anyone who used or is planning to use donor eggs?

Girls, is there anyone who used or is planning to use donor eggs? What are results? How and where did you find donor? Due to condition of my health de ivf is my last chance to have a baby. It’s so hard for me to decide on this procedure. I want to ask those girls who had already underwent this procedure, how do you feel now? Do you have regrets? What are your feelings toward your baby/babies? Do you have feelings that baby isn’t yours? I’m afraid I won’t be able to love this child.

I asked my sister to be our donor. Unfortunately she refused. I thought that maybe it’ll be easier to take this situation if it’s eggs of my sis. She thinks it will be wrong if we rise her baby. Maybe she’s right…

But what should I do now? I really need to talk to somebody about this. My mind is full of thoughts, doubts and questions. I feel like I’m going crazy( Another question is where is better to do this procedure? Will I be able to choose donor by myself? What about prices? I have no idea where to start. Moreover I’m not sure if I’m ready for this procedure. I hope you will help me to figure it out!

7 Replies

  • I am just about to book a treatment with donor eggs. We had a failed icsi cycle in august. Only got 1 egg. The nhs wont do another cycle so figure donor eggs is the best chance for a baby. Probably going abroad thinking about cyprus lots of clinics out there with very good deals x

  • Hi milaSM, we did IVF using a donor egg last year. The whole process from us deciding to use a donor egg to actually having the et took about 7 months. Our clinic found us a donor, we said what characteristics we wanted from the donor then they matched us with one.

    We had to go to a councilling session to talk about our feelings and what we would eventually say to the child. It was one of the toughest decisions we have ever had to make but it was one of the best decisions we ever made as now we have a beautiful baby girl.

    As soon as we found out I was pregnant all the anxiety of bonding and loving the baby went away, I knew the baby was ours and the baby was growing inside me.

    There has been research that has shown IVF babies from donor eggs take on some of the mothers DNA..

    Lucky we had our IVF cycle funded by the NHS so I can't comment on the cost. We did have to pay for the drugs after we got the bfp and they were quite expensive but it was a small price to pay for what we gained out of it.

    If you have any other questions please ask.

    Feel free to pm me if you want to know which clinic we used. (I don't think you are meant to put clinic names on here)

  • I am in the process of going down the donor egg route and currently doing a mock cycle to see how my body is reacting before the main event toward the end of November/December.

    There are a number of ladies on this forum that I am sure will respond to you that have gone through this experience and I think you can also search on 'donor eggs' to bring up other posts.

    Firstly you are NOT going mad. It is totally normal to have mixed emotions and the more you look into it and gather information you will probably find it easier to make your decision.

    I had 6 failed ICSI rounds and therefore knew that going the DE route was really my last chance. I personally decided to move forward with this as I just did not want to look back and 'say what if'. I know in my heart of hearts that I would have tried everything and will accept the outcome, however it has taken a reasonable amount of soul searching to get to that point. Only you and your partner can make the decisions for yourselves.

    In the UK there is a long waiting list and you could easily be looking at a good year to get near the top. This is mainly due to the changes in the law where the donor is no longer anonymous and also any potential children, at the age of 18, can then find out more about their biological mother.

    A number of people will go abroad because the laws are different, you can get onto a programme very very quickly and the donors are anonymous.

    We decided to pit ourselves on the UK waiting list with the last clinic where we did ICSI, In addition we also moved forward with DE abroad. I will be honest maybe we took the easy route out. The clinic in the UK have a synergy with a clinic in Spain and we decided to go down that route. That basically meant that meds, check ups, paperwork, scans etc are predominately dealt with in the UK and all the rest abroad.

    There are a number of ladies going all over the place on this forum i.e. Cyprus, Spain, Estonia, Hungry.

    It might also be worth you looking at counselling. That might help (or hinder!!!!)

    I wish you all the very best with your decision making progress and I hope that you will post on the forum as to how you are doing.

    Good luck. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

  • You know I will have to use not only donor's eggs but also the surrogate mother in order to become one. Even though I have had my own issues with it, even created the thread where I was discussing if it is okay or not to tell your kid how he was conceived. But have never been thought that my kid will be not mine. I can't keep myself from imagining the day when I am going to see my children for the first time. You shouldn't think in this direction before the start of the treatment. Please, just know that it will be your kid, he will be completely yours. Do not worry about such small things.

  • I got my twins through surrogacy de and I have never even had this thought that they are not my kids. They are mine and I can't get over how much they resemble my husband. There is nothing surprising at all because he is the biological father too, but even though I am not biologically connected to kids I am still their mother and will be forever. I think you think about it too much. The mother is not the woman who have carried you and delivered you to this worked but the woman who has raised you the person you are.

  • I used both donor eggs and sperm and I must say that when the consultant talks it through with you, it seems as if it isn't likely to fail - they say 65 % chance of becoming pregnant.

    However, even though the donors passed the criteria to be donors - the embryos weren't as high a grade as they could be - and for me it failed.

    Some people are lucky though but it's just something to bare in mind as I didn't know that at the time.

    With an egg donor you can fill out a criteria sheet as to what colour hair, eyes, height, nationality that type of thing that you want to go for.

    All the best x

  • Thanks to ivf with donor eggs I became a mother of a beautiful girl two years ago. I had an opportunity to give the clinic a list with features of desirable donor. My daughter looks like me. No one can ever tell she’s from donor. First of all pay attention to reviews, good and bad. Make some kind of list of all pros and cons. Browse official websites of preferable clinics. I advise you to contact clinics directly. Ask them questions, which interest you. Pay attention to their answers. If clinic ignores your questions, ignores you, don’t answer for a long time or answers don’t satisfy you, then it’s better to cross that clinic off from your list. Communication with patients is important, it’s decisive factor. If they behave like that in the beginning, so you can imagine what they will do during the process. I wish you good luck! Don't be shy to ask questions. I'm always ready to give a hand)

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