So as some of you know myself and my husband had a failed round of IVF at the beggining of this year, we decided to spend this year enjoying holidays and friends weddings before starting a second round of IVF October this year. During our holiday in Australia end of September we were totally shocked but over the moon to discover we had conceived naturally!!! We enjoyed our holiday but was excited to get home to have an early scan which we did a couple of weeks ago. We heard that sonographer say those beautiful words “congratulations” I was 6 weeks +4 days pregnant!!! I’m totslly impatient and 12 weeks seems miles away so decided on another early scan this Sunday which makes me 8 weeks. While having the scan those horrific words “I’m sorry there’s no heart beat “ chilled me to the bone. I could see our baby had grown but there was no flickering heart beat like there was a couple of weeks ago. The baby made it to 7 weeks + 5 days. I’m in shock, devestated and angry. I have been to the hospital and they’ve explained it’s a missed miscarriage as I’ve had no bleeding. I’m going back Thursday to take the tablets and have the miscarriage at home. I’m absolutely petrified at the thought of it all passing and joe much pain I will be in. I’m also now petrified of falling pregnant and it happening again. I have so many emotions right now I just felt I should post on here. Has anyone had this that could reassure me in anyway? Or have success stories of successful pregnancy after miscarriage? I have no idea why the NHS make us ladies wait until 12 weeks for our first scan because if I hadn’t of paid to go private for this scan I would still think I was pregnant now. It’s so awfully sad.
Xxx
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Diamonddream
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First of all I'm really sorry for what you've gone through it's an awful traumatic situation ending your feeling right now is normal.
I'm cat
I had 3 miscarriages before conceiving my daughter then after having her we tried for another and was told we would have to go for ivf I declined and wanted to do it naturally after doing it the natural way I conceived twice but lost them really early one so early I wasn't aware until I seen my medical report and a urine sample test. Now I'm pregnant again at just 5.3 weeks I'm a nervous wreck.
Iv wrote to you to tell you I have been successfully pregnant and carried to term after 3 miscarriages. It's extremely hard as long as you have the right support and the energy to push the drs in the way you want to go do your research. .most importantly grieve and give you and hubby time to take this traumatic time in your stride and also be good to one another. There is others on here that have been through missed miscarriage and will be able to offer advice and support along this route.
Once again I'm so sorry I'm sending you a massive hug and lots of love
Thank you so much for your reply! It’s reassuring to hear success stories like yours that even after miscarriage you have still fallen pregnant again.
I have a whole lot of emotions at the moment, I go from a crying mess to angry to silent. I just don’t know what to do with myself. My husband has been fantastic however extremely emotional yesterday.
It just makes me feel such a failure!
I wish you all the very best for your pregnancy, it is such an anxious time but I wish you all the best. Thank you again for your response.
Your emotions are totally normal remember your going through the grieving process I'm glad your both supporting each other. It's hard and you will get through it don't put pressure on yourselves it will take time.
Your not a failure hun at all it's just the way of this hard journey. Nothing you've done or didnt do has caused this. One thing you can take as a positive is you managed to conceive naturally that's a positive in it self.
Yes I’m glad me and hubby are supporting each other although I would say he’s supporting me more, I’m a bit of a sulky miserable moo today!! I just hope we get through this!
This is the thing, I did everything by the book, I’ve bately lifted a finger, eaten a super healthy diet (with the odd biscuit Alice of cake) but nothing major! I’ve been soooo good,making sure I drink 3 litres of water a day I couldn’t have done anymore! It’s so frustrating.
One thing they did say at the scan was they would have expected to have seen more fluid around the baby too. I don’t know what I didn’t do to create enough fluid but I just keep asking myself all these questions!
100% your right, we did it naturally which is amazing so I’m totally praying we can do that again once we are in the right place!!
Keep me posted on how you go with your pregnancy!! it’s such a precious time!! Look after yourself and thank you again for your kind words.
At the first stages hun it will be the hubby supporting you don't worry hun your allowed to be Moody.
Please know it wouldn't have been anything you did to not create the right home for bubu it's just the way it was hun. Sometimes they just aren't viable something maybe wrong that weren't aware of sad as it is it's the truth, it doesn't make it easier though. Remember not to blame yourself it's nothing you've done.
💗🤗😘
Thanks hun I'll be posting updates if I get that far xx
I can totally understand how your feeling hun like I said there's a few on here that have gone through this quite recently what I will say is no two are the same. You might want to read through their posts just to give you an idea. I'll tag them so you can click on their names and go through their posts. I know what you mean about answers iv been searching for years and only just got to miscarriage clinic this Friday for first ever time. That's when I'll have my first scan. I'll tag the names now.
I’ve had two missed miscarriages in the last 6 months; one at our 8+3 scan (baby stopped growing at 6+3, I had a D and C) and the other at our 10 week scan (baby was measuring 7 and a half weeks, I had medical management last month). I’m so sorry for your loss xx
Tugsgirl I have no idea how you do it, I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through this next week. Having medical management Thursday and I’m petrified.
It’s so so sad, how do you ever pull yourself together? I don’t know how right now! Xxx
I am so sorry for your loss and totally understand your heartache, I to found out at a private scan that our little angel had no heart best. I had medical management last year so went for it again this year but unfortunately it didn’t work so have had a D&C today. Please message me if you need to talk or want any advice, take each day or each minute as it comes xx
Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss too! It’s so awful! I do hope your ok after your D&C today. My thoughts are with you! I hope we all get our happy ending.
Thank you, I hope we do to but for now you have to let yourself go through all these raw emotions. It definitely feels like the cruelest of worlds especially when we do everything we’re ‘meant to’ and this still happens. All your worries are totally understandable to, we’ll all be here to support you Thursday and if you have any questions about medical management just ask. Thinking of you xx
It’s natural to feel scared, I think the cruelest part of a MMC is there are no signs which is why I felt it made taking the tablets even harder but you will get through it and once you have you will be able to grieve for your precious baby xx
Hello, I'm so sorry to read this, how devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss. I sincerely hope you get pregnant again as soon as you are feeling ready to - and how wonderful you are able to have a chance at conceiving naturally. You must have been relaxed in Australia. I wish you all the luck in the world for future pregnancies xxx
Thanks so much for your reply, and your well wishes. I was actalually pregnant before we whent to Australia I just didn’t know! But yes I’m greatful that it’s shown we can conceive naturally.
I'm so sorry for your loss! There are a few ladies on here that have been through a similar thing. I have recently been through a missed miscarriage. It was our second fresh ivf cycle. And we too paid for a 10 week scan to be told there was no heartbeat.
I also want to hear those positive stories after a miscarriage. We will do a FET early next year, but I'm also worried about a future pregnancy!!!
I took medical management so the pills. The first set didn't work so 4 days later I went for another set of pills and then it happened that day. It was a more painful period but bareable. I was so set on getting through the medical that now it's time to grieve.
So sorry to hear this and yes agreed very cruel world. Thinking of you xxx
I'm so sorry for your loss, no words can help at this moment in time but I know it's a cliche but time does heal and you need to go through the grieving process. I got pregnant naturally twice and miscarried before IVF this year which also ended in a missed miscarriage. You're right in that 12 weeks is so long to wait for a scan and you did right having a private one. I didn't find out until nearly 14 wks (hospital couldn't get us appointment any sooner) that baby died at 9 wks 4 days. Had a scan at the fertility clinic at 9 wks, everything fine, heartbeat etc and discharged. So to find out I'd been blissfully unaware for a full month that baby had passed was hard to take. All I can say is you're stronger than you realise and you'll get through it. I really don't think it'll put you off getting pregnant in future (I had a bad time miscarrying in hospital but I'm really hoping I can conceive naturally). Best wishes to you, let your emotions do what you feel. If you want to scream and cry, do it. Fingers crossed for your happy ending. You'll get there xx
Thank you for your kind words. That must have been horrible for you not knowing for that whole month. I really think they should scan at 6,8,10 and 12 weeks. No scan until 12 weeks is too long. I’m glad I paid for a private scan a scan I would still be counting the days as pregnant still!
I really hope that I’m time we will heal and conceive again soon. It’s so worrying that miscarriage is so common.
I wish you all the very best for the future and thank you again for your kind words xxx
I’m so sorry, words cannot heal the pain but time can. I don’t have a successful story to share with you as I’m starting my 2nd round of IVF next year after my missed miscarriage but my prays are with you xx
Thank you, everyone is saying time helps to heal, I’m sure it will it’s just so raw right now! Good luck for your ivf next year and thank you for taking the time to reply to me. Xxx
I know its all so bloody cruel one minute you are pregnant and the next you aren't and without any kind of idea anything's wrong.
missed miscarriage is the cruellest one of all because you have no idea anything's wrong as at least with an ordinary one you get some kind of warning its going to happen but its never nice but its especially cruel to have no idea anything's wrong go to a scan hopeful only to have the blow that the baby's died and you had no idea.
I totally agree! None of it is nice however but still feeling pregnant and having no bleeding is so cruel. I really don’t know how this will affect me as a person but I’m desperate not to let this whole journey distroy me
I just don’t know why I am on tears reading this , my heart just breaks and I can’t imagine. It’s really so cruel why we get something precious and we loose all of sudden with no reason ..Am terribly sorry for you and I just want to hug you and cry with you .. if you believe in god , just keep your trouble on his shoulder and rest for a while . Sure something will happen soon and I wish you some peace right now ..
I did everything by the book, we’ve been trying for so long and it’s been the best thing ever to finally conceive and naturally especially after ivf fails in March. It’s so cruel and will never understand it.
Thank you for your reply and kind words. I wish you all the best for the future xx
So sorry to hear this. So very sad. Often women do go in to have successful pregnancies after miscarriages so please don’t lose hope that you will be able to try again when you are ready xx
I am so sorry for your loss and the physical, emotional and psychological pain you are going through. This is such a cruel cruel journey. Give yourself time and try to remember that your body can and has fallen pregnant and will do again in time xxx
You need to keep the hope as it can happen - we got pregnant naturally after 3 years of trying 2 years ago whilst waiting for IVF to start - all was fine and we were a few days away from the 12 week scan when I miscarried - it was so awful that I thought at the time I would never put myself through it again but 2 years later I am now 34.5 weeks pregnant from IVF - still nervous as hell but it can happen which I really didn't believe.
You're raw at the moment and that is totally understandable but you will not have done anything wrong so do not blame yourself - sadly so many pregnancies just don't seem to work out which when they are so wanted just seems the cruellest thing in the world.
Hiya hun. I am so sorry to read your post and actually the little hairs on my arms stood on end and I so remember how I felt when the exact same thing happened to us. We also had a good 6 week scan and things just did not feel right and I pushed to see the EPU. Like you I would have had to have waited until 12 weeks.
We also got that horrid I am sorry but there is no heartbeat.
What you are feeling is totally normal. Maybe before going to the hospital write down all your questions and concerns and you can discuss them with them.
There are various options you can take and they should explain those to you.
I decided to go down the surgery route so I can not comment on passing naturally. The hospital should advise on pain medication however.
As for feelings afterwards and trying again. I went straight back for a FET as my consultant advised if I could cope to go for it. I was not really in the right place and was very negative about it all.
I have just had a second FET and another failure. I am getting cross with myself as to why I can not get pregnant again when we did once. Again I think all these feelings are totally normal and we are just so hard on ourselves.
The concerns, fear and negativity are part of our coping system and protection mechanism.
So take one step at a time. One day at a time and when you are ready go for it.
We are all very brave ladies going on this rollercoaster journey and we are also very strong.
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