FSH to high for IVF @ 32

[Alana84]

Hi all,

Found out yesterday my FSH is 21. My partner and I were given a referral for IVF in 2015 but two days later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I tried a quick round of IVF before chemo but my eggs matured at different rates and none were viable. After chemo we were referred for IVF again in 2017 but my partner had a stroke (Not through poor health, caused by a tear in the artery) so we waited and yesterday I went to see the doc to ask for some tests and a new referral to a different clinic. I said time was running out as I missed my last period and had hot flushes she looked at my previous test and said the value was indeterminate. I asked her to elaborate and she said 21 was a border line FSH. I asked what it should be at 32 and she avoided the question, I asked again and she said up to 13. Then the penny dropped and I realised we wouldn't be able to do IVF, I asked if that was the case she said it would be unlikely. She said I should test again saying it might be lower and my partner thought we had a hope, I said but with hot flushes and a missed period, it's not going to be lower, is it? She said she couldn't fault my logic.

It's been a long road and I'm very tired. I wanted so much to hold my own baby in my arms but I am really struggling with the idea of donor eggs.

I'll retest but I think it's time we looked at adoption, we didn't think we would but it feels right all of a sudden.

People keep saying not to give up hope but my fiance is 42 and he doesn't want to be an old dad and it looks like we'd trade 10 years of our life for something that may not happen for us. Surely there's a point at which you (me, not you) need to decide it's over, mourn the loss and find a way to move on? Xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Yes there is a point where you have to decide it's over and there are ladies on here who have been able to move on positively to adoption. We are almost at that point and I feel better than I have in the last couple of years of going through ivf. I feel like the adoption process will be more positive.

If you're not quite ready, you could go to a private ivf clinic and have an Amh test and an ultrasound to count your follicles, any good clinic should then be able to give you a realistic idea of your chances. But bear in mind that it's their job to sell ivf when they talk to you.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

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Hi Alana, wow firstly I'm humbled by what you've been through so far. Your bravery and fight to survive is inspiring.

Secondly I know it feels devastating to think of stopping fertility treatment, it's the best thing I ever did. I feel like a weight had been lifted! For context, I had a miscarriage and two failed IVFs, but it was just becoming to much. No one was really suggesting anymore proper testing and without that it felt like profit before people.

I've just started the adoption process and feel positive. I'm not giving up on my goal to have a family, the road I need to go down to get there has just changed that's all. Good luck and be kind to yourself, this doesn't have to define you.

Natalie x