BBC news did a story on ivf this morning but reading through some of the comments on the original post I am incensed! So much ignorance and insensitivity! Sometimes trying to get people to understand how heartbreaking and tough being infertile is, is like fighting a losing battle 😡
This will probably make you as angry ... - Fertility Network UK
This will probably make you as angry as it did me so please click at your peril 😡
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Tugsgirl
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Wow only read about 10 comments had to come off my blood was boiling, such ignorant horrible people who haven't the first idea what we go through😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Tugsgirl in reply to
I know. I’ve added a few comments. I’m fuming 😤 xx
I can't see the comments, maybe cause I haven't got Facebook? It might be just as well as I'd probabaly be very very angry too! Xxx
Reading some of those comments has made me so angry 😤😡 I cant believe how many ignorant people there are that think adoption is the answer or just not to have children when there’s plenty of people having children naturally who don’t actually care 😡😡 x
I know! There’s a woman going on about overpopulation! xx
I just saw that, where do they find these idiots! Xx
Sadly I don’t think you’d have to look too hard, it’s probably what most people think! 😞 xx
Never this is disgusting. It's flipping natural to want children it's the cycle circle of life. What is wrong with clowns I bet they've all got kids and never had a, problem 💗🤗😘
Think I am glad I can't read the comments now! These people are sick in the head!!!
That's one thing I really hate when people say adopt as if it's easy to make that choice, like it's nothing!
I'd like to serve them all with an almighty punch 🤛🤛🤛 xxx
I think it’s probably a good thing you can’t, some idiots are also saying if you really want children you should have them in your ‘peak of fertility’ and how 40 years ago they didn’t have IVF, well 40 years ago there was a lot they couldn’t do ahh 😤😤 think il stop reading them now lol xx
I can't believe the ignorance and insensitive comments from some people. I only read a few and really could not stand to read any more as they made me so angry. Absolutely no idea the heartache and difficulties we face. Unbelieveable xxx
Exactly. But it feels like making people understand is an impossible task. It’s SO disheartening xx
I know, makes me want to really campaign to educate and raise awareness. Just can't believe the lack of understanding and compassion. It seems it's easy for some people to make sarcastic ignorant comments when they have never experienced the heartache the goes with infertility xxx
I’m always sharing stuff on my Facebook, trying to educate and raise awareness. Most of the time I don’t know why I bother xx
Well done for raising awareness. At least you can say you tried, even if those ignorant people choose to ignore such info. Such an important topic for so many people xxx
Thank you. That’s about all I can say “I’ve tried” *sighs* xx
Sending BIG hugs xxx
Ppl like this are ppl will no skills of empathy at all they see things in black and white and think because they've had children and life's easy in their side that others should just get on with it. Unfortunately they have no sense or can't imagine putting themselves in others position so talk 💩instead. 💗🤗😘
Utterly shocked and angered by the ignorance of our society
It’s hurtful isn’t it? 😞 xx
I’ve just read through a few of the ignorant comments . Some just really don’t understand . . 😱😔. I’ve put a few comments about criteria to adopt and foster . Some of the ignorance is shocking . Maybe they should be thankful they haven’t had the emotional , physical and mental scars of infertility like we have on here 😔 xx
I’ll look out for your comments xx
My name is Holly Wilkinson Mckie with a photo of me and my husband and a scan picture . One comment read that infertility is a gift 😱🤔. even my husband is annoyed with them comments xx
Oh my I just read that comment about ‘infertility is a gift and you should take it as much. Dedicate you life to something else’ SERIOUSLY 😡😡 x
I know. They are unbelievable! xx
I think we've been bashing people together ; ) x
I can't see them probs coz I'm not on there. Vicky get your voice heard and let them idiots know just what it's like. Sorry I can't read them. 💗🤗😘
I have added a few of my own comments xx
Oh my god!!! I’m actually gobsmacked!! I can’t quite believe some of those comments!!! We should pay more tax?! I already pay an absolute fortune!!! We should see it as a gift?!!!! I mean you have to laugh at these ignorant (insert expletive) otherwise you’d go mad!!! Xxx
I wish I could see the funny side. But you’re right xx
Pay more tax? What a cheek!!! The idiot who said that probably doesn't even have a job!!
😡😡😡 serious ar*eho*es!!! Xxx
That’s one comment I have commented on! Outrageous comments!. Xx
I honestly can't believe the comments, people talking rubbish when they clearly haven't gone through IVF and the emotions it encounters. People are narrow minded and need to open their eyes.
Literally just gone on epic rampage over people's ignorant comments. Rage
It amazes the things people will say online to strangers when they can hide behind Facebook. I'm sure they wouldn't say such hurtful, insensitive things to people's faces (most of them anyway). I imagine if they knew someone personally going through the heartbreak of it all, they would change their tune - it's not like if their sibling or best friend said to them 'I am struggling to conceive' that their response would be 'well, you're lucky because kids are hard work and the world is overpopulated anyway'! The thing that really gets me is how easy people seem to think adoption is too like it's the solution to everyone's problems when actually, it's a tough process with a lot of heartbreak as well! Xx
Adoption is the answer to all of our prayers. Not. I’m sick of hearing it xx
Sad thing is they probably would but would be muttering it under their breath x
OMG! How can people be so insensitive and frankly stupid! I can not believe the nerve of some of these people! I didn’t read to the end as I’m not meant to be getting stressed and this made my blood boil!
They’re a bunch of no brain cell idiots! These people have big opinions but no brains. They don’t understand - everything to them is black and white. No compassion and no humanity. It’s true that there are loads of children already in the world but that’s an argument that applies to everyone and not only the infertile. No point arguing with idiots. Xx
peoples comments on there are laughable...all assuming that people who go for ivf do because they left it too late....😱 like we choose to be infertile!!! Arggfhhhhhhh!!!!
Wow. Just wow. The ignorance of some people defies belief sometimes. I understand people will always have differing views on how the NHS budget should be spent, but how the hell is it the responsibility of couples dealing with infertility to adopt all the unwanted children out there?! Incredible xxxx
Exactly xx
Not sure my post a moment ago came up. I was gonna suggest perhaps we should send the bbc the link to this forum then they may get a real idea on how it feels and a bit of balanced perspective on the whole thing! In all seriousness though I would do it myself I just don’t know how!!
That would be a good idea 💡✅👏🏻 xx
Great idea!! 👍 Xxx
Superb idea would we be allowed to do that though contact fertility network and ask xx
Wowza what a joke some of these people are. I nearly made my own comments but thought you know what it isn’t gonna make an iota of difference to those ignorant people! One guy said it wasn’t comparable to cancer treatment and shouldn’t be funded etc I was going to comment to say well I have cancer which will mean I have to have organs removed therefore needed ivf before I do that, so is that acceptable to him or should I just accept that having cancer means I can’t have my own baby but then I thought he will probably reply to say I should be thankful they are treating my cancer or something ridiculous! Grrr make me so angry 😡😡😡 xx
You should have done. It might have stopped him in his tracks. But yeah I get what you mean, some people have an answer for everything don’t they? xx
We should all write statements about what we've been through with ivf, exactly what the process involved for us, our ages and circumstances for having treatment etc and send them into the BBC and get them to post it on their website.
Give these narrow minded idiots just a tiny bit of insight into what we've been through.
Xxx
I’d be willing to do that. Xx
I've emailed the BBC - I'll let everyone know if they reply. I've said we would all like to write individual statements explaining what we've been through and just maybe change the opinions of some of these narrow minded people. I hope they'll reply! 🤞 Xxx
Great stuff well done! Keep us posted!!
I’d happily do this xx
Excellent! X
Love this xxx
My break from fertility stuff is not going well...After not having Facebook for over a year, I logged on to read the comments. Sadly, I was not shocked. Perhaps people who have multiple kids and who are a massive drain on the system should stop having children that a) they can't afford and b) they can't care for so they end up in the care system. It's not the responsibility of every infertile couple to adopt the children of those who aren't responsible enough to have them! That's where the problem lies...If I'd had children at my peak fertility I would have done so with the wrong man and then people would be tutting about me raising children in a broken home and how I shouldn't have had children with someone I didn't see a future with...
Tugsgirl in reply to
So true on so many of your points! I actually commented that I didn’t put my career first, I’m a cleaner! Xx
in reply to Tugsgirl
That was you! I saw that comment 😁 I remember years ago when I was with said wrong man, I connected with an old school friend who had 3 children. She asked me if I had kids and when i said no she said "oh so you're a career girl". Erm, no. I just didn't want kids with a douche Xx
Tugsgirl in reply to
Yea that was me lol. Life has a way of not going to plan doesn’t it? I was married before. We were going to try for a family in our late 20s; get married, then save for a place of our own then babies. However my husband left me for someone else. It took me many more years and failed relationships to find my now fiancé and make me realise how glad I am that it never worked with anyone else. Do I wish we’d met before? Yep! But life doesn’t work that way. Career - haha! Because it’s really that simple lol xx
in reply to Tugsgirl
Not for some of us, no. Ah, your ex husband sounds delightful! You definitely dodged a bullet though it wouldn't have felt like it at the time. I always wish I'd met my partner earlier but I didn't so we just have to play the cards we've been dealt. Xx
Tugsgirl in reply to
It’s funny but I actually still get on with my ex. We’re still friends, there’s no hard feelings. It took me many many years to get over him but now I know he did me a favour and that we weren’t meant to be. I was meant to be with my OH xx
Ah was that you? I should’ve called clicked from your name! X
Haha yep guilty 😂 xx
My situations the same - I never met the right person and didn’t want want to have children with any old body. I do have a career of sorts but that’s partly because I didn’t want to end up a single parent who couldn’t afford normal things for their children like my mum was. I did leave it late but there are always reasons. Xx
Exactly. It isn’t always black and white. In fact it rarely is xx
Exactly - but some people only see in black and white. I always think to myself ‘I’d rather be me!’ Xx
I can't believe the disgusting comments on there I was looking earlier but seems like they have removed some now x
Wow! Some of the comments on that BBC post are incredibly small minded indeed. I was actually quite flabbergasted by some of the opinions and even more shocked about how insensitive the comments were. I can only assume that the people with those opinions are uneducated in infertility issues and have no concept of the multitude of reasons why people need help to try and get pregnant.
I'm going to ignore all their comments, they are obviously very low down on the IQ scale! 🤣
Vic - there were also similar letters written to The Times a few weeks ago. Rolling out the cliche of adoption and cancer treatment. So should all NHS funding other than cancer treatment be taken away. Why should IVF be any less deserving than someone who broke an arm or nose playing rugby. Why should we treat type 2 diabetes for people that consume too much. Why anything.. It's never cut and dried. I was going to share The Times letters too. I'll seek them out. I decided not to, as was too upset by them. These people even give out their names and location, like they are proud of their diabolical opinions...
Tugsgirl in reply to
I didn’t see that.. The only reason I shared it on here is because I needed to vent about it and I knew this was a safe place to do so, not like on the comments of that post xx
in reply to Tugsgirl
Yeah, you are right to share it Vic. I am just reading some the comments on Facebook and my stomach is churning with anger. I also cannot believe how many of the commenters are male. They look like keyboard warriors looking to pick a fight.
I find it all incredibly upsetting.
None of them ever mention that infertility is often caused by other comorbidity such as endometriosis. Had my endo been diagnosed by the NHS when it should have been (about 10 years before I diagnosed myself), I would not have needed IVF treatment...
But then NHS refused to take my tummy pains seriously, so I end up infertile.
I will try to find a link to the Times from a few weeks back. Honestly, the comments were immoral and selfish, with no thought process for how so many of us end up needing treatment.
Tugsgirl in reply to
It doesn’t effect them so they don’t care. It is very upsetting and it undermines everyt emotion, every physical experience we put ourselves through xx
Wow! Just wow! Absolutely gobsmacked and very angry 😡 how dare people who had no trouble having children think it’s ok to judge people that are infertile like that. It really winds me up that people say “you should adopt” why should I? That might be something some would consider but I wouldn’t and it doesn’t make me a bad person or undeserving. Also saying it shouldn’t be available on the NHS. I can’t even begin to retort I’m so mad. Oh and apparently we were all too busy thinking about our careers and should have had babies in our 20’s. Narrow minded assholes that don’t know what they are talking about. Grrrrr
EXACTLY how I felt reading those comments xx
in reply to Purpledazzle27
adoption is only a plaster covering up a deep wound really but if people do want to adopt they need to do it for the right reasons not just to shut someone else up.
I'm not on FaceBook, probably just as well from what you've said, but I did see most of the BBC interview of the couple and the doctor (I can't remember what organisation he was from). I thought that the BBC article was balanced and the couple were treated with respect. It's a shame that the awareness raising efforts aren't getting through to people who cannot understand what it might be like to have fertility issues. I'm not sure what we can do to change their minds. I hope that they are not the majority. After previous articles on the BBC website other people who have had experience of IVF, egg donation etc have responded and the BBC have published follow up articles, again to me they seemed to explain the process well. Perhaps Fertility Network could give some kind of response as well as individuals?
I have no problem with the way it was reported. The problem is how people respond to ivf in general xx
Yes I know that's what you were referring to. There still seems to be a stigma around fertility issues, it's a shame that the ignorance of some doesn't seem to be able to be changed by awareness raising like today's article on the BBC. I hope the couple interviewed haven't had horrible comments to them personally.
The bizarre thing is - people seem to be proud of their awful opinions. Facebook isn't anonymous - they have pics of themselves and names are clear. The ignorance is mind boggling.
Clearly written by people who have had children naturally and easily! Completely ignorant and uneducated.
One thing this whole experience has given me is more grace, understanding, empathy and forever grateful for what I do have. Clearly they need to go and change their Perspective pants. Very tempted to wade in, but I’ll end up arguing with numpties so have restrained my desire! Xx
Bloody hell, there is nothing that annoys me more than people sharing negative opinions about things that they have never experienced or don’t understand.
I know the NHS has limited funds but surely everyone deserves a shot to have a baby. Wasn’t IVF invented for that very reason and pioneered in the uk and on the NHS.
So frustrating!
I’m livid reading these comments had to stop. People who can have children naturally have no idea sometimes.
Just because they have full lives with two or three children and expecting others to suck it up as population control. They have no idea about reasons for infertility and quite frankly they never will, so it’s pointless reading comments from insensitive, ignorant people.
I can't read anymore am just too angry..we all have each other and we know the facts and the truth..these morons can go fuck off as far as I am concerned xxx
may their crotch be infested with ants and their arms too short to scratch. .I heard that saying once about people being horrible to you and kind of liked it😂😂
😂😂😂 ha ha awww I'm in stitches. I'm gonna pinch that one Vic that's hilarious 😂😂. Your right though ppl like that deserve that to happen. 💗🤗😘
in reply to vic77
Good one! I like "I hope they step on lego" That shit hurts your feet!
Quite clearly none of these ignorant people have ever had to deal with the heartache of having something they've always wanted and dreamed if being ripped away 😠😠
My rage continues with one particular imbecile who has just called me ignorant. If only we could meet these people face to face. :@
It’s like trying to reason with a bunch of colour blind imbeciles xx
I think my blood pressure had only just gone down until I saw the prat had commented back. And a woman saying that nhs treating drug addicts and alcoholics should come first. I've raged my own little war against her now too. X
in reply to MrsTM13
You can’t reason with stupid. You can only pity the uneducated. Don’t waste your energy on people like that. Xxx
MrsTM13 in reply to
I know you're right. The ignorance is disgusting. x
I think that’s one I’ve commented on . She got it right back at her. I think that comment has been removed I can’t see it anymore x
I'm not even going to waste my time looking at the negative comments..no point reading about people's ignorance and I really wouldn't worry about what other people think. People with this kind of ignorance obviously have no problems with fertility. Surely us ladies are strong enough to get past this negative media let's try and stay positive 😘
So so upsetting to read!!😱😲
Tugsgirl in reply to
That’s why this post came with a warning. I had no idea people had such little sympathy for our situations, ignorance yes 😞 xx
I can't believe people r so unkind and no fellow feeling at all. They r d least bothered about what we go through. I guess these days one should not expose our sore side to anyone. As given a chance they would love to hit us and pinch us there. Sadly That's d world we r in. 😡😡😩😩
So I couldn’t not look and like you I was disgusted and outraged! Ladies I have put a response back on Facebook
facebook.com/chantelle.marc...
Check it out if you wish xx
Your link takes me to your Facebook page.. I’ll have a browse through the comments xx
I can’t see them xx
Try now I’ve just edited the privacy so it’s public xx
I tried to share your post Chantelle, I hope you don’t mind, but it just shares the bbc video without your status. I would like to have given your post a share xx
No problem you can always copy and paste the text xx
Blood boiled!!!
I once told a poster to fuck off on a forum as she had started a post about why would people be hurt when they find out someone else is pregnant and put things in an extremely rude and insensitive manner which annoyed me.
Tugsgirl in reply to
😞 xx
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