Life

[Patty74]

Just looking for advise. Just found out my partner is gambling he had a problem but gave it up. I was hoping to give up work if I had a family and rely on him for support. I'm paying the mortgage at the moment all of it. We split everything else my mum gave us money for ivf. Question is just found out had a feeling he was gambling again logged onto his account yes it's his money but hundreds each week! He has no savings and has no interest in saving for our future. Anyway I'm at breaking point about to embark on ivf 3 abroad......ive not confronted him yet he's at his weekly poker club......sorry for the rant I don't know how much I can take anymore x

[Tugsgirl]

You need to talk to him about it. It sounds like he has a real problem. I know someone who had a real gambling addiction too and it didn’t stop until they’d used up all of their life savings. Very sad. It’s an awful addiction. He has to accept the fact that he has a problem. There are support groups for gambling addicts. Hopefully you can talk him into attending one. You can put blocks in place for the gambling sites (do a quick internet search because I can’t remember how you do it exactly). You could also offer to take care of his finances? If he really wants your help he will agree to it. Good luck xx

[Patty74 in reply to Tugsgirl]

I've tried this has been going on years I finally thought it was over I thought we could move on. I know bit difficult as I shouldn't of been checking up on him in the first place. I just need a break everything seems to go wrong thanks xxx

[Amanda86]

Very sorry to hear this. It must be extremely difficult, especially when you thought he was over the addiction.

Agree with Tugs, I think you need to speak with him.

Make it clear that he gets the proper help he needs now or you'll need to walk away, it might help him to realise how serious his gambling is and what it could cost him?

£100's weekly is a lot of money, especially when your going through IVF treatment and would like support from him financially when you do have a family together.

I really hope you manage to get things sorted.

I've seen how addictions can really ruin people's life, just very sad that the person with the addiction doesn't always see this! Xxx

[Cinderella5]

I think you need to have that dreaded conversation. Im sure he'll try to blame it on you for checking up on him but dont let him pull that one. Is there any way that you could agree to have him pay his wages into a joint account on pay day for bills that he doesnt have access to or a savings account so that the temptation of having money around to feed his habit?! I know this doesnt help the problem, can you have his gambling accounts locked? They have this facility on the websites to opt out for period of time etc. I know its easy for him to change to a new one but I think he needs to agree to let you see his accounts until you can get some trust back....might seem a bit degrading for him but he's created this issue. My cousin had a huge issue with online gambling and a friend of my hubby did too and sometimes you just have to be brutal!xx

[Leesara]

Sorry, this is such a hard situation to be in and very sad for you. As others have emsaid, the conversation together needs to happen. Thinking of you x