Who's with me? After 18 months... - Fertility Network UK

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Who's with me? After 18 months...

Georgina78 profile image
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Who's with me? After 18 months and four cycles of IVF I'm feeling bloated, blugh and everything is tight or hardly fits at all 🙈As if IVF isn't hard enough! Then on the day I start trying to shift the pounds treatment has made me put on, it's so bloody hot all I want is a huge bowl of ice cream 😩

Those meds have a lot to answer for! 😡

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Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78
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43 Replies
Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79

First cycle, still trying to lose some weight for EC and transfer day, but can't seem to lose anything and feel like I'm putting on weight without doing anything!! Drinking little or no alcohol these days, what's going on?! Is it the meds? Just made a vat of slimming world soup so gonna stick to that for a few days & see what happens. If you're craving ice cream I can only suggest a solero, quite low in calories & fat (but let's be honest nothing beats a big chocolatey magnum!!). Take care, I feel your pain ;) xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to Lilli79

God it sucks doesn't it, especially if you haven't got a cold glass of something alcoholic to enjoy. I think the meds have a lot to answer for 😕 Sorry to hear it's the same for you xx

NDE1987 profile image
NDE1987

I'm with you on this one georgina!! It's mega horriable being all bloated, my stomach is finally getting back to normal but still has a little way to go. In the morning it's ok but by the evening I feel like a balloon x

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to NDE1987

Same here, god I took my flat stomach for granted! 😩

How you doing? Xx

Jaky76 profile image
Jaky76

Totally with you... I had 5 rounds of ivf and each round I put on and do hard to shake off.. Slimming world leader reckoned my metabolism had completely changed due to it... Round 5 and I fall pregnant and so heavier when I fell than I wanted to be... Now 18 weeks pregnant.. And happier... But alot fatter.. It is a bloody battle... I would say have the ice-cream and start. When the heat drops... Best of luck 🍀 xxx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to Jaky76

It sucks doesn't it, I think it if ever happens for me I definitely won't be all bump now! Congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm sure you're thrilled but you also want to feel nice about yourself don't you, it is all a battle 😕 Xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo

They do. Sod it - buy a load of cheapie clothes from Tesco or Primark or similar in the next size up and get stuck into the ice cream.

Be kind to yourself - you deserve it! Xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

Haha! Love that advice 😃 How are you feeling this week Hun? Xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

I'm OK thanks - up and down; you know. We're moving to Germany in July, so I'm looking forward to a fresh start in a new place.

How are you feeling today? Xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

I definitely know the up & down thing unfortunately. Hope your move will be really positive and a great fresh start. Is that with your husbands job?

I'm much the same, still totally unclear on what we should do next and still waiting for a follow up appointment (a frustrating aspect of my clinic) so a bit in limbo land. Better than I was though, thanks xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

Yes, that is with my husband's job. I'm hoping that a new start in a new place will help.

Have you been waiting for a follow-up appt for long? That doesn't help, does it?

Have you got anything nice to look forward to this summer? Xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

Oh I hope so too, I know it's next door but my sister lived in Holland and has a wonderful way of life.

It'll be 4 weeks on Friday, my clinic are spot on with treatment but can be pretty crappy when it comes to the admin side. I spoke to them last week and I'm there later this week having counselling so I'll be chasing it up again. You just feel totally forgot about 😕

I have a few weekends away & gigs booked so looking forward to those, no big holiday but we're hoping to sell up and move to a different area so putting money aside for that.

Will you consider continuing treatment in Germany? Xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

I'm looking forward to it, mostly.

4 weeks is too long! How is counselling going, if I may ask? I've got an appt for counselling on Thursday, and I'm hoping desperately that it will help.

Whereabouts are you thinking of moving to? Will you be able to carry on with treatment there, if that's what you decide to do?

I think we could try again in Germany, but I don't think we will. It's too devastating, and I'm not sure I can do it again. My husband's going to be busy and away a LOT, and I need him with me to go through ICSI again.

It's a lot to think about, isn't it? Xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

I know it's ridiculous isn't it, I just feel totally forgotten about now treatment is over. I think there's been another oversight(it's happened before) but I'll never know because they won't admit that 😕 It's one of the few downsides of my clinic unfortunately.

We're in greater Manchester and just moving to a different borough within it, it won't affect anything because we've used all our NHS funding. That's why we're so undecided about what to do next, we've been so lucky to have the funding we have but we can realistically only afford to pay for one more and if it doesn't work again (it'll be our 5th) we'll be devastated and out of pocket. It's so hard isn't it, really struggling with that at the moment.

Are you considering adoptionor is that a no-go for you?

Xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

The thing with paying for it is that you have to be prepated to gamble 6 or 7 grand on quite low odds. It's like in the poem 'If'

'If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those imposters just the same'

It's incredibly hard, it really is. And 4 cycles must have taken their toll on you and your husband, and making another difficult decision is the last thing you need!

I think adoption is a no-go for us. My husband has a lot of reservations, and I'm just not sure it's for us. How about you? Would you consider it? Xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

Exactly, if we're spendingall that money we'd only be reassured by something being different and we've tried a lot of it already so I'm not sure what more can be done. I feel like it could be naive of us to expect a different outcome.

It has took it toll, mainly emotionally (and making me fatter!) the only good thing to come from it is that it's made us stronger and we're more of a team than ever before.

We're considering the NK cell testing but I'm wary of something getting my hopes up like it has before and that's only really worth doing if we go for another IVF cycle..so hard!

We haven't ruled out adoptionbut I used to work in child protection so have seen the good and the bad. I just hope time will make things clearer because it hasn't got any more so since the end of our last cycle 😕

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

Ugh - why the weight-gain? As if the whole thing isn't bad enough, none of my clothes fit comfortably now.

It's so much money isn't it? There are so many things you could do with that money. But worth it if it works, a million times!

What is NK cell testing? What are they checking for? If you are thinking about going ahead with another cycle, anything that can help is worth considering, isn't it?

I know what you mean about the bad and the good; I'm a teacher, and LACs are often so badly hurt and find life so difficult.

Hopefully things will start to take shape with time, and with counselling. H xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

I know it feels so cruel, your confidence is already low when you're facing infertility, I wish the drugs made you lose weight!!

It's sooo much money, it would be so so worth it but if not I can't help thinking it would be so useful for our move. It's just a gamble isn't it 😩

NK (or natural killer) cells are something we all have apparently and they ward off nasty infections & even cancer apparently but women who have them too high (which is more common in those of us with endometriosis) can have them 'attacking' an embryo as they see it as a threat so implantation doesn't happen or doesn't last once it does. If we go for another cycle we'll definitely have that test first..just need to decide now

😳

I've seen the good & the bad with adoption, it's another gamble I guess. It must be tough being a teacher when you're facing all this, hats off to you. Really hope it goes well tomorrow 🙏🏻 xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

Ps I have found counselling helpful, particularly when I feel fed up of talking about it to loved ones, or don't feel able to be 100% honest with them. I am a talker so I tend to let things out but it's been helpful to do that with someone who won't unintentionally say the wrong thing or who simply can't understand no matter how much they love you xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

That's why I thought it might help. There's no judgement - or anecdotal advice - with counselling is there? And it does help to talk 🙂

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to helsroo

No absolutely not, I hope you gel with your counsellor, I did with mind and it really helps. It's really helped me to know that the things I feel are normal and yes just to get it all out. Hope it goes well xx

helsroo profile image
helsroo in reply to Georgina78

Thanks love, fingers crossed! My first appt is tomorrow at 10.00. H x

pm27 profile image
pm27

I put on weight after ceasing treatment due to comfort eating. I've lost nearly a stone over the last year but this hot weather has made me feel like eating and drinking more. Whilst this isn't great I'm going to not beat myself up about it. I always feel bloated when it is hot.

You could try mini milk type ice creams, they're not too bad calorie wise as long as you only have one!

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to pm27

That's what I've been doing a bit of too pm so I need to take responsibility for that but the whole thing is so hard we need some comfort somewhere. I wish I were one of those people for whom the heat suppresses their appetite but I'm the same, I just want nice food & rose wine! Hope you're ok xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

Totally with you on this one! I'm seeing my consultant tomorrow to discuss starting my 4th cycle - I lost 4 stone before starting IVF and no matter what I try I can't seem to shake anymore no matter how much he tells me 'keep trying to lose weight' 😤 x

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to E_05

Wow 4 stone that's amazing, a kick in the teeth to keep hearing that from your consultant though 😕Hope your appointment goes well xx

Oakey80 profile image
Oakey80

Gosh I've put on 2 stone now since starting treatment in January!...literally put on all the weight I lost last year. I been proper healthy eating the last few weeks and haven't even lost 1lb...if anything I've put on more! I feel absolutely disgusting like a beached whale. Most of it is round my middle...I reckon it's middle aged spread from the buserelin grr! I'm all set for an fet transfer on Thursday. ..but if this doesn't work ill definitely have to lose weight as I'm well and truly over the magical bmi limit! I feel for ya xxx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to Oakey80

Oh you poor thing, that's so bloody tough. My tummy is the same, I used to have such a flat one 😭Hope your fet is successful 🙏🏻 Xx

Oakey80 profile image
Oakey80 in reply to Georgina78

I look pregnant already and am already getting some strange looks at work!...I hope it's successful just so I have a reason for looking like this blimp 🙈

_MrsC profile image
_MrsC

The drugs definitely affected my metabolism. After this cycle, I'm planning on having a paleo diet to reset my system. It makes me feel much better although the weight can take an age to shift. Give yourself s break and have some nice treats and then maybe for a eating plan once it's cooled down. xxx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to _MrsC

Evil drugs! Sorry to hear you've had the same, it's like a cruel joke 😕Xx

We put ourselves through so much you definitely need to give your self a break and be kind to yourself. A healthy alternative is frozen banana, maple syrup & some nut butter (macadamia is lovely) - whiz it all up and enjoy! Definitely ice cream weather xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to Edinburghdreaming

That sounds lovely, thanks for the tip! We do deserve a break but l just feel so uncomfortable in myself and that knocks your confidence when you need it boosting the most 😕It's a vicious circle isn't it x

Loopielu profile image
Loopielu

I'm feeling fat and puffy and bloated and so damn HOT 😩. Trying to lose what I gained last cycle before we start the next one but in this heat it's so hard! Try some iced yogurt or low fat ice cream so you can have the treat!! x

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to Loopielu

It's sooo hard, it's not fair is it! Xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I'm huge compared to what I used to be pretreatment 😞 It's so hard xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to Tugsgirl

It's horrible isn't it Tugsgirl, I used to be a size 8 now I'm a 12, finishing treatment without the result you were hoping for also makes you just want to eat all the unhealthy things you stayed away from during treatment and drink alcohol..I do have to take some responsibility but treatment is so hard I figured we deserved some treats. It's mainly everything else though 😩 Xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Georgina78

I used to be a 10/12 before treatment but now I'm a 14 and I've never been this big in my life. Ever 😕 xx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78

Oh ladies I can't believe so many of us have to put up with weight gain as well as everything else that goes hand in hand with infertility and treatment, it's really not fair is it 😔 We already feel low in confidence when our bodies are letting us down, it'd be a little help to at least feel good about ourselves, especially in the heat when we're wearing less! I hope we all end up back to our normal selves when we're running around after little ones 😘 Xxx

emu2016 profile image
emu2016

I hear you x

btsd profile image
btsd

It is so hard to not ruin your regime, especially when you are the one who can't just get pregnant and has to go through lots and lots of negative rounds. let me tell you, sometimes I feel like food is my only counselor and I know that this is stupid and only occurs evenings when I am very hungry but I cannot eat more than I have already eaten and I am staying in this depressed state of mind which adds to my overall devastation.

sorry for this rant :(

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78 in reply to btsd

Rant away hun! I get it, you want to feel better about yourself but trying to lose the weight treatment has made you put on does not make for an enjoyable life then you just feel more down than you do anyway..it's a vicious circle 😕 Xx

btsd profile image
btsd in reply to Georgina78

True, it is like you cannot even escape it, you are put in front of your issues every freaking day and even when you want to relax, you cannot feel anything but guilt. I am upset and enraged at the same time...

:(

xxx

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