Fertility Network UK
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New here - struggling a bit - IVF

Hi everyone,

I’m here because other than my husband, I really don’t have anyone to talk to about all this. Im so so lonely and have isolated myself from pretty much every social situation that could possible trigger anxiety and tears. Christmas has been hard. More pregnancy announcements - even from a friend who has opted for a sperm donor and it’s worked! Im happy for her and others but it’s always underpinned with horrible jealously, anger, sadness. A few friends have been incredibly supportive and listen when I have had a few emotional wobbles in trying to get pregnant but they can’t fully understand how it is and I feel like a real downer to go on about it all the time! . My family and my husbands really don’t know how to talk to us about it and avoid doing so. Pretending to be happy around them is exhausting. We’ve been trying for 2 years, I’m now 34 and feeling that panic of edging towards “the fertility cliff edge” of 35. We were originally told I had a very low AMH and was devestated and to prepare ourselves for fertility treatment to not work for us. Only to be told a few weeks later there had been a mistake and new tests showed nothing medically wrong! I still feel something in me is broken and the only thing that will fix it is to become pregnant. It consumes everything. Effects our lives everyday. We start the IVF journey 8th Jan. new tests to be done and then all the fun with that. Lots of dildo condom camera etc. Goodbye dignity! Guess I’m hoping someone on here might want to share this next bit with me? Anyone else about to start IVF? Maybe you are out there too, thinking you’re alone.

26 Replies
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I'm at a different point in the journey to you but want to say a massive good luck and keep positive. x

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Thank you so much. Hard to find that positivity all the time but it’s so lovely to hear support from complete strangers. Xxx

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I am sorry to hear you feeling so low. We are due to start our third cycle on the 8th jan so am going in on the 5th Jan to have an endo scratch. Am here if you want to talk xx

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Thank you for your reply Katrina. It feels better to find people in a similar situation. Endo scratch sounds painful! I wish you all the best for the next bit x ✊

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Welcome to the forum, although everyone is at different points on here there’s always lots of advice and support from all the lovely ladies and gents who do understand how you feel and what it is like to be on this difficult path xxx

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Thank you - it seems like the thing I’d needed for a while :)

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Oh I feel for you, our first cycle has just failed and I’m waiting for my follow up so we can get going on the second round. Christmas was so hard as it was part of the 2ww and I get what you mean about having to plaster on that smile. If you can try and have someone close you can confide in, my husband has been great but he has his own fears too so for me my best friend has been my rock - also this forum I have to say has been amazing, you will be ok on this journey just take the offer of help and support of you can. Wishing all the luck in the world xx

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Hey Emma love, thanks for your reply and I’m so sorry that you didn’t get the result you wanted so badly. I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you and I’m dreading the same thing for us too. Trying not to get my hopes up for IVF and to summon some extra strength from somewhere to get through this next bit. Here’s a bit for you too 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 Xx

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Hi LittleBlue,

I’m at a similar point to you; I’ve got my initial consultation to start IVF on 11 Jan. I’m 34 too and have been trying for two years, and we have unexplained infertility. Feeling very nervous about it and anxious to get started, but also angry that I need it! Happy to share experiences with you as we go through this.

Allison

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Hey Allison, thanks for your reply. We have a lot in common! Maybe I can message you and visa versa on here to keep up to date and chat about things? Trying not to freak out either 😬

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Of course 😊 I’d be very happy to chat anytime!

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Hey, sorry to hear your feeling so alone everyone on here offers such support although we’re at different stages. I’d say the way your feeling is totally understandable, I really struggle with pregnancy announcements and find my friends will listen but don’t truly ‘get it’.

I think the not knowing of the journey is the hardest and you do get use to having little dignity. I hope you get some answers soon, feel free to ask any questions that you feel may help xx

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Thanks for your kind reply, it’s so good to find others in the same boat x

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Hi lovely, i'm so sorry to hear you've been going through such a difficult time. I totally get how you're feeling. I'm at a different stage to you at the moment but i'm also 34 and ttc baby number 1 so fully understand. I am taking clomid but if this fails our next step is IVF. I'm here if you need a chat, my inbox is always open. Wishing you every success with your journey and sending you love and BIG hugs xxx

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Hey Poppy, thanks for your reply! Such a comfort to hear from women in similar situations. Definitely not lonely anymore ☺️ How’s clomid going? We weren’t even offered that - skipped straight passed all other options to IVF due to the initial error in our fertility results. Consultant thinks best to stay with ivf though for chance of success and we were approved funding from NHS and who knows when they’ll cut all that back! H x

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Hi lovely, I do hope IVF goes well for you and you are getting lots of support. This forum is great to chat to those who truly understand and has helped me massively. Hasn't been a great start on Clomid, trying so hard to be positive but was overstimulated and consequently felt rubbish all month. Also started to bleed 4 days early (spotting only) which makes me feel that treatment not working as my understanding was that Clomid was suppose to raise my progesterone levels to stop my lining breaking down too early. Anyway, only thing I can do is await scan to see what's going on. Wishing you every success with your journey and sending you BIG hugs xxx

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Wishing you and your husband the very best of luck in your upcoming treatment.I’m also starting a cycle just now but am a bit further down the road than yourself. I’m 38 and am starting ICSI cycle 5 and using donor eggs for the first time.

Christmas can be particularly lonesome and I too have experienced anxiety and depression as a result of all of this.

I would highly recommend some counselling. I didn’t have any until between cycle 3&4 when I was in a particularly bad way but I really regret not having had counselling from the beginning xx

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Hey there, thanks for your reply and advice. I’ve already looked into counselling and decided it wasn’t for me just yet. It’s also £75 a pop... sounds like you have had a tough time and I really hope that this next cycle works for you. How are you feeling about this next cycle now?

I’m feeling more positive now the new year is here x

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Oh dear, that’s expensive. Fortunately I was lucky to be able to avail of free counselling through the clinic i’m with.

I’m so glad to hear that the New Year has brought you renewed optimism, long may it continue 😊

Feeling mixed emotions about current cycle, as usual. I am excited that it is finally happening though as it has taken some time to get to this point.

Wishing you all the very best for 2018 x

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Hope you will find this place a form of support for you. Personally I have found it amazing - always someone around to offer words of encouragement or advice! Would be lost without everyone. I’m at a different stage to you, had our second cycle fail early December but feeling positive about our 3rd cycle next year. Wishing you lots of luck xx

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Hi, thanks for your reply. Wishing you luck too and so happy to have found this place. So wonderful x

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Oh yes with IVF you lose all your dignity but you'll overcome. All the best.

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😊 thank you

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Wishing you all the best. We had our first appointment in December where I was told I'd need 3 months of prostap before starting our first cycle so a longer wait than i was expecting! We will be starting in March which seems so far away right now, just trying to stay positive in that these 3 months are to increase our success rates! ❤

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Hello and thanks for the well wishes! I have no idea if 3 months is a long time or not for the prostrap - very new to all this. Is that injections too? Ouch! Wishing you all the very best 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

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I think it's quite long. Luckily, it's just one injection that lasts 3 months! Thank you, just had a phone call to organise medication delivery, better make some room in the fridge! 😂

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