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Fertility Network UK
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Is it normal for the bloke to be like aye aye and just go along with it? My Oh has always had a laid back side even wedding planning he would be happy to let me n family etc do it all and just show up lol but with this I am struggling to tell if he really is as fine as he says as I catch him unaware staring into space or googling stuff about ivf icsi etc yet if I mention it he just says aw I was just having a nosey I'm fine babe, he rarely talks about it to me let alone anyone else but he got drunk for the first time in months last week and he cried and said he feels like hes not a real man etc then laughed brushed it off and blamed the booze the next day, even said he had no idea what I was on about though I know he was well aware I was sober and he had said it so I told him we are in it together but he says of course sweetheart and does all the right things by me and I mean he acts like I may break and I am like a princess I try to be as their for him as he is for me and I know loads of women would love to be in my shoes but I know my man and I know this is affecting him more than he will ever admit (Stiff upper lip, tough exterior neanderthal type ish lol) I just wondered if anyone els has a partner like this and what you all done and if anyone knows of any male directed sites I cold um randomly leave the laptop open on for him? I did google but got not much luck tbh ty for any help with this x

5 Replies

I think it’s hard for them because it’s not their bodies and they don’t really get it? My husband has seemed so disengaged throughout the whole thing, and even when I told him I got a bfp his response was ‘you were meant to wait for the official test’ 🙄

But then he’ll randomly say something and I realise he’s been googling stuff and is actually really invested, and I think he just finds it hard to express himself, and is so worried something will happen that will make me upset (which is fair, I cried at pretty much every appointment and didn’t go to work for 2 days when I found out ivf was our only option then cried yesterday because I’m terrified of miscarriage)

I don’t really have any advice for you just wanted to tell you you’re not alone!

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That is good to hear anyway, that I am not alone I mean :) it makes me feel less well secluded so ty and good luck I feel your fear and worry I don't thin their is an emotion I am not feeling through this journey I am here if you want to chat or rant ty for reply hun x

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You’re not alone in this. My dh can be the same. Throughout the our whole journey of fertility issues he has always been so very positive and sometimes coming off as very blasé about the whole thing. But deep down, I can tell it affects him just as much, it’s just he wants to be able to stay as strong as possible so he can support me.

He has been my absolute rock and as we get closer to starting our next try at ivf, he’s taken it up a notch of making sure I’m ok and trying to make life as easy and gentle as possible.

It’s shocked me a few times at just how much research and googling he’s actually done without my knowing. He will occasionally come out with a bit of information and then just brushes it off like it’s no big deal.

As for websites, I’m afraid I think he just googles a lot, don’t think he finds one site better than another really.

When we have had a good chat about things, most of the time he has just kind of said ‘yeah, I’m fine, it’s all good’, but just on occasion I can catch him at a time where he will open up a little. Just depends if he’s ready to open up a little I guess ☺️

I hope your oh can open up a little more for you honey. Xx

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He is similar in that way comes out with facts and statistics where I am like huh where did he get that info so I know he goes online etc I am grateful for his support I just wish men had more openess about them at times as I do find it a bit frustrating lol poor guy can't win but he is a legend about it all I am glad to know mines not only one like this lol and ty hun best of luck to you xx


Also here if u need to rant or chat xx


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