God bless little angel

[Pookymama]

It's been a tearful and emotional day so far knowing that our precious little Pooky would have been due today.

I'd promised myself I'd hold it together in work but I've had a few wee outbursts. First in the car when 'You'll Never Walk Alone' was ironically playing, second was seeing my client at work with her baby and I've since had a minor blub to my colleague who'd clocked something was wrong.

I bought a little memorial card to mark today and dh and I will write on it and light a candle to for our darling little Pooky, wherever he is, may he be happy, safe, free of earthly ailments and able to feel the boundless love we have for our beautiful little fellow who was never born of this earth.

Love and prayers to all those going through this cruel fertility maze and luck for that elusive stork to be circling our neighbourhoods with our long awaited joys very soon. Xxxxxx

[Tugsgirl]

Hugs to you too xx

[Pookymama in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you Tugs. How're you doing? Xx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Pookymama]

I've been better! We're away from home for a week though so I'm not dwelling quite as much xx

[Rainbow_86]

Oh my goodness.... my heart breaks for you I'm so sorry. I hope things can get easier now the pain of expected due date has passed, but I imagine it will always be part of you. Sending you hugs and strength to get through this..this is just the cruellest thing that can happen. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Xxx

[Pookymama in reply to Rainbow_86]

Aw, thank you for your touching and heartfelt message Rainbow.

I'm doing a bit better now the day is over and am glad we honoured it, even in a small way.

How are you doing in your journey hun? I hope things are heading in the right direction for you. Xx

[CountryCat]

Thinking of you xxx

[Pookymama in reply to CountryCat]

Thank you Country Cat. How are things with you? Xx

[CountryCat in reply to Pookymama]

Doing okay thanks,endometrial scan on Monday, donor egg collection 24th May, transfer 29th May...eeekkkkk! Am trying to stay positive and not become too overwhelmed by the process. Am frightened and excited by turns.

I am sorry that today has been so hard for you. The loss of all those hopes and dreams for your little life must be very hard to bear. Candles are inspirational ways to remember loved ones...I light a candle on the anniversary of my mother's death every year. Gone but never ever forgotten xxx Sending hugs!

[Amanda86]

Today must have been such a difficult day for you 😥 thinking of you xxx 😘

[Pookymama in reply to Amanda86]

It was a tough day but I maintain the hopeful belief that all lost little ones live on somewhere better until we meet again. Hope your journey is going well xx

[pm27]

I find the lead up to what should have our due date worse than the actual day. It has got a little less raw 3 years on but I'm very aware of it and try to be kind to myself.

It's OK to have wobbles, you're human. Cry, scream, rant etc if it helps.

[Pookymama in reply to pm27]

Aw hun, I'm sorry for your loss. I don't suppose the sadness ever goes away and it's important to mark that day because whether our child is with us or not we are still their mother's and their spirit lives on in our hearts.

I think your right about being kind to ourselves on these days and it is important to acknowledge and vent our emotions.

After the miscarriage I went on autopilot and it messed me up a bit. I'm dealing with it now though which is the important thing.

Where are you on your journey hun? I hope things are going in the direction of your dreams xx

[Hidden]

Im really sorry for your loss.hugs to you.

[Pookymama in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Lawmom. I hope things are progressing well for you xx

[Hidden]

Feeling the same. My first due date is Monday. I'm using a holiday for it. I had my work colleague shoving her bump in my face today telling me about her 20 weeks scan and how he was moving about alllll day today.

Felt like crying on the spot. All I wanted was some tact.

We can get through it. Hugs to you.

[Pookymama in reply to Hidden]

Oh Curlysue, I'm so very sorry for your loss and the cruel place you find yourself.

It must have been awful to have your colleague being so insensitive. It's funny but the people who have those attitudes are often to be seen humbled by their own life experiences a little way up the line and that missing tact hopefully develops. Shame it wasn't in your colleague for you when you needed it though hun!

Sending love and strength to you for Monday. Be gentle with yourself.

And you're right, we will get through this and our rainbows will come shining through but we'll always keep our precious angels in our hearts. Xx

[72cloud9]

Beautifully written.big hugs to you darling x

[Pookymama in reply to 72cloud9]

Thank you 72cloud. How're things with you? Xx

[72cloud9 in reply to Pookymama]

Ah thanks 4 asking.hopefully heading out to Greece in just under 2 weeks for our last own egg FET-not feeling too confident but u never know! Xxx

[Hidden]

Thinking of you xxx

[Pookymama in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Button. How're you? Xx

[Hidden in reply to Pookymama]

Good thanks just in the process of round 5 xx