Making plans but why do I feel guilty?! - Fertility Network UK

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Making plans but why do I feel guilty?!


It's now been 2 weeks since our 3rd ivf failed.Obviously we were devastated and been upset on and off a lot in those 2 weeks we have booked a holiday in September and I've arranged my 40th for next year so why do I feel guilty? I should be planning baby things etc, we have done these things to try and move on slightly things still hurt if people ask me how I am I burst into tears, my DH has been brilliant he copes better than me although he's still hurting.

I'm also Back at work which has done me good

5 Replies

Hi Amberlily78 , I think it is just natural you are feeling that. You are a human being after all and you have been through a lot. Don't be so hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with crying. Embrace your feelings and allow yourself to feel those negative emotions for a while. But then after that do something to indulge yourself and feel better.

That works for me. Sometimes I feel really depressed and I just lay on my bed and cry all day till I fall asleep. Then the next day I wake up feeling so tired but calm and I try to do something I love.. like going for cupcakes to my favorite shop or having a relaxing massage.

Life goes on and we just need to keep on trying... x

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for xxx You are doing everything you can to start a family, but you also need to concentrate on making happy memories for yourselves to hold onto and keep you going when you feel down. You have every right to do things to keep yourselves happy and occupied so you enjoy yourselves xxxx


I know how you feel!! I've got a holiday in August which will delay my next treatment as it's to a high risk zika country.

I really want to look forward to it as I know it will do me good but can't help feel guilty about the delay it will cause and that I'm not concentrating all my efforts on the ivf.

Why do we make ourselves suffer so? Everyone else seems to be able to do as they like and it works out them!! It's not fair.

I hope when I'm there I can forget the fertility stuff for a while and enjoy the time I'm away. I hope you can look forward to and enjoy your holiday! X


I know what you mean hellsbells36 it' sucks doesn't it I'm sure you will enjoy your time away it's just the fact I should be planning for a baby etc hoping this makes me feel better do a little bit still feeling slightly guilty time will heal x


Hi Amberlily78. My dear girl, we all react differently to our trials in life. You're doing what is right for you, nobody else. Enjoy your holiday and look forward to your 40th, no need to feel guilty. You will scream and cry for a while, so just be careful who you spend time with while you are still fragile. Thinking of you. Diane

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