Emotionally drained.. : So I posted a... - Fertility Network UK

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Emotionally drained..

E_05 profile image
E_05
28 Replies

So I posted a while ago about losing my job, turns out there's nothing I can do as I had a zero hour contract, the pregnancy announcements from my friends keep on coming and my sister in law continues to tell me how hard these last few weeks of pregnancy are (if only she knew how hard it was not being able to get pregnant)

I'm trying so hard to lose more weight, although I know my weight is fine I get obsessed as they always seem to go on about weight and falling pregnant. Even though I know over weight women fall pregnant naturally!

I feel like I started this journey pretty young and I've spent so many years not doing things just 'incase'. There isn't an option of giving up as like us all I want a healthy baby more than anything I just feeling like everything is such hard work at the moment!

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E_05 profile image
E_05
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28 Replies
Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

Hey E_05,

Really sorry to hear about your job. That's not what you need on top of everything else ☹️

I know where your coming from with the pregnancy announcements. I had a spell of them too and it never gets any easier does it? Of course your happy for them, but you just want to know why isn't it me?

I take it your sister in law isn't aware of your situation?

Regarding diet, like you say people who are overweight can and do get pregnancy! I think the best thing to stick to is to eat sensibly and everything in moderation.

It's such a tough journey, I know. Sending a big hug your way xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Thank you for your lovely reply, no they sure don't and your exactly right it's always that feeling of just being sad for myself cause that's what I want so much to be able to announce it's finally us that's pregnant.

Yeah my sister in law knows, I use to think she didn't fully understand but now I think it's just she doesn't care about anyone but herself. It's been an ongoing thing of insensitive comments since she had my nephew 4 years ago but now I'm finding it harder to not bite back Xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

It's so awful that she is aware and yet still wants to say insensitive things 😟 I can never understand people like that! A colleague in work who I'm quite friendly with asked me how my friend was getting on (my friend is pregnant) I said to be honest she doesn't mention it much. She said oh that's very weird? Why wouldn't she mention it? I thought are you kidding me?! I said well actually I find it hard to discuss pregnancy and prefer that we don't speak about it much as she's lots of other people she can discuss with. My colleague didn't answer. I thought what planet are some people on?

Some people 🤛 Lol!!

So what's the next step for you? Do you have treatment coming up? Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Yeah I know, I wrote a post a while ago as when she was announcing her pregnancy she told me she knew how much I'd struggled now cause it took her 5 months to conceive which broke her! 😤 it's lovely that your friend is so understanding. I totally get what you mean about your colleague - some people don't even try to understand how difficult it is.

I'm seeing my consultant next week to discuss hopefully starting my 4th cycle (3rd fet) in July/August. How about you? Xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

Your right they don't try. My friend has been great actually. I do ask about her pregnancy now and then but I appreciate that she doesn't feel the need to mention things to be that I might find insensitive.

5 months? Hardly a lot of time is it. How cheeky to even compare!!

I'm starting my 3rd cycle (2nd fet) in August with transfer being in the September 🍀 🌈

Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Exactly, wish 5 months is all I had to moan about! lol

How did you find your frozen cycle last time? We might going through our cycles at similar times then 🙂 xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

I found it not too bad actually. Much easier on the body that the fresh cycle anyway. How about you? Yeah it looks as if we'll go through treatment very close to each other 🙂 Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

I found the down regging quite draining still but definitely an easier process and as it's quicker not to bad either. It'll be nice to be on this forum during a cycle I think it'll definitely help with worries and feelings xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

With my frozen cycle it was just progynova tablets and pessaries. I've seen others down reggin with their FET but it's not something I need to do with my clinic. It's so strange how they all work differently.

Yeah this forum is great during treatment. It's nice to have the support and the girls help to keep you sane 🙂😂 xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Oh really, so did you have to take anything in replace of not doing the injections? Definitely it amazes me how much it differs from clinic to clinic. Are you NHS funded or privately?

So true, I've already found so much support from being on here xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

Just that injection which shuts off your ovaries I think. Can't remember the name of it. Then 3 progynova tablets a day and then start pessaries 7 days before transfer.

That's probably why I found the FET much easier then 🙂

We are NHS, how about you? Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Oh right that's interesting..I took 1 progynova for 5 days then 2 for 4 days then carried on at 3 but same for pessaries. Yeah I'm NHS funded to xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

Very strange how they all work so differently. Do you have a few more frozen embryos? Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Sure is. I've got 1 left, I've had 2 transferred for my last 2 cycles. I know Im very lucky for how many I had to freeze I remember thinking after falling pregnant from my fresh cycle wow a chance of a sibling to but now I'm just desperate for this one to stay put. How about yourself? Xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

I remember thinking the same! I have 3 more frozen. We've only ever had single transfers. So this shot we'll transfer 1 and if it's not successful then I'm going to ask if the final 2 can be transferred together on our next go. Although, hoping we don't need to have another go.

I always thought after a successful IVF I'd always want to privately have another shot to try and get a sibling for a baby. Now all I want is a healthy baby and then never to think about IVF again.

Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

I wish last cycle I'd only had 1 transferred and 1 was hatching I don't know if that would of made a difference and I guess we always will think 'what it' but the embryologist said to do both so I have to believe that kno what's best. That's exactly the same as me, how many cycles do you get on the NHS? Xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

We get 2 shots which include all frozen. How about you?

Yeah very true we have to trust that they know what's best.

Have you tried any acupuncture or reflexology? Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

We get 6 cycles - max of 3 fresh so if there's embryos that are frozen they have to be used before the next fresh cycle. Yeah I did Acupunture for my first cycle and then found a different lady for my 3rd who I really get on with so will be starting again soon. How about you? Xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

That's a good amount of cycles at least 🙂 I think it's awful how some people are only entitled to one shot which doesn't include any frozen! Where are you based? I did acupuncture for my frozen cycle in Arpil which I enjoyed but did find it costly and not sure I enjoyed it enough for the cost? This time I've arranged to try reflexology. It's the same price as I was paying for acupuncture but sessions last an hour rather than 30 minutes. Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

Me to especially as it seems to come down to postcode lottery and age. In Cambridge you? That's true it can be costly, the 2nd lady I found actually specialises in Acupunture for in fertility and is cheaper than the 1st which puzzled me lol but she's a lot better. I'd be interested to know what you think of it compared to Acupunture when you start it if you don't mind. Have you had the endo scratch at all? Xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

I'm in Edinburgh 🙂 Yeah I'll let you know how it is. I've heard it's very relaxing anyway if nothing else lol.

That is crazy but definitely a bonus that she's cheaper and specialises in fertility!

I haven't had the Endo scratch. Have you? Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

That's good, think that's one thing we can also do with - relaxing! Lol

Yeah I had it for both frozen cycles, if they were unsuccessful I didn't want to look back and think 'what if' but now as they clearly didn't help I'm torn as to whether to do it again next cycle xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

Yeah that's very true. It's a tough decision. Is it quite costly? Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

At my clinic it's £230 which il be honest is another reason I'm really thinking about how beneficial it is xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

Yeah that's expensive especially if it's maybe not making any difference? It's tough as I know like you say it's all the what ifs. Hopefully at your next appointment it's something you can discuss and that might help you to make your decision 🙂 Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Amanda86

I know they say it's meant to help with implantation but obviously not the case for me although I know for some women it does. Yeah I'm definitely going to. Thank you for a lovely chat about everything xx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

Lovely chatting to you too 🙂 Keep in touch and let me know how your getting on! Xxx

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86 in reply to E_05

My clinic do a one off injection on cycle day 21 for FET and then it's progynova and pessaries after that xxx

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