Unexplained secondary fertility - what to do next???

[dmccmky]

Looking for some advice please guys. So ttc 4 years, have 1 child age 6 no problems conceiving. Decided to get tests done privately and had results today. Sperm sample good, amh 20 which they say is good, scan multiple follicles 2 mature whatever that means and no cysts or fibroids. So unexplained. Choice is ivf privately or wait 6 or so months for nhs referral and could be offered iui. Anyone have any advice or success stories for me? I just don't know where to go from here x

[Lynnr54]

Hi, sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. You’ll find quite a few ladies on here with secondary fertility which nearly always seems to be unexplained. You’ll find lots of support on here so welcome to the forum. I just wanted to say you might want to check out what funding you would be eligible for on the NHS before making your decision. Most of the time having a child means that the NHS won’t fund any fertility treatment, although I’m not sure if that applies to IUI as well or just full IVF. It might help make your decision easier though so worth looking into what is offered in your area. Good luck!

[dmccmky in reply to Lynnr54]

Thankyou. Yea have looked into all the options nhs can offer 4 rounds of iui but long wait and success seems to be pretty poor. Ivf would have to be funded privately. Hopefully someone will share their experiences with me xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Have you had your tubes tested? Usually done through an hsg? This would usually happen before you have to have assisted conception x

[dmccmky in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Hey, no if i go nhs they will do this and can get 4 rounds of iui. If go privately they can do it but it's expensive so just recommend straight to ivf x

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to dmccmky]

It wasn’t a long wait on nhs to have hsg test for me, you could have it done then go to ivf privately if no change?

[dmccmky in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thats m next stage xx

[chrystal30]

I had the same problem as you but had been trying for 2yrs with no luck had all the test done come back normal. We have a 7yr old had no problems before. We got told that the NHS would not fund us so we decided to have some time out trying for a baby and do stuff together as a family like holidays and 4months late found out I was pregnant and due a lil girl in December. My story to you is never give up hope

[dmccmky in reply to chrystal30]

Aw wow what an amazing story. Glad it all worked out for u and thanks for sharing your story with me xxx

[Yammie1973]

Hi, I'm 44 and about to start my 2nd egg collection via private funding. My DH and I were given the run around and fobbed with the NHS for 5 years because of our ages etc. so we kind of never had any choice in the matter....The NHS in our area said that I would not be funded as they are attempting to shut down the funding for assisted conception.....not considered life threatening!! Needless to say, we will be going private in future for any and all other medical treatment. We couldn't be happier with our private clinic, we have been treated like human beings and with respect and have never had the ageist card thrown in our faces either. My advice, do your homework, look at all options.

[Cyantist]

While I don't want to be negative, areas are cutting their funding significantly. I was so lucky to get funding for 3 cycles (though only needed 1) but in the year after that they cut it to one cycle and now temporarily they have cut all funding. So you could quite easily wait only to be told you aren't eligible, especially as a lot of areas already won't cover any treatment costs for people who have a child.

Do you have time to wait around? If not, and given the success rates of ivf vs iui id go straight for ivf if you can afford to.

I had 6 goes of iui all failed, ivf worked first time.

X

[ClarabGlasgow]

Hi! Isorry to read this. I m also experiencing secondary infertility which I find really tough . My beautiful daughter is coming up for 4 and we’ve been trying nearly 2 years . I’m 33 & our issues are also unexplained although have had 1 failed ivf cycle which shed a wee bit of light on what might be up. It is a real roller coaster of emotions , feeling like a total failure whilst at the same time incredibly fortunate to be a mother. Feel free to PM me any time xx

[dmccmky in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

Hey thankyou for replying. It's awful and like u say were blessed to have one buy not being able to have that sibling connection breaks my heart. R u having another try?xx

[ClarabGlasgow in reply to dmccmky]

Oh I know the sibling thing worries me a lot. My sister and I are very close and I’d love my daughter to have that too. That says, my sister is pregnant with her 3rd just now so least this way there may be no sibling rivalry! But I never planned for an only child, always felt sorry for them! I can’t face another try yet so going to keep trying naturally and using different supplements/ holistic therapies for now though I am tempted by the access /refund ivf programmes and have just found out that is offered in my area now so might look in to it. I see you might qualify for iui? I’d suggest getting the standard ivf tests done now - you don’t need to take it any further but they are valid for a certain period of time & might give you some info? X

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

My best friend is an only child and she married an only child. They have chosen to only have one child as they both loved being only children themselves. I think it seems crazy for those of us who have siblings, but it really changed my perspective on only children to know that both of them liked being onlys. Personally I’d still choose to have siblings if I could but I think that says more about my personal wishes than anything else. I just thought I would mention it as it still resonates with me, and makes me feel less guilty that we are only likely to have one if any.

[Pip89 in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

I’m an only child, as is my other half. Not deliberately but something personally I’d never have changed, don’t feel sorry for only children, it’s a lovely situation to be brought up in and often are very mature xx

All the best with your ivf cycle sweetie xx

[ClarabGlasgow in reply to Pip89]

Thanks so much that’s lovely to know. We are a very happy wee family of 3 & my dh keeps saying if this is our lot then it’s still going to be great & he is so right. Each time af arrives I feel sad but also even luckier to have my wee girl xx

[Pip89 in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

Your little girl will have such a magical bond with you both xx

I have to admit, we haven’t even got the 1 yet, even though we’re both only children I picture having more but I know if we’re only given one that we’ll definitely make the most of it. When I was little, although no brothers and sisters I had many cousins I was close to. Knowing that my little one (should it ever happen) won’t have cousins worries me, but we’ll make whatever situation work xx

Reading your post above, what holistic therapies are you doing? Interested to learn more x