Miscarriage:-(

[Sara-J-]

Hi all,

I’m new on here. I’ve just had a miscarriage and found out at my 12 week scan. Unfortunately my baby died at 7 weeks and 1 day. I’m finding it difficult to come to terms with it - although it did happen only a week and a half ago, so still early days. It’s just devastating. The pain of miscarriage was horrendous but lasted really just a few days. Now my body just feels odd. I think it’s the emotional side that will take a lot longer to heal.

I’m 40 years old and wasn’t planning on having more children as I already have two healthy boys. I count myself very lucky to have them. However now I feel like I need to have one more. I was all geared up for this one and suddenly it was taken away.

[Tezzabell86]

I’m so sorry for your loss I cannot begin to understand what you are going through right now. We are always here to chat if you need someone to talk too. My thoughts go to you and your family at this time xxxx

[Sara-J- in reply to Tezzabell86]

Thanks it’s a tough time. My children were so excited about having another brother or sister and they keep asking questions that are difficult to answer

[Tezzabell86 in reply to Sara-J-]

I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. You answer them questions when you feel ready. Right now grieve for your loss and in time you will be able to answers those questions one day. Xxxx

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear that. Missed miscarriage is the worst as you have no idea any things wrong as at least with an ordinary miscarriage you get an idea something is wrong but its never nice whichever way it happens.

[Lynnr54]

Hi, sorry for your loss. The only advice I can give is to take your time coming to terms with it. The grieving process is a long one so don’t put any pressure on yourself to just get on with things.

I think there are some good books which are supposed to help you explain things like this to children. If you google them you might be able to find some good recommendations.

[Missy_22]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Take time to recover and heal. Xxxx

[Hidden]

I'm really sorry .hope your healing is soon.take care of yourself.sending hugs your way.

[Sara-J-]

Thanks x

[StephyBuch]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! Miscarriage is a new kind of hell - I can understand what you've been going through right now. Yes, it is still early and it will take time to cope with the loss. I hope you find the strength to make peace with it and move on with life. Trying for a child now will be good for your emotional stability - so go for it if you must.

[krystal101]

Hey, sorry to hear about your loss. I was really devastated when I suffered from the same. You need some time when lost some precious thing which can’t be recovered. My husband gave me a lot of support to went through this storm. After treatment, We blessed with a baby girl. It's good that you already have two children. In my case, before my miscarriage, I don’t have a baby. So, it was even more difficult for me. I can understand how it feels when you lose your baby. But you should be happy, you have two. Best of luck for next time

[Margarita201]

Hi Sara

Today we had our first dating scan. We thought that we are 12 weeks. We also took our daughter who is almost 4 to see the baby.

However got devastated news. Our baby stopped developing at 7 weeks.

Now we need to make a decision ofor the miscarriage.

I felt like we should wait for the nature to take it's course.

But my relatives are worried that it has been 5weeks and I shouldn't wait. They worried that I might have an infection.

Is that possible. If it is not too hard for you could you tell me of your choice.

Thank you

[Sara-J- in reply to Margarita201]

Hi Margarita,

So sorry to hear of your loss

I decided to go it alone with no medication. I started bleeding a bit the day of the 12 week scan but that night it started coming really heavy. The following day was horrendous - lots of blood loss and very very upsetting. It was really painful similar to early stages of labour but the nurse had given me some strong pain killers just in case. Although I managed with ibuprofen. The bleeding lasted for about 3 weeks.

I’m not a fan of taking medication unless you really need it. They wouldn’t offer options if you didn’t have a choice. If I can’t control what has happened I can certainly control my own destiny following it! So no medical intervention was my choice.

So it’s up to you completely ..... medicine or no medicine - as long as you decide then you can take a small bit of control back.

We are lucky to have children already but actually it doesn’t stop the emotional pain.... the loss of your baby is truly heart breaking and something that will take a very long time to come to terms with.

Just take care of yourself and let yourself grieve.

Sara x

[js7479570]

Hey Sara! Hope so you are doing well. I just read your post and I really felt sorry to know about your miscarriage. It's really a very painful thing for a woman. Seriously, the grief is unforgettable. I have also been through a miscarriage. I think you should diagnose the cause that is leading to the loss. Instead, there is another option that you can avail is surrogacy. In this process, a third mother will carry your baby by using your gametes. In this, the chances of loss will be reduced. Surrogacy is helping people a lot in this respect. You should also consult with your doctor about it. I hope it will be fruitful for you

[Isla66]

I am sorry about your miscarriage. I know it is not easy to admit. I also had a miscarriage. The accident changed my life totally. The fact that you can't conceive naturally is not so easy. This life is not a bed of roses. For every happiness, you have to struggle hard. Life can't be stopped. I recommend you to consult a doctor. Don't lose hope. It's never too late. You should try alternatives. Keep trying and convince your husband of other ways too. You will get the news soon.

[Sara-J- in reply to Isla66]

Hi Isla,

Thanks for your kind message. It was a big shock last year to have a miscarriage. My baby was due on 1st June so it was again upsetting to think that things could have been so different. However, I am happy with my two boys - aged 10 and 8. Even though we would love to have another, we don’t want to take the risk of the same thing happening again. We are just so lucky to have had two children already and they are both happy and healthy which is all a parent can ask for.

I hope you are ok and if you are trying for children then I wish you all the luck in the world xxx