What a downer 😢: So am out for NYE... - Fertility Network UK

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What a downer 😢

E_05 profile image
E_05
50 Replies

So am out for NYE with my hubbys family, he doesn’t speak to his mum (hasn’t for about 2 years) but his Mum text him to say happy new year.

He told his dad and his step mum about how shocked he was to get the text. His step mum then went on to ask me if he replied and did I think he’d start speaking to her again. I said I doubt it but it’s his choice to which she went on to say he wouldn’t if he knew the things she’s said.

I said what do you mean and eventually she told me that his mum told his brother she was glad I’d miscarried and we deserved it as karma for him not speaking to his mum.

I don’t know why she couldn’t keep this to herself had just put a complete downer on my night, why are people so hurtful 😭😭

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E_05
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50 Replies
AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Wtf. She couldn't keep it to herself because she obviously has her own grievances towards her and felt that was a, way to get hubby not to talk to her. Foolish childish games. She should have never opened her mouth at all.

I'm so sorry youve had to hear this that's horrid people are so brutal and don't care who they hurt. Big hugs hun thinking of you. I'm sorry I'm really feeling for you right now 💗💗🤗😘😘.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you, i thought the same about it’s just her bitterness and not wanting my hubby to contact his mum just wish she wouldn’t use me to do it. Hope your having a good evening xxx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

Stupid you'd think grown women would use their brains but it's like their back in playground. I'm OK me lovely relaxing on sofa watching telly while my daughter plays with Barbie's waiting for hubby to come home with something nice to eat. Please don't dwell on it hun. Your so much better and been through worse. My ex made a comment similar when I lost my first. Sad sad ppl xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

I know, I just wanted to burst into tears and leave but thanks to you all have held it together.

Ah that sounds perfect, definitely going to try and let the comment go especially with it being a new year xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to E_05

Best thing and try to keep negative ppl at bay don't give ppl a, second thought that don't you.

Have a nice rest of night. Happy new year lovely 💗💗🤗😘😘

Sounds like something my own mother would say as I don’t speak to her either. Why she had to tell you she had said that I don’t know but just remember your better than that and also a strong person. Big hugs xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to

Thank you, sorry you have the same

I don’t understand how mothers can be like it xx

in reply to E_05

God knows what possess them but your better off without xx

She's just as horrible as his mom.dont pay attention to them.people can be so insensitive.im really sorry you had to go through that .

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to

Thank you! X

Ang24816 profile image
Ang24816

Oh hun this is awful. I'm so sorry you have to be around such insensitive people. She's obviously not a nice person and wants others to hurt, as if you're both nor hurting enough. I hope you've managed to stay away for the rest of the night and have some fun. Here's to a better 2018. Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Ang24816

Thank you, I just wanted to burst into tears and leave but writing on here has helped. Hoping we can get away soon, hope your having a good evening xx

romaluna2015 profile image
romaluna2015

Wow that is horrible . I wouldn’t reply back to any of it. Karma is horrible and it will come around and bite her twice as hard when it does. Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to romaluna2015

Thank you, I didn’t reply just trying hard to let the comment go now. Happy new year xx

destiny121 profile image
destiny121

Absolutely disgusting... and being a woman herself... its just awful! Rise above it and karma will bite bk xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to destiny121

Thank you, I did said to my hubby don’t know who’s worse his mum for saying it or his step mum for telling me. Happy new year xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

Wow, that’s a horrible thing to say and I agree his stepmum shouldn’t have told you. It’s like she’s so desperate to make sure he doesn’t speak to her that she’s willing to tell you things that would cause you such pain and hurt? Horrible!

Karma is a bit*h and she’ll get what she deserves back for saying such awful things. My mum is the same, she has a very nasty tongue and we don’t speak. I really can’t understand how some mums can be like this but just need to rise above it.

Hope you managed to enjoy yourself as much as you could after hearing such a horrible thing! 😖 xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Thank you, I know it’s made me realise just how bitter she is to. Sorry you have the same with your Mum, I’m the same I don’t understand how a mother can say such things.

We left swiftly after 12 which I was glad I about, hope you had a good evening and your sickness is easing xx

_MrsC profile image
_MrsC

I can’t believe she said that. It is so cruel. There are some things that should never be repeated. In my book she is worse than his mum because she has made the decision to share it. People say things at times out of frustration and that is not acceptable but to know it will upset you and then repeat it is awful. I’m so sorry she was so unkind on the one day you need to feel hopeful for the time ahead. I’m sending you a big hug! xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to _MrsC

Thank you! I know in a way I feel like she’s as bitter as his Mum. I’m trying to let go of the comment, I have a habit of holding onto things but am telling myself a new year don’t bring it with me and all of you have helped so much as always. Happy new year, hope you had a lovely evening xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Omg that’s so harsh! I don’t speak to my Dad after he didn’t offer any condolences on our first loss, when I confronted him he said “What have I got to be sorry for? It wasn’t my fault.” Needless to say I didn’t hear from him when we lost in September. It’s hard but sometimes it’s better to cut people like that from your lives xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

I don’t blame you, people really don’t get it do they. We cut his Mum out mainly because of her spiteful comments and we’ve been so much better since that’s why I’m so angry and his step mum for feeling the need to tell me it. Hope you had a good night xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

It was ok thank you. A bit loud and long lol. I hope that today, day one, has been a better start for you xx

Positive2022 profile image
Positive2022

I'm so so sorry to hear this, i really don't understand the comments some people feel the need to make. I just hope that you were able to enjoy some of the new year celebrations and look forward to a fresh start for 2018. I really feel for you and i'm here for a chat if you ever need to let off steam lovely. Take care xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Positive2022

Thank you! Having you all to talk to has helped so much as id normally confide in my mum but I know she’ll be fuming and likely to ring my hubbys step Mum. I’m trying to let go of the comment just isn’t proving easy. Hope you had a good evening celebrating the new year xx

Positive2022 profile image
Positive2022 in reply to E_05

I can understand why you're feeling this way. I just can't imagine how someone could say something so hurtful. I know it's easier said then done but if you can let it go and not think about it and look forward to a new year and a new start. We're here always if you need to offload. Hope you were able to enjoy the celebrations a little? We had a quiet night, hubby working early today and i not feeling too well... AF turned up this morning 4 days early. Not sure if this is normal with Clomid? Either way, i'm pleased as can ring the clinic tomorrow and get the next cycle started xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Positive2022

I know thank you, am so grateful to you all. I am trying really hard to let it go, new year so think positive. We left swiftly after 12 but was glad to get home with my fur babies.

That’s good, hopefully the lower dose of clomid will be more successful. My periods altered a little bit with clomid it’s just because of the changes to our bodies xx

Positive2022 profile image
Positive2022 in reply to E_05

Take care lovely and keep in touch xxx

TTCs profile image
TTCs

What a horrible thing for her to share with you. Some things are better left unsaid!!! Hugs 😘

tiger-cub profile image
tiger-cub

Totally horrible . I know exactly how u feel . I don't know why people are like this . This is exactly d story of my life . My MIL hates me from day one . So initially 3 years post marriage I tried to b in good terms with her but then now I gave up . So my hubby doesn't speak to her any more . And this what she goes on telling people behind our back . I don't care . It's hurts me so much inside specially every time we fail . 😭 Why is it my fault if ur son loves me . She should b happy for us .

God help us 😓

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to tiger-cub

It’s so hard isn’t - my MIL is the same I’ve always said to my hubby if he wants to have a relationship with her he can I’d never stand in his way but he got sick and tired of all her minds games. Sometimes I think no matter what we do it wouldn’t be good enough for some people!

tiger-cub profile image
tiger-cub in reply to E_05

That's exactly d same with mine . I've been marred for 10 years tried for 3. Now he's also fed up . But being who I'm sometime I do want them to patch up . But then she'll again say or do something negative . I don't understand her at all

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to tiger-cub

I’m exactly the same I always encouraged my hubby to speak to his mum and make the time to go round there yet I’m the bad one. I think sometimes it’s their own issues that there just taking out on us, sorry you have to deal with the same thing 😕

baby2016 profile image
baby2016

😱😱 omg!! How horrible of the step mum to say these words!!

Personally I would take this as insecurity on the step mothers behalf. She obviously doesn't want your hubby to rekindle the relationship with her mother.

All I can say is there are always 2 sides to every story, and until your hubby speaks with his mother you will never know if what the step mother has said is true or not. I would bet that what ever has been said, if anything has been twisted. Please try not to dwell too much on her nasty words. What sort of a person would repeat those words back to you anyway!

This would make me want my hubby to get back in touch with his mother even more. However that does all depend on why the relationship broke down initially, but seems like his mother has handed out an olive branch there and somehow wants to start rebuilding a relationship, so whatever you both decide do not let his step mother influence that decisionxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to baby2016

Thank you, my hubby replied to say happy new year but I don’t think he ever thought this means they’ll become close again as the reason he fell out with her was down to her nasty comments and controlling ways.

Your right though it’s just showed what a bitter woman his step mum is and that’s very true about their being 2 sides. I’m trying hard to not carry the comment around with me as I know it’ll do me no good.

Hope your doing okay xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Absolutely disgraceful! I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this....effin infuriates me!!😠 I hope you are doing ok today, you dont deserve this crap!! Please try not to think about this....easy for me to say....I know!😔 Why is the world full of idiots?!! Thinking of you & sending you a massive hug.xxxxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you so much, I am really trying hard not to as I know mentally it’ll do me no good xx

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

Bloody hell...why do some people never think before they share something. It really was something that you could have lived without knowing and it was guaranteed to hurt you 😞. Sending hugs x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Kyell2

Thank you, I know it’s a comment I would of never repeated. Think she did it out of bitterness that my hubby might speak to his mum again x

Benjaminy14 profile image
Benjaminy14

I don't understand why people are so cruel Hun .

Sounds like your step mother has her own agenda as well .

Try to shake off negative comments I know it's hard I've been in the same place you are in with family and friends .

Thing to remember is for every negative comments you get or for everybody that wishes you don't get your dream , there is a hundred more of us wishing you success and praying you hold your baby soon , good out ways bad and you have a army of positive people willing you in to success ,

So smile let go of your hurt and trust that you have hundreds of people sending positive vibes in to the universe for you .

I chose to feel sorry for people that say hatful things because they must be so unhappy with their life's to be so negative about others ,

Sending you buckets of support and hugs and a ton of baby dust

Hugs

Nikki xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Benjaminy14

Thank you, that’s a really good way of looking at it. I spoke to my hubby last night and said it’s just reflects what type of woman his Mum is because no one of normal mind would say that xx

Benjaminy14 profile image
Benjaminy14 in reply to E_05

That's exactly it she can't be happy with her life . Karma is a beautiful thing she will be the one to miss out on her grandchild in the end .

Hold your head high brush off the rambling of a bitter women and carry on being you your get there with love and light in your heart .and she will by the sounds of it be alone with her bitter thoughts . Much better to be you Hun xx

Sending hope and best wishes xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

So sorry to read this, people are just so hurtful, how this woman could tell you this is beyond me. I hope the start of the New Year has been a much better one xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Aleelilook

Thank you, I know not sure who’s worse out of the 2 of them! Hope things are going well for you xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook in reply to E_05

Thank you lovely, we got our own sketch and consent forms for our donor egg sl feeling excited but also a little weird! Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Aleelilook

I can understand the mix of emotions, it must be exciting knowing things are moving forward. Really hope all goes well xx

Claire_Mitch profile image
Claire_Mitch

Oh my goodness, what a horrible thing to do, something as nasty as that should never be shared, especially with the person it relates to!!!! You poor thing, I’d want to run out of there in tears, you were so brave and strong not to do that, i hope you can put it behind you and look onwards and upwards to the new year. Sending lots of peaceful and positive thoughts your way xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Claire_Mitch

Ah thank you, I did feel like bursting out crying and leaving but writing on here and everyone’s support helped so much that we swiftly left after 12. Hope your doing okay xx

Kempton profile image
Kempton

Bit late in my reply but clearly she has her own insecurities regarding your husband and his relationship with his mum. There's no other reason any normal person would feel the need to repeat such a hurtful comment, even if his mum did say it.

Nevermind. They can't break you and when you do become a mum at least you knew you'll never say anything so hurtful and idiotic!

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Kempton

Thank you, you’re right she’s definitely shown how insecure she is just makes me want to distance myself from her to. Hope your doing okay xx

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