starting with a clean sheet

Hello again. it's been a long time coming, but I finally made up my mind. my cousine, who wanted to help us becoming a surrogate mother for our baby, was pregnant at the moment of her generous offer and she didn't know about it. so, only surrogacy now. these months were pretty tough for my family because we decided to change our lifestyle in order to be better parents in future. we almost prepared for the next step and thinking of a journey before we proceed with treatment. i've read a lot about parenting with bipolar and I will do my best to cope with a child. еhere is a chance to distract from my issues and to care more about a baby instead. to be honest I'm tired of thinking of bipolar is my verdict. I'm going to live new life and I need a bit of encouragement. x

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  • Hello! Sorry to hear your story! I think everyone can have a change to become happy and you are not exception. I think some kind woman will agree to become a surrogate mother for your baby. It also much depends on your family support. If you are bipolar it probably would be a little bit hard to coupe with a baby alone. What about your husband? Is he ready to help you with a baby?

  • thank you, it's so nice of you to support me! you see, i don't want any woman to becoma a surrogate mother for me. I don't really trust people and I know myself. I thought to apply for an agency which could help me to find a surrogate mother. I want this process to be under total control. I need guarantees of success and everything must be legal. yes, i can't spend every moment with my child, sometimes I need days off. My husband is brilliant and he ready to help me even if I don't need help.

  • I think I understand you! You are right it’s better to apply to some agency or clinic in order to make this process more safely and risk free. It’s very nice that your husband is ready helps and supports you at any moment. Where are you from? Is it possible to take part in surrogacy program in your country?

  • I'm going to find a place for this somewhere abroad. I live in Italy now and surrogacy is banned here. There are not many countries in EU where it's possible. We are thinking about Russia or Ukraine, maybe other countries.

  • You made a great decision, every woman deserves to be a mother. And you are not the excuse in this case. I know lots of women with your disease have children. The most important thing for being a mom with bipolar is to take all prescribed meds, without missing dosage-time. Hope your mental illness will force you to focus on the education of a baby and you become attentive to the time you'll spend with him or her.

    How's your husband? Is ready for this? Do you feel his support?

  • thank you! oh, really? they delivered babies naturally? what do they tell you about their lives after having children? i always take my meds in time, almost. I've read that one woman felt better when she became a mother. She became more attentive, confident, focused, and her state became stable. I hope i coul be a good mother.

    My sweet man is great! Sometimes I think he is ready for everything and he can bear all this s*** haha.

  • If I'm not mistaken, yes but there is a risk. First of all, you should be ready for the pregnancy and your family too. Pre-pregnancy planning is a necessary option. You have to pass a special consultation with your gynecologist who must constantly keep in touch with your doctor.

    Your husband should be ready to stay with you around first two months in order to help with a newborn. That's the only one side of the coin.

    The next issue is a risk of premature birth and congenital anomalies.

    I don't want to upset you but pregnancy in your case is a great challenge.

    Please, think twice before you'll do something.

  • I'm afraid I can't take my meds during pregnancy and another pills could be not that efficient. so we were told we need surrogacy. we are ready now, we spent too much time without children. I don't like doctors, but you are right I need to have a consultation to know what are the next steps for sure. We discussed it, he is definitely ready.

  • There are so many factors that can be a reason for our failure to have a healthy baby.

    I thought that we had a right to be moms, because it’s absolutely natural. And amazing.

    I’ve never thought that I would be meeting so many poor couples with infertility issues. It’s terrible. But if we have gotten such challenge we should battle for our right to be happy!

    I wish you be persistent on the way to break free!

  • you're right, sometimes it seems to me that every itty-bitty detail can be a reason for infertility. all of us deserve to be mothers and it's amazing that nature gave us such a chance. but unfortunately, we are here talking about fertility issues. it's so unfair. good luck to you

  • Good luck to you too! Wish you to find appropriate place for treatment. I know you will find it in case you don’t stop your search. Keep yourself in calmness and don't get flurried! All time you have to watch about your health.

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