Heartbroken

[Kitkat82]

Hi everyone, my name is cat I’m 35 this was my first pregnancy after a list of problems etc I went to have my 12 week scan today to find out the baby died at just over 7 weeks I’ve got to decide weather to have a surgical or medical can anyone help or advise me... I’m devastated 💔

[E_05]

I am so sorry to read this, totally understand your heartache. I think the choice is totally personal, I had medical management last year and it worked but this year I tried it twice with no success and went on to have surgery. Surgery is a lot quicker and the physical recovery I found easier but if you want to talk any more please message me. Thinking of you, take all the time you need to grieve xx

[Kitkat82 in reply to E_05]

Thank you for your quick reply... i really thought this was it.... finally!! I can’t help thinking it was something I did or I just don’t deserve it I know that sounds pathetic!! I’ve had a few surgical procedures in that department... I just don’t know what to do... did you ever get a happy ending?

[E_05 in reply to Kitkat82]

I asked myself and this forum exactly the same questions but it’s nothing you have done so don’t ever blame yourself, life can be so unfair! I haven’t had my happy ending yet, I had my surgery 3 weeks ago and a service yesterday for my little angel.

I had a lot less bleeding after surgery, I wish I could answer the question for you but I can’t. I knew I always wanted medical management and found the thought of surgery hard but I was relieved in the end when I had it x

[Kitkat82 in reply to E_05]

Thank you so much!! I wish you the VERY best xxx

[E_05 in reply to Kitkat82]

Thank you, and to you. I hope you make the decision that’s best for you. Always here if you need to talk xx

[Chloegreenkiwi]

Oh so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice but just sending you a big hug x

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Awwwww hun I'm so sorry for this this happened to me on Monday I was 8 weeks and told baby stopped at. 6 weeks.

I'm currently waiting for it to hopefully happen naturally. If it doesn't I'll be having medical management.

I can't advice as all my other miscarriages have been normal just bled and they we're complete. I can say I know how your feeling and I know many others on here do too and they will be able to offer support and advice. I just want to send you a big hug hun so sorry 💗💗🤗😘

[Kitkat82 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thank you so much!! I’m so sorry you are going through it too xx

[Amanda86]

I'm so sorry to hear this 🙁 Thinking of you xxx

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear this, thinking of you xxx

[Hidden]

Oh so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice but just sending you a big hug xx

[Penders]

Oh Cat I'm so sorry to read this. Sending you big hugs xxxx

[emma2739]

You poor thing that’s absolutely devastating. I am so so sorry. I’m sorry I don’t have advice to offer, just wanted to say look after yourself and let yourself cry and feel sad for your loss. Xxx

[Becky179]

I'm really sorry to read this. Thinking of you xxx

[Poppy16]

What terrible news. I am so sorry to hear this. I really feel for you. I have lost in the past a few times out of which I had 2 surgeries. I found the surgery quick and not as traumatic as having to pass naturally (had partially passed naturally with my recent loss but ended up with emergency D and C) This is incredibly difficult for you right now. Manage with whichever method you feel comfortable with. The Miscarriage Association website is very informative on methods of managing a miscarriage. None of this is your fault. Sadly miscarriages are beyond our control. Please PM me if you need any help with answering any questions and I will try my best to answer them. Thinking about you. You will get through this awful time. Take each day at a time, you will heal physically but it will take longer to heal emotionally. Reading your sad post really has brought back the depths of emotions,pain etc when I lost in the past. There are simply no words... Big hugs.xo

[Tugsgirl]

I’ve had two missed miscarriages this year; one in April and one in September. I had surgery for the first one. It was a much quicker process but the anaesthetic made me quite sick afterwards. I had medical management for the second one. It was painful and scary but I am glad that I did it in the comfort of my own home. If you have any questions ask away.

I’m sorry for your loss xx

[Kitkat82 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Hi, can I ask how far you were with the medical? What made you decide to do it? Out of the two which would you say was better for your body? Do you think either effect your fertility? Sorry for all the questions I’ve been trying to research it but I can’t stop crying nor can I think straight!! Thank you so so very much! I’m also terribly sorry you’ve gone through this twice you must be so strong xx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Kitkat82]

I’m here to answer you if I can so don’t worry... I found out at my ten week scan but our baby had died at around 8 weeks. Of the two options I’d say that medical was probably better than surgery, just because it’s less invasive. However it does take longer. It can be quite painful. So if you’re looking for it to be over more quickly then surgery is the better option.

I’ve been assured that neither should affect my ability to carry again should I get pregnant.

What does your gut instinct say? My gut told me surgery with our first but my gut feeling was medical management with our second.

I don’t see myself as strong. You just keep breathing and putting one step in front of the other and it gets a little easier every day. You can do this too, I promise. xx

[Kitkat82 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you... even though I can’t hear you I can feel so much from this message! ☹️ I think I’m going to do a medical... Ive had sooo much surgery I think it will be better for my body and in a horrible way maybe make it better to deal with rather than waking up and it all be done!! Thank you again from the bottom of my heavy heart xx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Kitkat82]

You are so welcome. It can be a scary process but message me any time and good luck xx

[Squeak2]

Sorry for your loss, hugs to you xx

[Sunshine09]

Thinking of you 😘 xx

[City74]

Sorry for your loss. You must be devastated. Thinking of you.

I had surgical management for one of my muscarriages and it was very quick and the recovery (physically) was pain free and uncomplicated. Personally I would choose this option again - I don't think I could have coped with medical management on my own at home. However I know that this is the right choice for many people - everyone is different.

It is such a difficult time and I hope you are being well looked after. It is really important to be kind to yourself. You are probably feeling really shocked at the moment. I am sorry this has happened and I wish you all the best. xx

[Cinderella5]

Oh Im so sorry Cat! I cant offer any advice, just wanted to say Im thinking of you!xx

[Missy_22]

I’m so sorry to hear this. I had surgical at 9 weeks it was easy and painless. Justcrested well afterwards with goodnpain killers. They said to me it was fine regarding trying for ivf again. All the best. Please look after yourself xxx big hugs xxx 💗

[Hidden]

that's so bloody unfair having that happen. With a surgical miscarriage they put you to sleep and you wake up and its more or less over although you need a supply of pads to use when you go home and medical management is when they give you tablets and you pass the baby at home and it takes longer but its up to you to decide what's right for you and you will need loads of pads and painkillers whichever way you go.

I went for surgical management after I had a loss years ago and found it was quick and all over quite quickly and I found the emotional wounds took a lot longer to heal than the physical ones.

[ditsy999]

aww im so sorry about your loss x