hi babez! new chum: hiya! i know... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

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hi babez! new chum

electralovesmurphy profile image

hiya! i know nothing about infertility thingz and need ur help. Id like to know more about surrogacy thing. ive just finished rehab and i can't be a mother on my own, although i have a husband and im not old. so, tell me how to stuck on it? what do u do at first? what should i know to move on? thnxxxx

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electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy
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25 Replies
Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33

Hello, dear newbie.

You had a rehab after what? Perhaps it was miscarriage? I hope your body has recovered.

On my opinion the first thing we should do before making such step it’s getting a readiness and understanding our needs.

So you’ve done it right to post here. And what do you wait from surrogacy, dear?

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Blooo33

thnx 4 ur reply. if u dont mind i won't share any details,i'm not ready yet,need some time to take it. pregnancy is forbidden for me. but im not sure i'm 100% ready to start right now. i need 2 know what it's like at first. my xpectations are simple, only want to have a kid.

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to electralovesmurphy

My husband and I underwent through our psychological barrier rather quickly and easy, we had no real problems for making our decision to try a surro as the last affective method to have a baby. But many women experience great difficulties living through this moment. Don’t you?

Actually I also don’t feel old I am only 33.I can get pregnant, but I cannot give birth to a healthy baby. I suffered from diabetes since I was 15, and use insulin twice a day.

we both made the decision regarding surrogacy together. and have no regrets.

You have a desire it’s the most necessary thing to have. And you also have a husband this fact makes your try to go through the surrogacy available there where I had this. I’ll explain further why.

So where do you live for now?

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Blooo33

good 4 u! i have a mental disorder and it's getting in my way, u see. i'm overwhelmed wiz feelings i don't understand and can't explain to u. im sorry 4 ur disease, it's not cool hun. but u keep going, and it's awesome. want 2 b like u.

u mentioned i have a husband, it's important? where did u have it? good place u sure? i'm from australia, is it good?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to electralovesmurphy

We had our journey finished in Ukraine. I hope you know where it’s cause it’s rather far from U. it’s another side of the globe. And I can’t say good it or not. But I heard about one resident of your country here near reception. She has applied to clinic with endometriosis and arrived here for treatment.

It’s important to have a husband for going through surrogacy here. It’s requirement. Because after all your man will have to pass the DNA test to transfer your child home with you legal way.

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to electralovesmurphy

Choosing this path you accept the expectation perhaps as the only thing belongs to you during the time when the program is performed. Of course you will have your husband’s support and care, maybe some guarantees from the reproductive center, e-mail or phone contact with manager of the program, but the expectation is the feeling that will become your everyday experience.

I expected searching for the suitable clinic, I was expecting till we signed a contract, till we selected a donor, then till the doctor found a relevant surrogate, after that we were anxiously expecting embryo transfer, then we were to expect for scans every month… endlessly

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Blooo33

well ive heard something about it, not much. i can have a surrogacy here it's not a big deal. i just want to know everything before we start. i looked through info on the web but too much is written and i don't understand a lot. i need to know everything from real people. what difficulties may occure? what do i want to know now?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to electralovesmurphy

I think better for you to have necessary test results before your visit, I can miss something from the list but I know compulsory documents you need to have for entering the program. You are to have marriage certificate and medical conclusion proves you can’t carry out a baby, you husband must have test results of serology, semen analysis, karyotype… but in any case you have to talk with leading manager. Maybe there are some differences in requirements for Australians. It can hardly be so I think.

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Blooo33

oh thanx. I guess we can collect these papers. it's weird anyway, we don't have to be married to start surrogacy. do you know how to find a surrogate mother? it's legal to advertise for someone to act as a surrogate? or she must be a relative or a friend? and money, it's legal to pay her for carrying a baby for me?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to electralovesmurphy

Look at this, dear.

Here we have a legislation that allows commercial kind of surrogacy. You don’t need to come here with your female relatives for to try. Because in all cases surrogate will not have genetically relation with your baby, she just carries him or her or both.

Due to legal permissions to perform and promote surrogacy and other reproductive techniques with de local clinics have made quality complex service. you don’t have to worry about surrogate selection because it doesn’t matter moreover the doctors do this for you.

And being aware of my own practice you aren’t to pay anything to surrogate, all necessary payments are included to the contracts.

XXX

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Blooo33

oh commercial, now I get it. I know that a surrogate mom shouldn't have genetic relation to a baby, but I didn't think ivf is the only method providing this. I want to have twins, it's possible? um, doctors will find a surrogate mother for me on their own? without my consent? id love to talk with my future surromom to be sure I want her to carry a baby for me.

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to electralovesmurphy

Yes, plenty of couples leave from here with their twins actually.

How I understood and how it was in my case I didn’t take part in search and selection of the surrogates. We had a contact with her only after 3 month of expectation. But every month we received her scan. It was so because how we were told the first trimester of pregnancy is most stressful and dangerous period due to possibility of the miscarriages.

Perhaps I can’t give you an advice. because we have accepted their instruction.

But also we were consulted that she would be under full professional control, and we had no reasons for worrying.

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Blooo33

after 3 months? how on earth should I know what's going on with my babe if I know nothing about that woman? pregnancy itself is dangerous period, isn't it? now I see that i'm not ready for everything. maybe it's a common thing in countries with commercial fertility treatment. things are different in my country. do u ok with such terms? what is professional control?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33

In the beginning of our journey we also had a lot of questions, as well as we didn’t know what questions we must ask primarily.

The only thing we wanted was long-expected outcome, I mean our sweet baby.

I was afraid of content inside these points, between start and finish.

bfrida profile image
bfrida

Hi, dear, feel sorry for you. We also faced infertility problem. Due to my health state, I can't get pregnant, we underwent oe ivf treatment but that didn't work for us. yesterday we had a consultation in one clinic, in ukraine, I see Blooo33 have already mentioned this country.

As my body can't produce good quality eggs we applied for a de treatment. Due to various reasons, we chose the package with the opportunity to move to a surrogacy. I don't why but my husband told that it would be a good chance for us.

In one words, pay attention to this country, I don't want to put too fine a point on it, if you are interested in feel free to ask me any question

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to bfrida

sorry for ur health issues hun. but what is oe ivf? what were u told there? what questions do they ask? they take every infertile peson to a program? what is de treatment? it'd be nice if u explain to me these things

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply to electralovesmurphy

I'm ok, thank you. well, I'll tell you in general. Let us hypothesize, the woman has a tubal infertility, she can't get pregnant in the natural way, so she uses oe ivf. It means she will be under the treatment (stimulation of a woman's ovulatory process, removing the eggs from the woman's ovaries and letting sperm fertilize them in a liquid in a laboratory) Then the fertilized egg will be transferred to the woman's uterus, with the intention of establishing a successful pregnancy. The same is with the de(donor eggs) but in this case, the woman will be under the stimulation used in the egg donation process and will monitored for hormonal blood levels and endometrial growth. Then the embryos are transferred into her uterus.( the fertilized eggs which were taken from a donor). She will continue to take hormones to support the lining of the uterus after the transfer.

No, they don't take any infertile person, you should have the documents which say you can't get pregnant and you are allowed to undergo the ivf treatment

Hope you will understand

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to bfrida

to be honest it's a bit hard to understand. how did u know this? ar u a dr or you've been through this many times? so oe it's own eggs, de it's donor eggs. ok. I can choose whose eggs are to b used? my husband's sperm can be replaced by donor's as well? "fertilized egg will be transferred to the woman's uterus", it's the only way to make her pregnant? I heard about uterine insemination procedure and it's easier than what u offered. man's sperm injection and that's all. it's much easier I believe.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply to electralovesmurphy

of course, there is a uterine insemination as well. I just didn't try it. We underwent the ivf with my own eggs, but it didn't work, 4 times in a row. So, we will undergo the ivf with donor eggs. I'm not a doctor, just a website reader. I know only what I need. yesterday I had a counsultation with my doctor, that's why I know more than others.

you are willing to choose whatever you want. But can choose not the eggs but the donor. The clinic has rich donor database, you have an opportunity to choose up to 5 donors which you like the most. All of them are very healthy, beautiful, have their own children(requirements of the program). But only the doctor can choose one who is suitable for you.

Ttonyaa profile image
Ttonyaa

excuse me, if i interfere with conversation. I’m new merely and have a similar question.

Entering the site the first thing I have noticed was your thread on the front page.

Don’t know how it’s better to behave, if you dnt mind I will be following. And ask if I don’t understand somethin’

electralovesmurphy profile image
electralovesmurphy in reply to Ttonyaa

hi, be my guest lol. I still don't know how to start. hope u'll find answers babez

Ttonyaa profile image
Ttonyaa in reply to electralovesmurphy

Thank you very much, I will not be disturbing. I have just chosen the forums as maybe one of the most available method of gathering information. Nice to be here

thanx. I was told it's extremely important to share my feelings and impressions, actually all that bother me with others. I can say i'm here because of my dr's recommendations. but I need some time. i'll write about my problems later, sorry. but be sure I appreciate ur readiness to support strangers. x

sorry for ur loss, terrible news. however, it's ur time to 2 be happy! how much time did u spend trying to get information about surrogacy and make a decision? don't u regret anything? were u scared?

SheriWell profile image
SheriWell

electralovesmurphy, you sound depressed and I'm sorry to know that. Sorry for you diagnosis whatever it is. It's your right not to share here. If you're opting for surrogacy, I guess it's something really troublesome. sorry.

maybe it's not what you'd like to hear now, but as well as you, I'm young and have a husband who wants to make kids with me, but I have a diagnosed genetic issue so we're considering using donor eggs. It's still a heartbreak for me. But you know what? My man is still with me even regardless of all the troubles. This is the main, I think. If your husband supports you, you'll find a way... together!

Ttonyaa profile image
Ttonyaa

Hello, how are you doing?

Want to know, maybe you have news in your search. Recently I was present and watching a webinar by manager of Ukrainian reproductive clinic. I heard a lot useful.

I hope you’re alright just were too busy to be on this site posting your updates.

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