luck as you both deserve it with the cruel journeybyou have been on.

Billywhizz10 profile image
Billywhizz10

The important thing is to not think of yourself as 'unique' we are going through yet another cycle and in its easy to feel EVERYTHING is negative- regardless of what job you're doing, friends, etc.

I found when people say 'stay positive' it used to annoy me, but one thing that does work (as you can see from the countless replies) you're not unique, this has happened to so many people before and its normal to feel like everything is going wrong. Just cling onto that, that what you're feeling is normal and just as other people get through it, so will you!

Good luck

x

Princes14 profile image
Princes14

To a point you just want things to carry on as normal so you can distract from the rollercoaster of ivf... but perhaps this is a good thing? I know myself I’m always grateful for the challenge and stress of work. But. As suggested in other posts... your health and well being often takes over. We take for granted having the time to focus on ourselves.

Don’t let this get you down, stay positive. Think about the bigger picture! This is all happening for the right reasons 🍀🤞🏼

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

Sorry to hear this Vicky, lovely to see that you have such a supportive OH though 🙂 I bet that’s a huge help!

I’ve got everything crossed that this cycle will be the one for you 🤞xxx

Anna00 profile image
Anna00

I’m so sorry to read this hun, but as everyone told me when I was depressed it’s completely normal,you’ve been trough a lot phisicaly and emotionally so you’re not alone,I think all of us in here had it or still have it. Being a woman is not easy! Please stay positive,if your job gives you stress in any way give it up at the end it’s just a job and you can have a job again,don’t think about having your own money at the moment specially when your OH is supportive so nothing to worry about. Focus on your cycle but at the same time stay calm to be honest I didn’t do that and now I regret myself,I was in too much stress and my body gave up and I failed. Please stay positive and calm if you do it,it will work I’m sure. I’m here any time you need a chat xxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I read this on a blog on Facebook this morning and it resonated with me. I’m sure the pain of not just having losses and bfns but all the other crap that comes with infertility and ivf could apply here too;

“ You know how when you fall in love it's as if all your past relationships led up to this? That's how you will feel when you get your baby. The pain of all the failed attempts will fade as your life is consumed with a new love, concern for their safety and the urgent quest for more coffee to keep yourself awake.”

In other words, hopefully one day it will all seem so insignificant. Every worry and stress and down day. I have two embryos left. I just hope that one of them is our rainbow baby. Hopefully it will all be worth it 🤞🙏🏻🍀🤰🏻

Thank you so much ladies. I left it a long time to read through all your comments and now I don’t know where to start with replies, I think I’d be here all day lol. I want you to know I appreciate them all. Thank you. I’m very grateful xx

Vicky

Bumpwanted profile image
Bumpwanted in reply to Tugsgirl

Totally true Hun! You will get your rainbow and then this will all be a distant memory.. x

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Bumpwanted

I’m not so sure anymore xx

That is beautiful brought a tear to my eyes 😊 every hurdle we face is a step closer to having our baby’s 😊 We will come out the other side stronger and will appreciate our children even more - because we fought hard and didn’t give up even when the going got tough 🙌🏻 xoxo

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to

Exactly xx

Positive2022 profile image
Positive2022

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so low. It's such a difficult stressful journey without the stress of work. I can't even imagine how you're feeling with everything you have gone through. I just wanted to say that I have everything crossed for you and really hope things go well. Sending love and BIG hugs xxx

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88

Awww hunnie I feel for you.

You have been through so much on this journey and that has an impact on how you go forward.

I find it’s really easy for ppl to say “don’t worry” or “just relax” or “your time will come, it will happen for you” and no one actually understands what it is like for you, all these things were said to us on our journey and now I know it never would have happened.

Only you walk in your footsteps and only you know how it feels for you. Others can offer advise and support but u know how your feeling. I hope you do get your miracle because you deserve it so much I’ll keep everything crossed for you. Xx

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16

Wishing you all the very best for your FET tomorrow and trusting that all goes smoothly for you. Really sorry to read your recent post. Feel so much for you as you have had alot of obstacles. You deserve your miracle baby so much and I am trusting and praying that THIS is your time. Thinking about you and hoping you are managing to have a relaxing night tonight. Sending you a big hug. Xo

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Poppy16

I’ve just chilled on the sofa all evening watching old episodes of Red Dwarf. Seen them all a hundred times but there’s not much thought required. I had a reflexology session this afternoon too. Thank you for your warm wishes xx

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13

Hope you're feeling ok ahead of your FET tomorrow, hope it goes really well and that your feeling a bit better x

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Scarlett13

Bit nervous and definitely anxious about the thaw 🙏🏻 Thank you xx

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13 in reply to Scarlett13

You're!

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

Good luck with your FET tomorrow! 🤞🍀 xxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Amanda86

Thanks Amanda xx

Good luck for tomorrow! ☘️ Xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to

Thank you xx

Bumpwanted profile image
Bumpwanted

All the best for today Hun x don't worry what your head is thinking, I was just the same convinced I would ruin everything with my negative thinking but it had no impact, with Leora it was 3 months after we lost Harrison and looking back I wasn't ready but I was desperate to be pregnant again, all I thought was if this doesn't work then how will I cope with more loss, how will I get through another day, I was terrified! Then I would think all this worry is ruining my chances all this stress and emotion it won't work... that's what my head said but my body had different ideas.. what I am saying is don't worry about your head it won't ruin anything.. the more attempts you have the more likely you are to have success, I know there is nothing I can say to help, I hope you manage to get through these tough days, just focus on getting through each day, I went to bed early and did anything to help pass the time x massive hugs! Xx

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