BFN today and feeling hopeless - Fertility Network UK

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BFN today and feeling hopeless


I tested today which is d10p5dt and got a BFN. This was our frozen two embryos left over from our one and only go on the NHS. I don’t really know what to say except that I feel so low and depressed that I feel desperate. I don’t know why this is happening to me and I feel like I’m being punished. All of my friends are having children and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about wha I’m experiencing because they can’t relate. They can nod in sympathy but that’s about it. Without my own family I don’t see the point of it all

26 Replies

oh darling i am so sorry for your loss - it’s the worst feeling in the world.

give yourself time to grieve - this awful process takes so much from us, emotionally and physically, and for it to end with a negative test is soul destroying.

wishing you strength in the days ahead. i hope you will find support both here and from your family.

sending massive hugs 💕✨💕

So sorry it didn’t work out for you. It is an absolutely awful time to go through. Give yourself time to go through the emotions. It does take a while to get the meds out of your system and to get back to feeling like yourself again. Take care and look after yourself. Xx

Do you still have more days to OTD?

Rainbowhope in reply to Hollibob

Hiya. My OTD is on day 14 to 16. I tested early because the wait was killing me and from what I read testing at day 10 is accurate. I will continue with my meds and take the test later this week because DH insists but the meds are making me feel bloated and swollen and my moods swings are huge.

Hollibob in reply to Rainbowhope

Never give up...

There are ladies on here who had a negative the day before and on OTD they got a positive x

This is a difficult process. It’s hard and unfair. Right now you’ll feel very raw and sad. Take time to just be together. Was today your OTD? x

I’m so sorry sorry. No words I can say will easy your pain at the moment. It’s just so cruel. Take time for you and your partner and I’m thinking of you xxx

I’m truly sorry. In your position I’m sure I’d feel the same. Hugs to you xx

So sorry for this very sad news. I cannot imagine how you are feeling but just wanted to show some support for you. I know how it feels not to be able to talk to your friends because they have all been blessed with children. Speak to your clinic and take time for you.

This may not be the end of your journey for a family. Take care and be kind to yourself. Xxxx

So sorry Hun. It is an awful feeling. Hopefully it will happen for u. Take good care xx

In so sorry! Sending hugs xx

I’m so sorry to read this. I’ve just got a BFN too, it’s rubbish. Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

Rainbowhope in reply to Lou7744

Sending you love and best thoughts too. Xxxx

Am so sorry look after urself and u will find the strength to go again sending u big hugs xxx

Thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart. I have never posted on this forum before but today I didn’t know where else to turn. I’m glad I did because everyone’s messages have made me feel supported and not alone. DH and I will try private treatment now. Must never stop hoping

You are not alone Rainbowhope, we all share your grief and heartbreak. Be kind to yourself - allow yourself time to meltdown and grieve, allow those around you to support you. You’ll get through this, thinking you xxx

I’m so sorry for your bfn but Don’t give up!!! imagine how lucky your child will be to have a mummy and daddy that have fought so hard for them, in which ever way he/she comes from for ladies like us! It’s ok to have sad days but then we have to pick ourselves up and carry on fighting! Sending you lots of love and hugs x x x

Thank you amazing strong women❤️💕👍😘

I am so very sorry to hear that you didn’t have a positive outcome and also that you are feeling so low. My heart really goes out to you. I do know what that feels like but I also know that little by little it is possible to build yourself back up again. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve. Counselling was one of the things that helped me get back on my feet after a particularly difficult time. Perhaps it’s something you might consider. Thinking of you xx

Rainbowhope in reply to Dunla

Thank you for your kind words. I am on a waiting list for counselling so I should be starting that soon. Xxxx

Dunla in reply to Rainbowhope

I’m glad to hear that. Hoping you don’t have too wait too long. Take care xx

So sorry I know how you feel,it’s so so hard. Only time can heal it. Give yourself time to grieve. xx

I’m so sorry. You need to be kind to yourself through this grief. Xx

I am so so sorry for your loss.please know you are not alone and support is right here for feels so so painful now but with time you will find a way forward..take care xxxxx

I have a severe endometriosis and I had a large chocolate cysts on my left ovary which I got aspirated in November last year before undergoing my first ivf cycle

But unfortunately I first cycle failed and I have two frozen embryos left which they are going to transfer next month

But I am already feeling hopeless as I this too is not going to work

As if there is something wrong with my uterus

I have started feeling that once you get a negative result you are going to get it again

I know this is horrible but this is how I feel

It’s worse when people keep you asking about the good news and you don’t have anything to answer

I don’t have any encouraging words for you dear but all I can say is when you are overwhelmed with difficulties in life we can just surrender our problems with god and he will do the rest!

I just pray to god that you find strength to keep fighting!

Dearest Rainbowhope, so very sorry to read this, please be kind to yourself xx allow yourself to feel all the emotions, this is the toughest journey, and its ok to spend days on end crying and feeling hopeless, wont feel this empty aching sadness forever, and in time I hope you can pick yourself up and be able to start saving for your next try. Please don't give up hope, the positive and negative days will come in waves, but try and hold onto those positive feelings xxxx and please don't give up on your own family, I feel absolutely the same as you, there is not much point for me if I cannot be a Mummy, and I'm sure many feel this way, but we have to keep trying and having hope. Take good care of yourself xx

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