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Fertility Network UK
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Struggling with a negative mind

Can anybody help me.

Myself and my partner have been referred to a fertility clinic.

We have been advised we will probably have a six month wait for our first appointment.

In the mean time I have blood tests and a scan. Sadly my partner is infertile - so the only way we have a chance of getting pregnant is through ivf However I have bee been pregnant in a previous relationship twice, and both times I miscarried :( the last time I even found out I was expecting twins.

I feel like this should be a new and exciting chapter for me and my partner, but I’m too frightened about going through the loss for the third time.

My partner is trying to be positive & I know I should be too, but in all honestly, I really can’t see it happening for us.

I’m frightened my negative mind could spoil things for us, but then if I was to get my hopes up and then it didn’t work the disappointment will just be unbearable

Has anybody else overcome these kind of emotions? Are they normal?

Can anyone Give me advise on how best to Chanel my negativity?

I suppose when we put ourselves through this process we open ourselves up to possible heartbreak..

but if we don’t try then we will never know.

4 Replies


I can be really negative, so much so that I am surprised I am going through this process at all!

I was feeling really negative after my first failed round in the summer, I’ve been having Hypnotherapy and I think that has really helped me. I can’t say I am as positive as I was on my first go, but I now feel in a position to give it another go, which I didn’t a few months ago. I researched a Hypnotherapist that specified ivf as one of the things they support.

Good luck!

1 like

Thanks for your message em2804!

Hypnotherapy is something I will definitely look into!

Wishing you all the luck in the world 💗



So sorry to hear about your previous losses. It's heartbreaking.

I just wanted to let you know that everything your feeling is completely normal! It's such a scary journey, especially when your first going into it and you don't know what to expect!

You've hit the nail on the head with your final comment that if you don't try you'll never know, this is what you need to remind yourself when your feeling scared and unsure.

I won't lie, it's not an easy journey but miracles can happen!

I was pretty terrified about every aspect of IVF, especially injections but it was so much worse in my head than reality.

You've got this! 💪 Xxx

1 like

The book 'the secret ' might be worth a look. All about positive thinking x


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