Hope you are all doing ok. ive been seeing LOADS of bfp which is amazing news and i hope they keep coming!!!!
Ive just had my follow up appointment and well i thought i was picking myself back up from the negative to only be shoved straight back down!!
due to my partner having bad mobility she said that is never going to improve and because of that, it was the reason my embryos were not graded that great because his sperm weren't strong enough when dividing.
So i would love to hear some success stories from people whose partners are like mine with bad mobility and when i say bad i mean none were swimming just twitching....
because of this it has knocked my partner hard and he is now got the attitude of well if nothings going to change then thats it game over!!! where im trying to remain positive but he is making it very hard!!!!! his mum has been vile towards me and im now starting to think mother like son and how they are both so selfish!!!
The way i see it is i cant live with out a child and with my eggs amazing just makes me think why do i bother sometimes ....... its all so hard.
Sorry for the essay just needed a rant. and i just want to say thank you to all the support from you all.
xxx
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emma-jane-30
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Awwww hunny this is a knock for sure..your feelings and emotions will be all over the place. What is it with in laws? ??😡😡😡 I say give yourself both of you a wee bit of time..then you will hopefully be thinking more clearly..thereu stop be options for men too surely..sending you lots of love xxx
thank you for your reply hun, we have booked a holiday haha. i just cant think about this ivf and trying for a baby right now as it just breaks me and its just knowing what to do for the best!! i hope you are ok xxx
Holiday will be just the tonic. .where u off too? I already told my hubby regardless of result after this cycle is over we are off to travel agents😉take care xx
were off to lanzarote lol no where special but sun and booze lol just need to chilax and de stress. you take care too hun i have everything crossed for youxx
I'm in exactly the same situation as you (except the vile mother in law part 🙈) as my hubby's samples have had terrible motility, some even being 0% movement. Our first cycle I had 9 mature eggs collected but only 3 fertilised due to such a bad sample by DH.
It is really hard when you have to go through treatment even though you ovulate and do everything text book, however the way I look at it is that it could of quite easily have been me with the issue and I would of hoped he would of been supportive and stuck by me. It's just a pain that the women have to do all the hard work.
Have you spoken to him about counselling? I think it's quite tough on guys as they feel it is a dent in their masculinity. It is also good to talk it through without placing blame. This whole situation is so tough and it certainly pushes relationship boundaries, but it is so important to try and remain as a team.
See if he can help his samples with supplements and ask your clinic if there are any additional services they offer to help pull the best out of the sample. Worth trying to investigate ways of helping him before seeking other options.
thank you very much for your reply, we have had a chat tonight and we have booked a holiday for june so going to take some time out and look to maybe try july/august time but its just knowing what to do for the best, where do you stop! the think with us is i have pcos as well so there is issues on both sides which doesnt help, i just hope it doesnt break us.
A holiday is a great idea. We have gone away before both cycles just to clear our heads and have fun together. It's nice to just forget about all of your worries for a while and then come back and re-focus.
Having a break from treatment sounds like a good idea too and I truly hope you guys work through everything together.
I'm sure you will come out of this stronger than ever.
Hey there, Im not sure what the ins and outs of your case.....my husband has a low sperm count & motility so we had ICSI. In my first cycle my embryos stopped dividing/growing and we got told that his sperm had done their bit fertilising the eggs and it was down to poor egg quality that they didnt grow very well although they have no definitive test for this. Its all so confusing the information we get and its devastating to get told this kind of information. I felt like such a failure that my eggs were rubbish and that I possibly couldnt give us a child. It is a massive knock but hopefully given time your husband will come around. My mother in law thinks we should just give up and "have a nice life without children, having kids isnt everything" which made me rage....easy for people to say that have them! So I know what you mean about inlaws! Incidentally my 2nd cycle went a lot better although sadly didnt result in a pregnancy. I dont know if you get another cycle on the NHS but maybe it would go better 2nd time around?!xx
thank you for your reply Cinderella5 its so bloody easy for people to say stuff like that and it really winds me up but they have NO idea what its like and i just think they will never realise the pain/emotions we have to go through!!!
we only get one free go so we now have to pay, and we can only afford 1 round so i will be absolutely heart broken if that doesnt work so just have to keep everything crossed and keep being positive xxx
no, i dont mean to sound stupid but what is it? my eggs are perfect quality and i have pcos so i have plently of follicles its just the sperm that dont make the good embryos becasue they are not strong enough xx
It's meant to help with the quality of the eggs. I got told after my eggs not developing that it was egg quality not the sperm. Have a read back my previous posts. My eggs developed much better after taking it.x
Hi Emma, it sounds like you're having a rough time of it which is all you need after everything you've just been through. I think one thing to remember at the minute is that we all respond to bad news in different ways. Your partner will be struggling with the negative result and will be shouldering the responsibility of that because it's him that has the problem. Most men aren't great at communicating effectively when things are going wrong either. Could you take some time out together and then address the subject in a little while? Do you have a counselling service available through your clinic? That could also help, just bouncing things off an impartial person. It's great that you're trying to stay optimistic but make sure you are taking care of yourself. Your body has just been through so much and you need some time and some TLC. Sending love to you both, I hope you can move forward from this even stronger. I'm sure you will x x x
hello my lovely, i hope work isnt to bad for you and that you are resting up
we have decided to book a holiday lol. so i think we will look to try again in july/august time ish, but its not just him as they finally diagnosed me with pcos and they dont think im ovulating!! so they have put me on these tablets to help with that and see where we go from there. but i just feel that we have had our appointment and now we move on from that and it just feels like the end because its now up to us if we go bk to that clinc oh i dont know lol its horrible. x x x x
It is horrible my love and so unfair. Enjoy your holiday and some time away from all of this craziness. I really hope the tablets help with the PCOS. Take care of yourself and keep in touch x x x
Hey. Same issue here. Poor motility we had icsi and bfn. We are not giving up. We are going to try again somewhere else. But I know how you feel. This is exactly how i felt when I came out of my follow up appointment. Take some time to recover together first before making any big decisions. We have left a year between attempts. Xx
yeah we have now booked a holiday for june as we have not been away for 2 years because of the ivf so we are going to take a break, what was the grading of your embryos like if you dont mind me asking you? x x x
Good for you to take some time together and enjoy a break. I hope you have a great time. We had a 5 cell and 7 cell (just it was 6 when we arrived and just before they transferred it split to 7) so not the best. Xx
Have they transferred both Hun? I had a 4 and 7 cell transferred xxx
Hey Hun been thinking of you. Sorry to hear your news wasn't great but like others have said, perhaps you both need time to process all the information and think about where you want to go next. It might be worth researching some supplements so you both know you've done everything you can when you give it another go.
Take care and rant all you want. We all need to sometimes x
Hi Emma, just read this... sent you a personal message before. I'm sorry about the news! I can't believe they didn't have other solutions to offer.
Your husband is trying to digest it all and this news can be hard to bare. My hubby also has low sperm count, probably not as bad. He makes sure he takes a great multi vitamin (really good one from H&B).
Cycles can be different and It's definitely worth another try and making sure diet, vitamins and health all in check, must make a difference...
I hope it works out, for the moment I think emotions are high....
Hello we were almost 6years ttc with shambolic sperm analysis, under 3% motility first time and under 1% second. We got told our chances of concieving without donor sperm was around 2% and none of us wanted donor sperm. We were using wellman, diet control, all sorts. DH got clinical depression as he blamed himself and we took it out on eachother and our marriage suffered a lot because of it. So much so we admitted defeat and agreed to call it a day, as he went back to normal food and boozing on a weekend. Then out of nowhere after 58 months of BFN we FINALLY got BFP.
I always thought it was horse cr*p when people say you can try too hard, but I honesty think we were. The stresses of ttc is so intense, and regimental, and for years we didn't make love we just had well timed sex. Then for two weeks on tenderhooks then a week of grieving. Over and over again.
I think that stress contributed. There's no clinical explanation for his sperm sorting itself out. But I can understand your fellas attitude as my husband went through the same. Male pride is a complex matter. Felt like at one point he was rebelling against it all.
It's hard and men cope less well than us. Just make sure you try and create a balance. Loosen the reins every once in a while.
You never know there might be a BFP just around the corner ❤😘
thank you so much for your reply misswinky34 thank has made me feel a little better, the thing with me and my partner is we concieved naturally 2 years ago, so to be told that there is no chance was harsh, his first sample was 1% mobility and then went up to 2%.
did you actually have icsi then or no?
I totally get when you say that when you just relax and dont focus on it then it will happen, and we were on holiday in florida/miami for 3 weeks when we got caught last time it just ended in a chemical pregnancy.
its so hard on you as a couple and it defiantly tests you both. Im so glad you have got your BFP. x x x
Sorry to hear your news and your partner maybe feeling it's his fault and maybe talking to each other and saying how his mum is making you feel may help and then talking about what to do next?
he cant see that his mum is in the worng and he has told me its up to me to sort out with his mum !! i give up lol i could write a book on him and his family but i wouldnt want to bore you haha.
I will get there i just need to realise what path im going to take. thank you for your message tho xxx
My hubby had really low motility and managed to get it back in the normal range by taking supplements our consultant suggested for 3 months., I'll see if I can find the dosage and pm you. He took took the wellman ttc supplement for all the zinc and B vitamins etc, 500mg vitamin C and L-Carnitine but can't remember the dose of that. He was also told to do the usual stuff like not drink too much alcohol or caffeine, they checked that he didn't smoke and wasn't overweight etc.
Don't know if a positive outcome for another bloke would give ur OH hope?? We're 21 weeks pregnant and were previously told it would be a mitaacle to conceive with his poor motility. X
I've just shown him your response mhairielaine amd it has really helped!! This sight is brilliant for stuff like this, how many ivf/icsi goes did you have? If you could be ever so kind to pm me the stuff he took that would amazing and I would really appreciate it. You have brought a smile to my face. Congratulations on your little baba growing xxx
Oh my goodness, so sorry I haven't replied before now, I've not been well for days so totally missed this msg. I'll look for the piece of paper with the dosage today x
My husband's sperm had very low motility and it took us three operations on the poor man to have any sperm extracted at all that was alive (he had a failed vasectomy reversal so after several attempts to withdraw sperm with a needle a biopsy was the only way). I produced 25 eggs and only 5 of them fertilised normally (with ICSI) due to the poor quality of the sperm. But 4 made it to 5 day blastocysts and after a FET I'm now 18 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I know it's easy for me to say now as my miracle has happened, but for a long time I didn't think we would ever get to this point. My husband blamed himself but refused to entertain the idea of using donor sperm. He wouldn't even talk about it, and would leave the room when I tried to have a conversation about it. It was very hard for both of us for a while but we kept doing things together that we like doing (country walks, trip to Spain, cinema) and despite us processing each failed step differently we stayed best friends.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that it is possible and can and does happen. Best of luck xx
Thank you so much for your reply and congratulations to you I'm so happy for you that you finally have got your little miracle. I just hope I get my miracle xxx
Hi no we ran out of money for assisted fertility because ours was secondary infertility, we had two boys already naturally so we never expected any problems. That's what hit him so hard, hes the alpha male, and it was his job to make this baby, and he couldn't. Thing is, I didn't know this but I was hypothyroid, so we weren't ovulating, so technically we were both 'broken' but that didn't stop him harbouring the guilt.
If your latest sample went up to 2% that's a really good sign they told us,👍🏾 as it's not a permanent number that never fluctuates. Have they done any hormone tests on him?
The last SA he had done under fertility treatment was as low as yours and we still got a natural BFP🙏❤️
You can only try your best hun. When we agreed to stop ttc I knew my body so well I knew I had OV twinges and would just mechanically get jiggy and then be on the lookout for changes in CV, poking my boobs etc. when you've done something for that many months you have a heightened sense for it all and it's easier said than done to switch that off.
When we got our bfp we had just had a normal weekend, no watching what we ate, shared some wine, just tried to repair each other a bit. Wether it was a coincidence or just our time, that release of pressure and just having sex just because we wanted to felt great.
They wouldn't offer ICSI if it didn't work Hun. There's lots of women on here with success stories. 😉
Yeah unfortunately I've got pcos and I'm not ovulating so they have put me on so drugs to hopefully help me and re testing my hormone level next week to see if I am bk ovulating.
Yeah he has had all the tests done and they all came bk fine so not really sure what to say as the docs just can't explain it 😡 Lol
I'm just staying hopefully that we will carry on going until I get my miracle xxxx
Must be so hard for you I think us women yearn for a baby in a different way to men (maybe I'm wrong) and that's why we simply can't take no for an answer or give up trying. Hope you manage to get through this stage and try again/ something else. It's hard to be on the same page all the time but if you give each other time and space and then talk about what your next options are hopefully this will help. xxx
Hi Lovely, so sorry to hear this, thinking of you, lots of love xxxxx
Sending u all my love emma....hopefully it will happen in the future. U well deserve a holiday to rest and enjoy the life, after u been through so much....❤️😘😘😘
Have they given you any other options? Maybe have a break away together get away from everything and discuss things and also say How you feel about his Mum? Maybe that will help?
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so just have to keep everything crossed and keep being positive xxx
I give up 😭
I feel like i am going mad!!
I give up!!!!
I give up!!!
