Well that's me out πŸ’”: Today I'm 12dp... - Fertility Network UK

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Well that's me out πŸ’”

TTCs profile image
TTCs
β€’86 Replies

Today I'm 12dp3dt...test day isnt for 2 more days but tested BFN on a CBD pregnancy test this morning, still thought there may be hope, it's too early, then some gross brown coloured crinone discharge (sorry TMI) when showering this morning, still clung on to hope but about an hour later this was followed by red blood when i wiped using the loo (again sorry, TMI). I usually have extremely light, short periods, sometimes lasting only half a day, so the only plus is this will probably be short lived. It's heartbreaking but unfortunately we have no control over it. I did everything right so feel i gave the embies the best shot. It seems there's been so many BFN's on here recently πŸ’” sending strength to all of you going through it. Now to cry, get it all out and pick myself up for round 2. We only get 1 funded round & have no frosties seeing as we only got 2 eggs this cycle and they were both put back, so will need to fork out the cash which rly sucks but needs must! I haven't told anyone yet, not even my lovely husband, he's at work and i dont think its fair to tell him there, I'll wait until he gets home. xx

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AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Awwwwww lovely. Im soo sorry to hear this bless you. It's gutting. Your right lots of bfns recently really heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs hun and hope you both have some comforting treats lined up for yourselves. Be kind to yourself hun. Really sorry πŸ’—πŸ€—πŸ˜˜

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you for your lovely message. We had booked a hotel break next weekend to either celebrate or commiserate together so least we have that to look forward to. Think i just need to allow myself to cry and let it all out, least im not in work today πŸ’žxx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to TTCs

Bless you lovely a break is a good idea. crying is good too sometimes a good cry and a hug from hubby just makes life feel that little bit better, big hugs lovely. You'll get through this and come back stronger for round two πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ€—πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16

Devastated for you. Very disappointing. Be kind to yourself today. Wishing you all the best and every success when you embark upon round 2. Xo

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Poppy16

Thank you! That means alot πŸ’žxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

You’re right, there’s been too many bfns 😞 I’m so sorry to hear of yours too. I’m sorry every time I read about one. I’m thinking of you, you brave lady. Hugs πŸ€— xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Tugsgirl

Thanks lovely. They truly suck but least we know we arent alone in all of this! Think I deserve some chocolate today πŸ’ž xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to TTCs

And wine 🍷! xx

oharal profile image
oharal

Oh I am so sorry to hear this :( Make sure you take time for yourself! Make sure you sit and have a lovely cuddle with your husband, get a takeaway and decide tomorrow what you are you going to do next. Life can be so cruel sometimes. Here if you need a chat, sending lots of hugs you way xxxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to oharal

Thank you, thats so lovely and kind of you. I havent eaten a takeaway in months and have dreamed of what i might have and now i dont even want one lol. Im sure i might in next few days. I do want chocolate though and have been having small amounts but going to have a big amount today lol. Cant wait for hubby to get home, he is working late so will be tonight before i see him and i just cant tell him until he is home, dont want him to have to put a brave face on. Xx

oharal profile image
oharal in reply to TTCs

Chocolate sounds amazing!! Indulge in a giant bar and put on a really crappy chick flick. Im sure he will understand that you didn't want to upset him whilst he was at work, maybe send him a little text just sending him some love. xx

Penders profile image
Penders

Oh I'm so sorry to read this. Be kind to yourself, sending you lots of hugs. Xxxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Penders

Thanks lovely x

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Awwww Im so sorry! Cry together and hold each other tightly....bleeding early and getting bfn's are so cr@p! Sending hugs xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Cinderella5

Thanks lovely. Cant wait until he is home xx

AnnieAnnie profile image
AnnieAnnie

So sorry to hear this, it's devastating. I hope your husband is home soon to look after you and you can both grieve together xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to AnnieAnnie

Thank you πŸ’ž

Elizabeth86 profile image
Elizabeth86

I’m so sorry to hear this 😒. I wish you every success on your next round xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Elizabeth86

Thank you πŸ’ž

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

I’m so sorry to read this, it is just heartbreaking. I hope your husband gets home from work soon to give you lots of cuddles xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Kyell2

Thank u πŸ’ž

vic77 profile image
vic77

Awwww honey..I am so so sorry..sending love xxxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to vic77

Thank u xx

Awww bless you. I'm so sorry to read this. You're right about all the Bfns, I'm trying not to let it put me in a negative frame of mind. Take care of yourselves xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

Thank you! Don't let the BFN's impact ur positivity, there have been times on here with lots of BFPs too even with those on their first go, best of luck πŸ’ž xx

in reply to TTCs

Thank you. I hope hubby is ok when you let him know. I find that bit the hardest - I can't bear to see the disappointment 😒 Hope you can do something nice this weekend xx

So sorry for you! I guarantee you it sucks moore when you have to pay for all of your ivf treatment! We pay taxes to, but apparently we live in a no no zone 😀

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

No doubt! Being thousands of pounds down the drain is just an extra blow! Im gutted we dont have a frozen round and have to pay already but nothing else for it. Life is so unfair xx

So sorry to hear this TTC. Stay strong, I know it's hard. Thinking of you.x

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

Thank you πŸ’ž

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

How r u doing after ur loss? ❀ x

in reply to TTCs

I'm doing ok. Just trying to stay distracted really. Really want this cycle to be done and dusted now as I've been bleeding for a week and I don't see an end to it. Try and be good to yourself and don't hesitate to pm me if you want to chat.x

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

Thanks lovely, same to u! Distraction sounds like a good technique. Take care πŸ’ž xx

JULIETJAM profile image
JULIETJAM

I am so sorry to hear that TTCs. My heart bleeds for you. Look often yourself my dear and trust that round 2 will be successful. Be kind to yourself and may God be there for you and your hubby during these difficult times and difficult day. πŸ€— hugs

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to JULIETJAM

Thank u lovely πŸ’ž means alot xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

I’m so sorry, always remember it’s nothing you did it’s just one of the cruelest bits of this journey. Cry as much as you need, in time you’ll feel stronger again xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to E_05

Thank you! I feel like i done everything i could, i tried so hard. Im going to book an apt to get my hair done, one of the many things ive put off πŸ’ž

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to TTCs

You definitely did! I always get my hair done to, think it helps doing something for yourself xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to E_05

πŸ’žπŸ‘§

I’m so sorry that it seems to be over this time. πŸ˜”

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

πŸ’ž

-noodles- profile image
-noodles-

oh i am so, so sorry to read this. such a cruel end to an exhausting journey.

please be kind to yourself and have all the take away & chocolate you can manage.

you’re so considerate not telling your hubcap until he gets home, but you need support too. sending you a big hug xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to -noodles-

Thanks noodles. I just cant do it to him, he works with a group of men and as much as he'll put on a brave face he'll be totally gutted. When he gets home we will have many tears im sure but for now my dog is as good a comfort as any xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

So sorry to read this, be kind to yourself xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Aleelilook

Thank you xx

Looby25 profile image
Looby25

I’m so sorry to read this! Take care of each other and remember how strong you are for going through this difficult and emotional journey! X x x

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Looby25

Thank u x

Lou7744 profile image
Lou7744

I’m so sorry to read this. It’s a really rubbish time. Sending you big hugs πŸ’• xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Lou7744

Thanks lovely x

I am so so sorry to hear your news, I know there are no words. Take Care of yourself and sending you lots of hugs xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

Thank u. Counting down till hubby is home xx

7AVA profile image
7AVA

So sorry to read this TTCs - it’s such a hard time. Hope you and your husband are ok xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to 7AVA

Thank u. Hubby still doesnt know, waiting until he is home x

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88

Awww Hun thinking of you xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to kelsbels88

Thank u xx

lianm8 profile image
lianm8

So sorry to hear this- take care of yourself xxxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to lianm8

Thank u xx

Stepharni profile image
Stepharni

So sorry to hear this, sending hugs and inner strength x

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Stepharni

Thank you xx

Anna00 profile image
Anna00

Just saw your message,I’m so sorry to hear thisπŸ˜” yeah lots of BFNs recently and it’s so cruel.stay strong there is still hope for you as you tested early. Take a good care of yourself I know how hard is that for you xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Anna00

Thanks lovely, appreciate it xx

Anna00 profile image
Anna00 in reply to TTCs

😘❀️

Dunla profile image
Dunla

Oh i’m so sorry, you poor thing. I hate to think of you dealing with this at home on your own.

I am absolutely gutted for you. I had really wanted this to work for you. I thought that since so many of us had received negatives over the last few days that surely you were due a positive result.

I know how heartbroken you are. It’s so unfair. There are just not enough words. Sending you a very big hug and loads of love. I’m thinking of you and am here for you ❀️❀️xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Dunla

Thanks so much Dunla. My husband is not long home from a long day's work, dont know how i managed not caving and contacting him at work!! He is trying to be strong and thinks there is still hope for Sunday, i cant see it.

I guess the universe didnt see it that way. Hope some of ladies on here get their BFPs! Goodness knows we need some positive stories!

How r u feeling after y'day? xx

Dunla profile image
Dunla in reply to TTCs

I am genuinely so very sorry for you both. I know how utterly horrible and sad it feels for you today. If I could wave a magic wand and take the hurt away for the two of you I would.

To be honest, I’m not doing that well today. I’ve been feeling pretty rubbish. I’ve had an ache in my chest all day and been pretty tearful. Think I’m just wrecked tired too which doesn’t help. Had to go for that job interview too. Thought it would be a welcome distraction but I hadn’t the heart for it. I had an actual ache in my face when I got home from fake smiling πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

I notice you’d booked a wee hotel break for you and your hubby. I think that’s something you both really deserve. Take good care of each other xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Dunla

Thank you, you're very kind!

Ah im sure u did better than u think at the interview and well done for even making it, you're a strong lady. Im sorry it's so rough for you at the moment. It's the waves of grief we have to ride and some waves are going to be rougher than others, but eventually we'll hit that calm beach, thinking of you 😘 xx

Dunla profile image
Dunla in reply to TTCs

A very fitting analogy. Thinking of you also, take good care 😘x

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Dunla

😘

Linds150 profile image
Linds150

I’m so sorry - this sucks so much. 😞

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Linds150

πŸ’ž

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you and your husband are ok. Be kind to yourselves. Wishing you lots of luck for you next round. Here if you want to talk xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

Thank u xx

Missb17 profile image
Missb17

I'm so sorry to hear this, hope you are ok xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Missb17

Thank u x

Kari55 profile image
Kari55

Hi TTCs, I’m so sorry to hear that it didn’t work. Every time someone shares this sad news, my heart sinks. Give yourself some time to recover before looking into next cycle. X

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Kari55

Thank u x

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16

How are you doing today?xo

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Poppy16

Thank u for asking. Been ok, crying on & off but ok. Debating whether i can cope with a christening tomorrow :/

Hows things with u? Xx

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16 in reply to TTCs

Really feel for you. Not an easy time at all. Try not to feel pressurised into going to a christening tomorrow. It may be too much to deal with right now and upset you more. Only go if you know you can handle it. I'm sure your friend/family of baby will understand if you don't go. You could always send a card etc sometime. Keep grieving and crying when you feel like it. Maybe try and go out for dinner later or head to cinema-do something nice anyway. Xo

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Poppy16

I know everyone will be talking if i dont go as i missed a family party last weekend as i was "sick". I actually looked 6 months pregnant with OHSS so couldn't possibly have gone. But im worried if i go tomorrow il burst into tears inappropriately.

It sounds so silly but consultant told me to stay at home & rest & keep taking the progestetone & anti blood clotting injections until OTD tomorrow. I feel like id love to go for dinner and to cinema and i know its over but im still reluctant to go against what has been advised. I know it's stupid! Xx

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16 in reply to TTCs

You are right to follow your consultant's instructions. Much better to heed professional advice. Hope you have been resting. Never worry about cancelling going to christening. You really wouldn't be able to. If people aren't aware of your circumstances you could maybe say that you still haven't recovered. You don't need any pressure put on you at this time. You are going through alot. Sleep well.xo

Violet5451 profile image
Violet5451

I’m so sorry to hear this lovely and praying that next time will work for you. Life is so unfair. Have a good cry and then try and do something nice for yourself and hubby. Sending you lots of love and hugs and wishing your dream will come true very soon xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to Violet5451

Thank you for your kind words. If only we had a crystal ball πŸ’žxx

Violet5451 profile image
Violet5451 in reply to TTCs

Yes a crystal ball would be amazing right now cxx

I hope that you are coping as well as you can possibly be. I’m sorry that it hasn’t worked for you this time. Sending lots of love x

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to

Thank ux

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