Secondary infertility tears

First of all I know how incredibly lucky I am to have the miracle that I still my 4 year old DD. She came relatively easily so you can only imagine the shock when we found out we have secondary infertility. 2.5years of trying numerous fertility drugs cocktails and treatments and a failed IVF, I was starting to accept that I was ok to wait a little before trying again.

That is until the recent family pregnancy announcement, this will be her second pregnancy since I started trying for my second. I never get upset to this point but I had tears. She went on about how it wasn't not how she had planned etc but it worked out with work and maternity pay etc to have another.

My dh and I are desperately trying to come to terms with miscarriage and failed IVF and the emotional turmoil associated with infertility be it first time around or secondary it's still hard.

Guilty for feeling so upset. If there's a God, what have I done so bad? Why is it so hard. When do I give up.

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  • Hi huni it's hard to know what to say as secondary infertility is an awful thing. I'm currently in the same boat as you. I have a daughter who is 9 (previous relationship) been trying for 3 years. My OH count isn't great but apparently normal for NHS standards. We are not progressing with IVF private if we have no miracle this month. I know you must feel alone and like everyone else around you in pregnant I know I do!! Both sisters having their second currently. Just realise your not on your own and it's totally normal to feel upset and even angry! Everyone on here is in the same boat one way or another and I'm amazed at some of their stories really makes me humble and sometimes brings me back down to earth! You will get there in the end and just imagine how special that will feel when the fight was so long. If you need to talk feel free to msg me xx

  • And never give up xx

  • Sorry that was meant to say we are progressing with IVF x

  • Thank you and so kind of you to reply! I feel like my friends (although so sweet) just don't get it.

    It's heartbreaking every month. I felt like "oh come on seriously" when she told me she was expecting again. Which I know is rubbish of me. But she knows how hard it has been for me and it is a bit like salt in the wounds.

    What are you doing now? Medicated or natural? My dh last count was low and completely unexpected. We are trying letrozole one more go and then IVF again. This time will be with icsi. Just so scary. As i think that may have to be the last one. Can't keep finding thousands to throw away if it doesn't work.

  • Hi, in a similar situation - have been TTC for 4Β½ years for our second. We are just about to embark on our first IVF /ICSI.

    I'm so sorry for your miscarriage & failed attempt, it must be so heartbreaking πŸ’” Pregnancy announcements are always so hard no matter who they come from. Don't feel guilty about your emotions, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Just do what you need to do to protect yourself as much as possible.

    The financial side of things is so hard but try not to think about it at the moment - try to focus on your next cycle. Don't give up...

    Feel free to message​ me xxx

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