First official BFN 😔: I knew it would... - Fertility Network UK

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First official BFN 😔

Jenjen84 profile image
22 Replies

I knew it would be a BFN due to the fact of my very regular and heavy period that showed it’s ugly face on Friday.. Officially did my first ever test in over 2 years and it confirmed the worst! It’s my first IVF attempt so I know that it could still work, just seems like it will only ever be a dream tho! I know I will pick myself up in time and get ready for the next round but all I keep thinking is ‘What if this really is it?’ How do you prepare yourself for the possibility of more heart ache?

To all you women who have had multiple failed attempts and who find the courage to keep going, I take my hat off to you! You are amazingly strong beings.. xxx

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Jenjen84
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22 Replies

Oh no Jendobson 😢. Even tho AF arrives we always hold onto that tiny bit of hope that maybe just maybe the dr will call with a positive. Be kind to yourself is the advice everyone has given me and I pass that onto you. Focus on the things that make you grateful and you will find the strength to move forward to the next round. I went for my bloods this morning but I already know the outcome so not too bothered with them. Sending you big hugs xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to

Thank you xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Really sorry. I don’t know the how but I know the why. Because you want it so badly, that’s what will spur your fight on, maybe not today or tomorrow but in time you’ll feel strong enough xx

cls37 profile image
cls37 in reply to Tugsgirl

This is so true..... I’ve only ever had BFN and the pain when it fails is so bad. I end up looking at it ‘do I sink or swim’ so from somewhere I find the energy to pick myself up and try to prepare for the next time. Doesn’t happen overnight and is hard but like my best friend tells me ‘pull your big girl pants on’. Thinking of you as the pain hurts so bad xxx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to cls37

Thank you xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you xx

Smang profile image
Smang

I’m so sorry to hear Jendobson, BFN’s are always a heartbreaking. Take some time for yourself and grieve. We are much more stronger and resilient than we think we are, it will happen for us some way or another xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Smang

Thank you xx

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi jendobson. So sorry to hear this, as it's no easy route having to go through IVF or any fertility treatment. I hope you've got plenty of support, and I know the ladies here will be here for you, whenever. Thinking of you. Diane

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to DianeArnold

Thank you xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

So sorry to read this, I agree I don’t often know how we continue but for me my desire (desperation) to have a baby continues to our weigh the thought of more treatment. Take to re build your strength, you’ll find your able to go again in your own time xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to E_05

Thank you xx

Dunla profile image
Dunla

I’m so very sorry to hear this. This is such a difficult time for you. Focus on taking care of yourself in the coming days to begin with. In time it does feel less raw, even though the pain may never subside completely. In a few weeks or months you might be able to contemplate your review appointment and begin to discuss your next step. For now, take things at your own pace and get through one day at a time xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Dunla

Thank you xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Sorry to hear that! I dont know where we find the strength from but we do and hopefully through time you will too. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself to something nice to reward yourself for having to go through all of this! Sending hugsxx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you! Xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84

Wow! Thank you ladies! You are all such lovely people and say such nice words! I can’t beleive it’s taken me over 2 years to find you all! ❤️ Xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Jenjen84

It’s a horrible horrible journey but once you find people who understand everything seems that bit more bearable. Good luck for next time xx

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Tugsgirl

I think it gives us strength to keep going knowing there are others fighting through the journey too and knowing we’re not alone.. Thanks for the luck.. Same to you too xx

Bekka6767 profile image
Bekka6767

Hello, my dear friend. In order to accomplish something, you have to be optimistic. Having a pessimistic approach is just going to mess things up. It was just your first try. You still have so many chances. Be as strong as you really are. Getting everything the perfect way is not what happens in real life. Think more realistically my friend and keep trying.

Jenjen84 profile image
Jenjen84 in reply to Bekka6767

Thanks Bekka.. It’s amazing how quickly I seem to be dusting myself down as I’m feeling a lot more positive today!

I spent most of last year feeling very unhappy and lost and I refuse to let myself go down that route again! Thank you for your kind words.. xxx

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