Fertility Network UK

Happy for other pregnant people, but sad for me!

I’m due to start my first round of IVF in January and I can’t wait to start now, but there’s a lovely lady in my office who has announced she’s 16 weeks pregnant and now all I hear are the baby talks. Everyone asking “have you got any cravings?” “How are you feeling?” “What bits have you got for the baby” etc and it really pulls at my heart strings.

I feel guilty because she is so lovely, but when she told me that she came off the pill and fell pregnant within 3 months, I just felt like I wanted the ground to swallow me up :-(

My friends at work know about my situation and my devastating miscarriages, but this person doesn’t. I want to be friendly and get involved with the conversations, but every time I hear the talks it just makes me feel so shitty. X

4 Replies

Oh I honestly really feel for you, work pregnancies are so hard cause there’s no where to escape. Have you tried talking to her and just explaining what you’ve been through and although your happy for her some days it’s hard to talk about.

I guess unless you’ve struggled or walked this journey you don’t really think about the impact pregnancy talk has on another person xx


Hi lau_har1. Well, first of all I want to wish you well with your forthcoming cycle of IVF in January, and hope all ends well for you. It is difficult hearing baby news and positive stories, when all you want is your own baby. No need to feel guilty about how you feel, you're just reacting just the same as others who so want a baby. Maybe you could have a coffee with this colleague and tell her how you feel at the moment, and wish her well. Perhaps just for now, you need to be careful who you spend your time with, until you feel more able to cope. When you start your treatment cycle, or perhaps before, do

take up the offer of any counselling to support you. Thinking of you. Diane

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Really sorry to hear of your losses. It is incredibly cruel and heart breaking to see and hear of others' successes with pending babies on the way. It is not their fault and is marvellous that they are pregnant and all is well. However, it wounds people who are ttc and have suffered losses even more. I wish you every success on your 1st ivf round in January. I trust that all goes smoothly and is successful for you and you finally get your precious baby and become a mummy. Please don't give up and try (if you can) to be positive. Better times are coming. It will soon be a New year, new beginnings, new prospects etc. Take care. Sending you a hug.xo


I know how you feel... Ive been off work whilst going through this cycle but just before i went off a girl from my office was complaining how hard it was as she had been off her pill for just four month!!!!! Then whilst i have been off she has announced her pregnancy so she fell from being off her pill for just three months ... Im going back to work on the 20th and im dreading it for this reason... Having a really bad day today as well, very tearful on my two week wait so im hoping and praying i get my BFP to go back to work with unless its going to be a really awkward office.. My younger cousin also announced the birth of her baby girl today.. Its the hardest journey but we will all get there eventually, best of luck xx


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